Picky bachelorette (party) please help

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I do agree on leaving the mother out, shes already had her wedding experience, its time for her daughter to have her own. Currently dealing with this

You have given her several great options. At this point, I would tell her you are out of ideas, and since she seems to like nothing, she can come up with ideas. Tell her everyone’s budget and wish her luck.

The usual bachelorette party is several hours, just one evening. And $150 should be more than enough. Maybe you should get together and chip in to buy her a real, comprehensive Etiquette book. And mark with a ribbon the section on parties in your honor, where it says that it is extraordinarily rude to try to trade up to something more expensive that you like better. Give her something to read when she is sitting home by herself. If you really have proposed 10 things ( about) that she has shot down, stop trying. Simply do not have a bachelorette party. More than half of people don't have them. They are a new thing for women. Do a shower or luncheon for her, a bach for the groom, one party each. What an unpleasant spoiled princess.

Well that stinks... Sounds like she doesn’t want to let go of the weekend affair but it’s not in the groups budget. Maybe you can let her know the group can’t afford it and wish they could but if she would be willing to pay for a majority (or the entire) 2 night AirBNB the girls may be able to attend a weekend affair within their budgets.


If they want to keep it less money maybe mani/pedis instead of the spa. They also have workshop classes that you can create your own signs (they have a farmhouse look) or candle making classes! I have also seen companies that put together picnics for groups that looks super cute! You had a ton of great suggestions but I hope these help.

Oh wow! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this! I’m not a drinker either, and I gave some suggestions to my wedding party and family, that I like like escape rooms or even a murder mystery dinner. I love things that involve using your brain lol my wedding party aren’t to big on those ideas, so I said okay think of something and I would be okay with it, the bachelorette party isn’t something that is required, it’s just to have a good time with good people. Obviously your bride could care less about others. Good luck 🍀

At this point you’ve given great suggestions. If she’s so picky just tell her you’re not sure what else and if she has any ideas besides AirBnB to let you know. Maybe you can stay at a hotel instead of an Airbnb if it’s hard to find one, but I’d ask what she wants to do at said Airbnb/hotel then bc we r doing an Airbnb for mine but plan to go to the winery one day and tubing before we leave on Sunday. My MOH and my friend who lives in the area we are going also are looking for a tarot card reader to come and my friends friend who teaches yoga is going to offer a class in the am for whomever is interested. All this is dependent on what the girls want to do and how much they want to spend. But if she wants an Airbnb you’re gonna either be by the pool at the place or out doing any of the things you’ve already suggested to her, so give her reign of the planning and tell her you’ll see if it works for the group of girls and go from there.

I'm about to be a real jerk, but to be honest, it sounds like your friend is not only a spoiled brat, but a boring spoiled brat, to boot. She appears to have no interests whatsoever - the only thing I didn't see you suggest was a museum, which I'm sure she also will have no interest in.

It is completely unreasonable for her to expect everyone to be able - or even want - to spend their whole weekend at a bachelorette shindig. I blame modern wedding media for this nonsense, because only in the last ten years or so have people decided bachelor/ette parties have to be some multi-day event. I would never have asked my bridesmaids to spend an entire weekend with me, and I would never, ever spend an entire weekend with someone as one of their bridesmaids, simply because I would not want to.

Depending how many girls there are, $150 is plenty. That's not a trivial amount of cash. That is my grocery bill for the week. Or my power bill for the month.

At this point, I would calculate the budget, tell Bridezilla what it is, and tell her figure her own party out with it. You'll book/reserve what's needed, but she needs to figure it out herself. If she wants anything that costs more than the budget she is provided, she can shell out her own money for the difference. And she can deal with whoever decides to join or not.

If she's so picky, let her pick her own. I am a very picky bride, and my girls are so happy that I chose everything for them so they don't have to plan much. I am also not a drinker, but I will be doing those activities you suggested. Can you stay in town to save everyone's money? What activities does she normally do? Great Escape room, rock climbing, archery, ax throwing, kayaking or just have a get together at someone's house for brunch.

I feel like you're doing a great job with coming up with some amazing ideas! Bachelorette parties should be fun for not just the bride but for the people going as well. I guess if she's being so difficult the best way to go about it is asking her what she wants out of the day. In the end it is to celebrate her so if she (or her mom) are going to shoot down every idea you have then maybe she needs to just choose what she wants out of the day. It doesn't need to be big or have a ton of drinking. Maybe she's a crafty person and you guys could do a scrapbook or craft day. Or maybe you want relaxing so you do a movie night. Or even if she's sporty and would do a Top Golf or a yoga day. Or rent a boat and have a day on a lake. Whatever it is she should be the one to choose at this point, otherwise she won't have anything. If I were you'd I'd be pretty done selecting options if she's going to be so picky.

View Quoted Comment Could you girls go see maybe a show at the casino and then dinner? And whoever doesn’t want to gamble doesn’t have to and if she wants to she can for a few? My fiancé is doing his bachelor party in AC but he’s not a gambler either but I wanna say they r doing dinner, a show, and just an overnight out drinking.

Your friend is taking bridezilla to a whole other level with all of this. From what you've said, you have literally offered every possible option under the sun that doesn't revolve heavily around drinking, and she's shot them all down. If she's really set on the AirBnB, talk with the other invitees to see what's in their budgets. If everyone thinks it's going to be a struggle, you may just need to tell her that's not possible, and she'll need to consider one of your other ideas. If she still won't give, then maybe you all should bail. Maybe then she'll finally get the message.

You sound like a great friend. The fact that you are coming up with so many ideas for her shows how caring you are. I feel like at this point she needs to help you pick. Maybe she could come up with a few ideas and let you choose from those? Otherwise you’re going to get burnt out if you’re not already there.

View Quoted Comment That's a great idea! Thank you

Not sure what part of the country you're in but maybe a bridal scavenger hunt. I did one for a friend's wedding a few years back. It's an all-day thing and it takes you on cute pit stops.

What about a high tea? You could make it include booze for everyone else (or at least one glass if you wanted), but she could have tea or coffee, plus cute little cakes.

She does sound like she's been rather difficult, but I figured no one had suggested this so far, and maybe she'd enjoy it so I'd throw it out there

View Quoted Comment She doesn't drink coffee or tea. She did decide on an Airbnb and now she's moving her wedding date up. It's all a mess