People Rsvping "no" due to dry wedding?

Like you said, if they can't be there to celebrate with you, then good riddance. If my family acted like that I would blow them off due to their lack of decency.

It seems like, from the way you describe your FH’s family, you should have at least kind of expected this. That’s not to say they’re in the right, but if they get drunk at every family function and they “need it” than they probably aren’t going to attend family functions that don’t have it.

View Quoted Comment I feel like the majority will not come now do to it and then we'll barely have anyone there. If that's the case, then I wonder if I'll regret not picking somewhere that allowed alcohol? I want people to want to be there for us, not for free booze. I asked a couple of close family friends their opinion and they both said that alcohol makes people loosen up and have a better time. I don't want people to be bored and not have a good time and potentially leave early.

That stinks. I probably wouldn't travel for a dry wedding unless I was very close to the person but if it was local I'd at least attend and then leave after dinner.

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon when choosing to have a dry wedding. At least you were up front so people *hopefully* won't be jerks about it the day of the wedding.

People have offered to host a "car bar" in the parking lot. But I don't want people to keep disappearing to the parking lot to get drunk. And I also don't want to risk getting caught by management and getting fined and/or kicked out. Do you think people could DISCREETLY bring a flask or something? Again, I don't want to risk getting in trouble.

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I would say stick with your plans because this is what you and your FH want. I've been to a couple of dry weddings and had a great time.

If I were you, though I'd still be irritated by it I'm sure, I'd try to think of it as a smaller catering cost in the end, which you and FH can use any funds left over from that to do something else fun for the two of you

How early in the day is your wedding? FH & I are also having a dry wedding for largely the same reason coupled also with a few alcoholics. However, we are ending at 7pm. I highly anticipate that my father and his siblings will go off to the local bar after the wedding, to a point that I had my day of coordinator recommend a few specifically for that purpose. I wont be surprised if the grooms family does the same and continues the celebration without us. I dont anticipate anyone saying no because of that but if your wedding is early enough in the day, that may be something you could suggest.

On the other hand, I also agree with what others have said. If they cant put down their alcohol for a few hours to celebrate with you, then you really don't need them.

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I would either have alcohol or not. This is just a recipe for disaster. You run the chance of your venue shutting down your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Our wedding is from 6-10:30PM. Ceremony goes until 6:30. Cocktail hour is 6:30-7:30, and dinner is 7:30-8:30. The first dances and cake cutting is 8:30-8:45, which people may stay for then and leave right after that. Then dancing for everyone is 8:45-10:15, and our send off is 10:15-10:30. But if there's no alcohol, who's going to stay to dance?

I'm having a dry wedding and yes some people suck about it. Stick to your guns and if people can't go to a function without it consider yourself saving money and a headache from an embarrassing person.
Overall you chose to have a wedding during peak party hours, if you wanted dry it's generally advised to do an earlier wedding so people are more inclined to come. Because invites are out there isn't much you can do but ban people from coming if they say they'll make a problem in the parking lot.

While it does sound like they’re being a
bit dramatic, you made a choice, and they did too. Many wedding planning decisions affect peoples’ decisions to attend— location, time, formality, and with every decision , it’s always important how it will impact your guests. The same can be said with something like choosing to have a wedding on a week day. It will affect attendance, but it’s your day and you can do whatever you want, as long as you understand that it means not everyone will come. I’m sorry some seem to be being a bit rude about it, but consider that it is better to know ahead of time and not have them there and grumpy and leaving early thus killing the party vibe.

The fact of the matter is alcohol does make a difference. Yes the day is about your marriage, but you’re also hosting a party to celebrate that. In a day where this often means travel and sacrificing free time, of which many of us have precious little of, this will affect attendance. In life in general I don’t need to have a drink to have a good time....buuuttt I do need a drink to DANCE haha and that is the major activity of a lot of weddings. I’d probably go to a local/convenient wedding without booze, or if it was an immediate family member or very best friend. But for a distant family member or peripheral friend , it might seriously make me reconsider (ps— this is the exact same thing I say about weekday weddings!). It is not strictly personal, it is nothing against the individual. It doesn’t mean I’m not totally thrilled for the couple— I’m so happy for all my friends and family finding love. But for my leisure time, I need to do what is best for me. And in some cases, to take an entire weekend to travel, which takes time and money, where there’s some factor that means I may not have the best time can be a tough sell. Not necessarily booze , but other factors like distance, knowing other people in attendance, knowing conditions (ex outdoor in the heat, on a boat with a tendency of seasickness), general accessibility (ex a remote location where we must drive)— all play in to the decision to attend, despite how much I might care about the couple and want to wish them well. And ultimately, guest happiness is paramount : unhappy guests make for an unhappy overall experience. So it’s better if anyone who can’t have a good time just stays home— everyone will be happier as a result!

It might be a good idea to move it up a few hours if you can. Especially if you want everyone to stay for your send off. On the other hand, we keep coming back to the idea that if they cant live without alcohol long enough to send you off before going to get a drink, how much do you really want them there? Plus if invites are already out, messing with the timeline could mess up everyone.

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I agree with LB, this seems like you're playing with fire. If the venue doesn't allow alcohol, don't have alcohol. Obviously if people sneak in flasks, you can't really do anything about that except to kindly ask them to take it to their car or something, but I certainly wouldn't have a "car bar" or anything like that. Just asking for trouble and possibly getting shut down. Which would be awful.

I really don't get the big deal about alcohol and weddings (dry weddings or even cash bar at weddings for that matter). It all baffles me. I can understand people might be a little disappointed at first, but a wedding is reallyyy about celebrating the two of you and having a great time with family and friends. It is definitely possible without alcohol. I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time with the ones who do come!

I've never understood the whole alcohol thing.. My FH and I are both LDS, but even if we weren't religious I don't think I'd ever be involved with drinking. It's kind of sad that some people can't remember memories like this because they were too drunk or "out of it" and so on. Like PP's, good riddance. The people who do show up will enjoy being there to celebrate you two, and remember it when it is all over!

It seems like FH's family was planning to get drunk on your dime. Try not to feel bad about this because you were honest about it being a dry wedding. People are free to do with that info as they wish, but I think it's their loss!

It does suck that you have so many no's, also expect most people to leave early. As a guest, I would also not like to stay until 10:30 with no booze, but I would never be so rude about it. That is really ridiculous that people are SO bent out of shape about it. There's really nothing you can do about it since you're so close and already sent invites. Hopefully you can vent a little, then move on from it. The people who really matter will be there to celebrate with you, booze or not!

If people can't come to one event and enjoy themselves for one night without alcohol, that's their problem, not yours. It's alcohol, not food. You'll be better off without them getting wasted on your dime anyways!

If Alcohol is the reason that people are not coming to your wedding well shame on them!