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VIP January 2013

Parents Keep Adding Guests

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Marilyn, on August 22, 2012 at 1:01 AM

What did you guys do when your parents kept adding guests? We already sent STDs to like 100 people, but really want to keep our guest list as close to 75 as possible. Then my dad calls today and adds 8 people... What do I do? I feel bad, because I know it means a lot to him, on the other hand we...

What did you guys do when your parents kept adding guests?

We already sent STDs to like 100 people, but really want to keep our guest list as close to 75 as possible. Then my dad calls today and adds 8 people...

What do I do? I feel bad, because I know it means a lot to him, on the other hand we have a small venue and are paying for our wedding all ourselves.

I joked with him he would have to pay for everyone over 75, but I don't really want him to have to do that...

Any ideas? Did any of you have this issue?

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25 Comments

Devoted September 2012
Brittany N · on August 23, 2012 at 5:14 PM
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Yeah, if you are fronting the bill and not him, I would just politely tell him that you really want to keep your guestlist at 75 to stay on budget.

We had to tell my FH's parents not to invite ANYONE. Because in Vietnamese culture, it is polite and almost required to invite every single person that has ever invited you to a wedding, to your children's wedding. If that were to happen, our 50 guests would of turned into 200. My FH's bro had 100 extra people show up on the day that did not RSVP or were even invited by them. @___@
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Devoted August 2012
Patrice · on August 23, 2012 at 5:20 PM
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I went through that. My guest list was supposed to be 175 and we ended up sending out 223 invitations, and got 206 rsvps but i underestimated my final number bc i knew ppl wouldnt show. About 15 ppl didnt show which worked out bc i only paid for 180. Everyone is not going to show up not matter how much they "beg" for an invite. Dont stress
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Dedicated September 2012
Amoura · on August 23, 2012 at 7:04 PM
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Say NO. Seriously, you have to put a cap on it or people are going to just keep adding people. My wedding is in three weeks and I've had my parents talk to me about adding more people. You have to be firm no matter how much they bring it up.

Also, if you're not close to them then don't invite them (unless they are immediate family). Our guest list grew exponentially because if we invited this person then her sister, brother, mother-in-law and ex-husband (obviously I'm exaggerating) would be offended. This day is about you and the people who are close to YOU. Not that *were* close to someone in your family once upon a time or who you don't even know.

Sorry if that came off as a rant, I've had an awfull time of this and regret not setting boundries right away because now I'm over my limit and am praying people don't come.
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Master May 2013
Jamie Q. · on August 23, 2012 at 7:45 PM
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If your parents are not paying for this, you are under no obligation to pay for these people you dont know. You just have to sit them down and talk to them about it. I think it is insane family thinks they can add whoever they want.
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Dedicated September 2018
M Juliette · on June 21, 2018 at 10:49 PM
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We’ve already added people on our side and mil found out we went over our designated 100 per side. Haven’t sent out invites yet so it’s not too late. Aunt insists we pad the guest list because they will not all show up and it will be a meager party. But if they DO show up we’ll be well over. I swear I’m tempted to take people off this list
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