Piercing A Baby/Toddler's Ears Vent

Although I have seen it done on girls much younger, I generally agree that it's an unnecessary risk. I know quite a few people who even ended up getting their ears re-pierced in adulthood because the holes had morphed as their bodies changed growing up. Quite silly to wear earrings where the hole on the left is 2 mm lower than where it started and the hole on the right is 2mm higher and 1mm farther from the head.

My parents didn't allow me to do it until I was a teenager. They actually encouraged me not to and demanded that I show maturity in other areas of life before "changing" my body. It didn't hurt then.

At the same time, I would never say anything to another mother about it.

I thought this opinion/article, although not really about the piercing subject, is on point about parental control: http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.html

I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 13. My mom had said that I had to wait until I was 17, but since I was the only one in my class that didn't have pierced ears, she finally caved. That being said, I haven't actually worn earrings for about a year, and had to repush the holes every time I decided to wear them in the last five years, as I don't wear them all the time.

However I would never judge a parent for doing something like that. I see it a lot.

I don't really see the point in doing it so young. My parents waited until I decided I wanted them before I got them. I was 6 or 7 and I honestly don't remember the pain. My aunt told me I cried, but I'm certainly not traumatized by it. I'd think it would just create problems with potential infections or getting torn out either by the child him/herself or when dressing him/her. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't want to put my kid through any unnecessary pain. I fully intend on waiting for my kids to make the decision themselves.

FTR, I've had other piercings close up, but I didn't wear earrings for years and my holes never closed up, so it's not as simple as taking them out.

I disagree that circumcision is the same thing as having your ears pierced...Just a quick question for you ladies who are bring it up: how many men who are circumcised have you spoken to that really wish their parents hadn't done it?

And with regard to the people saying "there are worse things a parent could do to their child" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? So, as long as there is something worse you could be doing, it's fine to do it? I'm sorry but that is more offensive than having them pierced to begin with.

Pan, unfortunately it's not your place to say anything, but I agree: it shouldn't be done.

Yes, Melanie, I agree. The risk for infection is much greater with a circumcision. I have witnessed some docs perform some not so great circumcision. I have witnessed some great looking circumcisions. I haven't spoken to anyone personally but...

https://www.facebook.com/MenAgainstCircumcision

http://questioncircumcision.weebly.com/men-against-circumcision.html

http://www.noharmm.org/bju.htm

And on the subject of 13/14 being "old enough" - no, many 13 and 14 year olds are not "old enough" to make decisions by weighing a lot of factors concerning their future. But I don't think that's relevant here. Piercings close, you don't have to wear earrings if you grow older and decide, "Man, that was a dumb decision I made at 13."

However, 13 and 14 year olds are old enough to look beyond the mere fact that "everyone else is doing it" and consider their personal beliefs on it. To me, waiting to let a teenager have a say is more about teaching them to think through decisions that will affect them, as well as teaching them to care for themselves and express themselves in a relatively safe way.

I think each parent knows their tween/teen best when it comes to this. Some kids are better off when their parents give them freedom to make decisions like this... as they learn most from being the decision-maker.

It’s great that you agree with Pan, just like I disagree with you and Pan. Fortunately, it ISN'T your place to say. Just like it isn't mine to say about circumcision.

If I have a daughter, I will pierce her ears ASAP, and I dare someone to call me a bad parent. I try not to judge.

I honestly have no clue at what age I got my ears pierced. I have a horrible memory. If I had to guess, I was somewhere around 12, give or take.

My Dad wanted me to get my ears pierced much more than I actually wanted to. I have always been scared of needles, so similarly the idea of ear piercing scared me as well. Whenever we would be in the mall and walk by a piercing pagoda, he would say to me "If you get your ears pierced, I'll get mine pierced." That was never enough to entice me to get them done though. Then one day his offer changed to "If you get your ears pierced, I'll buy you diamond earrings." Apparently that appealed to me because I finally said yes haha

My brother's fiance (almost 23) just got her ears pierced for the first time last month so she can wear earrings for her wedding.

For me personally, if I have a daughter, I'll be waiting until they are older and actual decide if or when they want their ears pierced.

@Labake, not sure I should look into those at work, lol. FTR I wasn't saying they don't exist, just curious how many you know personally who wish their parents would have waited. FI? Boyfriends? I personally don't know a single one. I'm interested that you say you've never spoken to anyone, but that you have witnessed some great and not great surgeries. Not saying this isn't the case I'm just curious what you do for a living?

I think generally speaking, a legitimate doctor (I'm not talking about genital mutilations performed by witch doctors in 3rd world countries) has more experience and know-how about performing a circumcision than the ear piercer at Walmart, Clarie's or Piercing Pagoda does at piercing.

You're totally right that it's a parents' prerogative and ultimately their decision. I never said anyone was a bad parent, I would just never do it. You seem very animate about doing it "ASAP" and I'm morbidly curious about the reasons. What is the advantage?

Mine were done when I was a month old. FH and I talked about if we had a girl to get them done when she's a small infant. I've been told that's the best time since they won't play with them and they can heal up quickly. But it's really one of those things where each parent or person will have different feelings with.

As a mother of a baby girl, I can say that when she was first born I could not wait to get her ears pierced (I was told the best age is 3-6 months). Then I had to bring her to her first round of shots. I cried just as much as she did. I could not bear to hold my baby down while someone else inflicted pain on her for no other reason than to be "pretty". I am in no way saying I am against it, but for ME, I just couldn't go through with it. I found other ways to frill her up. And you better believe she has the best hair bow collection in town. A friend of mine has a 5 yo that asked for it to be done, and she went and was a trooper, and loves it and takes care of them. I think each child is different as is each parent. I plan to wait until she asks for it. My parents made me wait until I was about 12 and I had wished I could have them so much earlier, but my mom didnt want the responsibilty of making sure they were taken care of. Parenting is one of the most personal responsibilities CONT

I'm glad I read this because it gave me a lot of insight - I used to see it as cruel, to pierce a baby's ears.

I never thought about how doing it so young would make it easier on the child in a way, because they would be so used to them and less tempted to play/mess with the earrings. We're not having children anytime soon but this did give me a different point of view and for that I'm grateful! Very informative thread

CONT* a person can have, so it really is something that needs to be discussed with consideration. Telling someone they are making bad parenting choices is really hitting them where it hurts. Unless of course they are negligent and/or abusive. This is in NO WAY to knock anyone without children, but when you are not a parent, there are no words to describe the level of emotion you have to your children. Therefore it makes it difficult to have a debate on parenting. Again I am not trying to say people without children shouldn't discuss parenting, just be aware, it could very well get more heated than intended.

LOL @ Amy for the best hair bow collection in town :-)

I wore clip ons for my wedding and live to tell.

But because I don't really have pierced ears, and never felt I was missing out on something, can somebody tell me why it's so important? It almost seems to me that it sounds "mandatory" from many of the responses I read.

This is just a funny post.

First of all, in some cultures piercing an infant/toddlers child is very common.

Second of all, bottom line is its HER child which she gave birth to so your opinion does NOT matter nor does your mother in laws.

While you may not agree, it's not your place to feel anyway about it. Just remember to each their own.

I think this choice is up to the parents, but I understand how you feel about it Pan.

I would never pierce my baby's ears and usually shake my head when I see it For one thing, how do you know your daughter wants her ears pierced? My youngest daughter is almost 12 and is not the "girly girl" type and wants nothing to do with wearing earrings. To each their own.

Friends got their ears pierced in their teens. Mom thought I was too young to make such a decision (her ears were not pierced). I got my ears pierced at age 20 and it was no big deal. Mom finally got hers pierced (she was over 80!).

I think it's totally wrong to choose to do a permanent action to a baby just because you think it's cute.

I have a friend who pierced her daughters ears when she was 6 months old and now she's 2 and always pulling them out and losing the earrings. My friend is now afraid that she will pull the earring out so hard it will damage her ear or even split it.

My mom waited until I asked to get mine done and that is the same thing I will do if I have a daughter. It's not that big of a deal and all vanity of the parent.

@ Mrs. S - It's not viewed as a mandatory thing so much as a cultural norm with many.

All of the ladies in my family (that I know of) got their ears pierced young - I actually recieved mine the day after I was born IN the hospital (I'm not sure if there are hospitals that still offer this or not). I understand that many parents choose this for their child, just like my mom did for both me and my sister. It is afterall, THEIR child. I also understand where all of the ladies who would rather let their child make that call about their own body. If I end up having a little girl some day (*fingers crossed lol*) I would want to get her ears pierced while she was younger so that they would have time to heal without her fussing with them. However, that will likely not be the case, as FH is not fond of piercing girls' ears when they are young (something about beauty pagent babies, I don't know). If both parents agree to the pierced ears, then it is what it is.