People that don't go to church, how did you find your officiant???

Make sure they can do the type of ceremony you want such as own vows, etc. I also went off the raitings to narrow mine down to three. Another thing to think about is make sure that you can talk to them if you have changes or ideas to incorporate. You want someone who you can communicate with.

We are planning on asking my cousin's husband to marry us. He's a youth pastor... I think we will be his 6th couple... You will want to ask about their fees and whether they will require counseling...

Questions from my wedding planning book...

Have you done weddings before?

Do you follow a prepared script?

What's your fee and what does it cover?

Is premarital counseling required?

Do you stay for the entire wedding or do you leave after the ceremony?

Others...

Will you allow us to write our own vows?

If you want special things (like unity candle, readings, etc.)... Will they incorporate them into the ceremony?

Do you have to be a member/ know a member?

If it's in their church, are you required to use their pianist/organist or other services?

Will they do an off-site ceremony?

Thanks ladies, I knew you would have ideas. Its just a little overwhelming.

If you are in Louisiana I can give you his number... he's a great guy and a good pastor.

My officient gave us a ton of different ceremonies and styles that he has used. we were allowed to cut and paste from the various ceremonies to create our own uniqe ceremony. He even asked us if he could use it as a future example for future weddings... we were honored. If you have any special beliefs it often helps to find someone with those same values and someone that recognizes the true meaning of what it means to be married.

@Abigail- Thanks but I am in Colorado.

@Vanessa- that is awesome!

I wrote our ceremony myself, and the guy who originally introduced us has been ordained for free online (check with your state to make sure they consider it valid) and is officiating.

We're finding officiants here in SoCal are extremely expensive!

I might get crap for this but... we put an ad on craigslist! Then I asked the responders for references and went with the most "legit" one. Met with him in person, and it went great! We had like, 4 people respond to our ad.. but we are from a small town so that could explain the small amount of responses.

@Carmen- I didn't know you can get ordained for free online. I thought the last time I looked into it, it was going to be around $500 for one time ceremony. I live in VA.

As Carmen notes, you have to make sure online ordinations (like from the ULC: http://www.themonastery.org/ ) are valid in your state. They aren't, for example, in Nevada. NV has very rigid requirements for "temporary officiant permits," probably because weddings are such a huge part of their economy that they don't want it to be easy to bring in your own.

Fortunately, our officiant met the NV requirements because he's a legally ordained Unitarian Universalist minister who served with a couple of different congregations over long periods, so he was able to produce a copy of his last contract & a ref from a higher-ranked official in the denomination.

However, if you can just have a friend get ordained and do it, I think it's a really nice option, especially if you don't go to church because you're not particularly religious. We wanted our UU friend to officiate because he would do a totally non-Christian ceremony--we had readings from the Tao Te Ching & wrote our own vows.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PROSPECTIVE OFFICIANT

Are you available for our date and time?

Is our ceremony venue within your travel area?

Do you recommend a rehearsal?

May we personalize our ceremony?

May we include his/hers/our children in the ceremony?

How much experience do you have?

Do you have any testimonials/recommendations from other couples?

Can you refer us to other vendors such as florists, photographers, bakers?

Can you tell us how to get a marriage license?

How much notice do we need to give you?

What is your fee?

Does it include a rehearsal?

How much of a retainer do you require to hold the date(s)?

When is the balance due?

When can we sign a contract?

Compliments of Nancy J. Taussig, Wedding Officiant

1-941-952-1440, ******@****************.***

Copyright 2010, A to Z Desktop Publishing, Inc.,

dba Barefoot Weddings

I would do an online ordination but seeing as we are going to be hitting up our band members to be witnesses (seriously the only other person is my sister) so I don't know anyone to get ordained. I will have my long time pastor do the vow renewal back home in a year but for now I just don't know anyone in the area. (We go to church here but not long or regularly enough that they are bending their must be a member rule).

I might actually go the craigslist route if I can't find a good vendor here. I just worry because there are not a lot of days open in October probably since its well in a month or less.

Local judges can normally officiate.

I asked out citys mayor to officiate (he is ordained) at my daughters wedding. We were so happy that he was available....we live in a major city, so the mayor is a busy man.

Check with the County, many judges will come to wherever you are to marry you, you don't need to do at the courthouse. Of course, they will charge.

@sharon- I heard that judges only marry people on weekdays. Is that true? I would like my sister there but she can't skip that many classes.

In Colorado, Couples themselves may PERFORM their own marriage (C.R.S 14-2-109). They must apply for paper work when they get their marriage Lic from the County Courthouse in order to do this.

Here is the law code:

C.R.S. §14-2-109(1) (1993), allows a couple to solemnize (perform) their own marriage. To solemnize their own marriage, a couple need only indicate such on the marriage certificate form on the third line, indicating "themselves". The couple should both sign below where the clergy or judicial officer usually signs and then, sign again as "bride" and "groom". You may solemnize your marriage while in the building and return the certificate to the clerk immediately. When you solemnize your own wedding, you must return the marriage certificate no later than sixty days from the date the license was issued. Besides the couple themselves, others who can solemnize their marriage are judges, retired judges, magistrates, public officials, Indian tribe officials, and clergy.

My word of advice: Make sure he shows for the rehearsal dinner! That way you know what to expect and can review the performance right after. Mine couldn't make it to the rehearsal, which made me mad! And I had to pay for that on my wedding day. He flew through the ceremony sooo fast. I could not keep up with what he was saying, when he was doing his readings. He was a great guy, sweet and somewhat charming. But tried to throw out some cheesy jokes and I just ended up feeling bad for him because all we heard were crickets in the audience. My MOH threw out a couple courtesy chuckles, which were so obviously fake but they helped him relax a bit, so he wouldn't be as nervous.

Man did he sweat! He was soaked! Then again, it was an outdoor ceremony in South Austin,TX right below the sun. Thank God for my airbrush make up. I am a heavy sweater too and didn't lose my look because of my professional make up. = )

At a hospital, local hospital officiants are usually non-denominational and pretty open-minded!!!!