Personal vows - fiancé gonna come thru?

Did he agree to write personal vows? I'm sorry, I'm a little confused on what you're asking specifically.

We agreed to write our own vows. We also informed each other they were between 3-4 minutes long. You need to be on the same page or it’s going to one awakened unbalanced ceremony!

If you’re saying you didn’t tell him he needed to write personal vows... then that’s gonna be awkward if he doesn’t have any. It’s best that you kind of give some directions like how long it should be.

You need to be on the same page with this. How is he supposed to know if you don’t discuss it?

I'd feel silly if I decided to write and recite my own personal vows and he didn't. I told him I wanted to write mine and if he chose not to, then I'd at least write my vows and send it to him beforehand to read. It's definitely something to talk to him about. The last thing you'd want is for him to even feel remotely bad for not writing any because he didn't know you did.

Wait, does he know you’re expecting him to write personal vows?

It was actially my FHs idea for both of us to write our own vows.

I agree with the previous comments. I would make sure he's on the same page about whether to each write your own vows or not. If he doesn't want to, you can always write yours and send it to him in a letter to read before the ceremony.

I'm confused by your question as well. Writing your own vows is a decision that you and your partner should be making together

It’s just you.

So you made the decision without giving him a choice in the matter? Oh I hope he doesn't retaliate and writes the vows.

I definitely didn't have this experience, but if I were you, I would make sure that my officiant had a good vow script to use in case this doesn't work out the way you planned. Then, just give your future spouse your personal vows as a letter and use the script in the ceremony.

I mean you're gonna need to tell the guy that you're going to be writing your own vows.

I was on the other side. At one wedding we went to months before ours, apparently FI was impressed and commented to me that he thought it great. Fast forward to the week before our wedding, and he tells me, he felt silly rehearsing them with anyone else, so maybe we should practice our vows. I said, you listen to the JP, and repeat what he says. FI said no, the personal ones we wrote for each other. ... Dead silence.

This is a decision that needs made by the both of you as a couple, not just you. Writing vows is very personal, and not everyone is comfortable with it, especially when reading them in front of so many people.

I think it needs to be a mutual decision