Paying for bridesmaid/groomsmen clothes

View Quoted Comment Apparently this must be a regional thing (or maybe a social circle thing?) because where I am from (in the U.S.) the bride and groom always pay for the wedding party attire. It is actually considered somewhat tacky not to! (after all, you are the one requesting they wear special attire for your event). I can only think of one wedding in the past 10+ years where the bride and groom didn’t pay, and it was definitely spoken about behind their backs!

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That's so surprising. You're probably right that it's just in your circles because while couples sometimes pay here, it's considered generous when they do, not obligatory. In my experience it's either when they want something more expensive than would be reasonable to expect or most of their wedding party are on very tight budgets. There's no question that it's traditional here for wedding party to pay, though.

I gave each bride $100 to put towards their dresses. My dresses were on the pricier side, so I didn't mind helping out. I don't think you have give the bridesmaids/groomsmen money towards the attire, this is an event that they have decided to partake in, so it's best left to them to decide if this is fiscally feasible for them to undertake. It's completely up to you! If you do have the monies to purchase for them, then maybe that could count towards wedding thank-you gifts for them. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Actually, it is “traditional” where I am from for the bride and groom to pay. My mother paid for all her bridesmaid’s dresses, and said all the weddings she was in as a BM and flower girl, the couple paid for the WP’s attire. And she said when her mother (my grandmother) was young, it was customary for the bride (or her family) to make the BM’s dresses.
Again, I don’t know if this is a regional thing or what (although, my mother is from one state, which is where I grew up. And I now live in a completely different state, and everyone I know here does the same thing), but my personal opinion is that the “tradition” of asking a wedding party to pay for their own attire is one that should be done away with. People keep saying a bride cannot dictate whether professional hair and make up is utilized, or what shoes, jewelry, etc. they wear, unless the bride pays for it. So I can’t fathom how to justify the bride being able to dictate the clothing someone wears, but not have to pay for it. It’s a massive contradiction. Not to mention, I would feel the epitome of rude and tacky if I asked to honor someone at my wedding, then told them that “honor” came with a price tag (and that I would be dictating what clothing they would spend their money on). Just because something as a tradition, doesn’t mean it should remain in practice. Just my personal opinion. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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I live in the US.

If it's in your budget to pay for the wedding party attire, then I think it would be a kind gesture to do so! Otherwise, I think it's totally fine to ask them to cover their own attire. In every wedding that I've been a bridesmaid in, I paid for my own dress and shoes that the bride picked out. If you are going to ask them to pay for something to wear for your wedding, make sure you check in with them on what each of their budgets are, and choose attire that's within the lowest budget.

Hi, I also didn’t know you had to pay for the bridesmaids dresses? Well I only paid for there shoes and accessories, proposal gifts and makeup and I also bought my flower girls shoes dresses and accessories with their proposal gifts as well, alone with the groomsmen’s proposal gifts. Only thing i allow my bridesmaids to do was to let them change there dress style around to a different look!

View Quoted Comment We will be paying for our daughters outfits. That’s 3. I’m 38 and my fiancé is 42, so our parties are in that age range and married. I have their bridesmaids proposal boxes ready. I have the website and color they get to choose the style of dress from. All very reasonable in price. The boots I will pick a design or two for them to choose. Hair I will cover. Makeup if they want I think they can pay for. Who doesn’t like getting their hair done!? Thanks everyone. This has been helpful.

It's 100% ok to ask for bridesmaids to pay for their dresses, but bear in mind a $300+ bridesmaids dress they'll probably not wear again is a lot to ask. Pick something that works with people's budgets. There's lots more to commit to paying for on their end! If money is no object for you and you can afford it, I agree that's a lovely gesture, but remember there will also be things like hair and makeup on the day of that you may want to pay for as a thank you for being a bridesmaid. There's really no wrong way to do it.

View Quoted Comment I think bride/groom paying for their boots could be best. It gives you the availability to budget what you want to pay for and pick out for the boots since you want them to be uniform. They can even double as the bridesmaids/groomsmen gifts (as boots are often expensive) I would recommend giving everyone their boots prior to the wedding so they can break them in (especially if you’re doing real leather) Hope this helps!

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One thing is that items for the actual wedding aren't really *gifts* though because they're for the wedding...

View Quoted Comment Very well could be true for some people’s taste and budget! Every wedding is different. Just gotta do what’s best for you

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Just pointing out the etiquette around this subject. Once you involve other people, you don't get to solely do what's best for just you, though.

View Quoted Comment Oh I so agree! Thank you for this logic and kind truth! Weddoshould be as fun and affordable as possible!! #nostressday!!
Rev Genevieve Coleman

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On the flip side, wedding party members should not be seen as open checkbooks and couples should not be passing along the costs of an exotic venue to their guests as in destination weddings. Traditionally, it has long been the couples responsibility to pay for out of town bridal party accommodations, that's not a trend. The fact that most couples are unaware of that obligation is beside the point.

I think the much bigger issue is with the expectations that too many couples have of their bridal party, not the other way around. Most couples are aware that they are not obliged to cover transportation and clothing costs (US) for their party and most don't pay for out of town party accomodations either. If they do, it's to be generous, either because their BMs are on tight budgets and they can afford it, and sometimes because they know they are asking for more than is reasonable.

I don't know why anyone would feel pressured to pay all costs unless they really want to, though. That's not the norm or the standard.

My bridal party is paying for their own attire but we are providing the jewelry for the ladies and bow ties and cuff links for the guys. I’m also covering my bridesmaids make up

I had to pay for my own dress, hair, makeup every time I was a bridesmaid. So, I think it is totally fine to ask about it.