Pesky Cousins

You do not want anyone at your wedding who is not supportive of you and your relationship. Full stop, end of story.

My own mother didn't come to our wedding, because she is a narcissist, and her name wasn't on the invitation.

I was so calm and happy without her there, it was glorious.

This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, and it's ALREADY stressful. Don't add to the stress.

This is where boundaries are important. Is it a family member from his side? Does he view the person as toxic? If he does, boundaries need to be established with that person and that should include not inviting them to the wedding. If your FH doesn’t think this family member is toxic, that could be harder and may require you two to go to couples counseling to get on the same page and learn how to set healthy boundaries with unhealthy family. If it’s a family member on your side, explain to your FH that you’re setting boundaries and that family member won’t be invited.

You're right , toxic family does not belong at weddings.

" my cousin trying to invite some relative of her husbands to our wedding without asking us.": WHAT?? Put your foot down, period.

It's not her wedding, you don't owe her any explanation.

As Sarah said: This is where boundaries are important.These boundaries need to be established with that person ASAP.

Good luck!

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of this. If it’s his family, you should tread lightly. If it’s yours, explain the firm boundaries you want to set.

View Quoted Comment

Seconding this. You can't set boundaries for other people. So, you can explain to your future spouse why you don't think these people should be invited, but if they are his family, the final decision is up to him. That said, you get to decide if him prioritizing family over your comfort is a problem in your relationship.