Partially virtual weddings

Hi Cindy! Are you having a small wedding due to COVID? Or because you want a small and intimate wedding?

View Quoted Comment My fiancé wants a small and intimate wedding and I am starting to also think that is a good idea, in part because of covid and in part because it’s stressful to have so many people come from all over and barely have time to say hi to them. And it’s good for the environment too.

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Understandable! My husband and I went with a small wedding and it was seriously the best decision for us so we are very much happy with our decision.

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with a virtual wedding for the other guests. The reason being is because some guests may be comfortable traveling and would love to attend your wedding in person, but they were only invited via virtually. I feel like they may be hurt because while they get to watch your wedding, they don't get the same experience to be in the same room as you guys experiencing it altogether. And it seems as if they are obligated to gift you something when they weren't physically there.

Now, if you only plan on showing just the ceremony part that could be different as some companies actually offer this when couples are eloping. Again this is only if they are eloping. So, at the end of the day you can do whatever you want, but just keep in mind that some guests may feel some type of way being actually invited vs. virtually invited.

When I had my small wedding I just didn't mention getting married to other family and friends because I knew they would nag on me and my parents as to why they were not invited lol. When my wedding happened a lot of them surprisingly understood. Some did feel some type of way, but these were family members I haven't even spoken to or seen in YEARS. So, I didn't feel as bad because of that lol.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Heather. Yes I am worried about virtual guests feeling unwelcome. Maybe just the ceremony? Or maybe we’ll do something else

I think the only way to do this is to have a virtual option only for those uncomfortable attending in person. Otherwise you essentially have A and B listers.

Friends of ours did this! They went to Vegas to get married with their immediate families, wedding party, and a few other closest friends. They just made a post on social media with the link to the live stream of their ceremony. We joined in virtually and it was awesome! There were no hard feelings that we know of

I wouldn't do this when your guest list is 50 people. It's a small wedding, but big enough for the virtual guests to feel B listed. It sends the message that you want them to celebrate you and get their gifts, but you can't be bothered to host them.


I think this is only ok when you have a clear line of demarcarcation for the in person guests, such as immediate family only, and it's a destination wedding or obviously a covid wedding.

View Quoted Comment I agree. This is what I would do.

Thank you everyone for your feedback. It was not my intention to have everyone virtual be “b listers” (some just out of town, thus discouraging travel) nor did I expect virtual guests to think they ought to buy me a gift. It is helpful hear all of your perspectives! I have already begun the process of revisiting our numbers with my fiancé in hopes that we can give everyone on the “A list” an in person and virtual option. He wants to spend more per person than me, but I’d rather spend a bit less so we can invite a few more.

View Quoted Comment Thank you CeCe! Good to know