Plan B guests, how to deal with invitations? Is it rude....

Seconded. B lists are rude

Depending on who you "b" list is comprised of, I don't think it's rude. Most people will understand your on a budget and can't accommodate everyone.

I have a plan B list simply because it's far and I don't have a huge allowance of people at my venue. So if someone RSVP's no.. well I am sending out an invite.

For me, it won't really seem rude. I don't think anyone but family members talk. None of my friends really live close to one another, so my Plan "B's" will be oblivious. And, I want all of them there... so...

Do you have wiggle room to print out new RSVP cards? I wouldn't send out the ones that have the dates passed.

I've been B listed before and I was quite happy to be included in their day. Depends on the circle of friends and family I guess. If all of your invitees rsvp'd with a no you wouldn't just let that be, you'd fill that room up!! Maybe just have separate invites for the B list?

I don't think B lists are rude in some cases. I have people i would LOVE to invite, but with our huge families there literally is not enough space in the venue unless we get some declines. However, if you literally are only inviting them because you need them there for numbers...it seems a bit off. Anyway, I think you need to send the invitations earlier than you would have, and hope you get some back early. you need to have a certain date where if you have declines by then, you can send the B list invites. if you don't you can't send them. in that case, start adding plus 1s.

If you have to b list then you either did your guest list or venue wrong. It's rude

I disagree with people saying a b list is rude.

The key is to have two rsvp's with different dates.

Yeah, two RSVP cards! That is the key!

B lists are rude. It basically is telling them, "You weren't good enough to be invited the first time around." People will understand that you had a budget/space limit.

Our venue also requires us to have a minimum of people or we have to pay a certain amount per missing person ( which is more then the plate) so if I can't hit my minimum with all my friends and family I'm definitely inviting another round of people,Clearly not everyone will agree on this matter but hey, who cares!? Now go get yourself another set of invites and good luck!

I plan to get 2 sets of RSVP cards with different dates. I'm on a very tight budget and paying for the wedding myself, so the largest venue that I can afford seats 150 total, including my bridal party, and our guest list is currently at 220 and still growing because of add-ons from both sides of the family. Therefore, a B-list is unavoidable in my case. I would absolutely love to invite everyone on my entire list, but unless I get some declines that just won't be possible.

I don't think it's rude as long as you have 2 Different rsvp cards. Letting them know they are a b guest by sending the late rsvp would be rude.

I dont think b lists are rude. Lots of etiquette sites say you should have them. No one other than your FH will (or should) know about it if you do it correctly. You definitely need to have two separate RSVP cards. If i was a b list guest and got an invite i would be thrilled!

B lists are only rude if you make it rude. Don't make it obvious that they were B listed, DO NOT send out after rsvp date. And you really don't need 2 seperate invite sets. Unless every guest is slow and rude themselves, most people don't wait until literally the rsvp date to send in their responses. Atleast half your guests will send in acceptance or declines, early enough for you to get a count. You figure out who declined, we'll there ya go, you have an empty seat. Send a "B" guest invite immediately, to fill that spot. Only send B guest invites when you have declines. But please don't wait til right before or after the rsvp date, b/c then it's obvious they weren't originally invited, THEN it's rude.

It's a pretty generalized assumption to think people will know they're B listed, and to think they will think they weren't "good enough" for your list. If a guest actually thinks this, perhaps they don't know the bride and groom well enough. Any family members & close friends should know that they're loved and wanted at the wedding, but due to budget or venue restrictions, aren't originally invited.

Of course there are going to be mixed opinions on this. In some circumstances I would think a B list is rude. However, my family takes up most of my guest list and I'm not even that close with them. Right now we have a "no work friends" rule that just sucks because they are fun and awesome friends that I would love to have at the wedding, but can't because we are at our limit.

They all know we are paying for the wedding ourselves. And they know that they are on the B list. As soon as family declines start coming in, they get an invite. Everyone is fine with this. It just depends on your personal situation, and the people you are inviting.

Some people are gonna find ANY reason to get offended. If it wasn't your B list it would be something else. Screw them!

I agree with Nafina. It's only rude if you are obvious about it. We had a shit ton of people RSVP the week after we sent out the invites. If we had B listed, those people would have gotten their invites a week or two after the A list. They wouldn't have known.

I don't like B list to fill seats. I don't think its rude to use a b list when you have a certain number of people you can afford and a certain number of must invites that some of your "I really want you there!" people end up cut from the master list. It happened with us where some of my friends I really wanted there I couldn't fit into the budget, as soon as I received some declines from family I sent their invites out right away and I am soooo glad I was able to invite them all.

B lists are very rude. Please don't do it.

Nafina's right. Just send the A list out plenty early and b-list go out as no's come back, still well ahead of the RSVP date. No one knows they were secondary, even if they compared invites, which they won't.

I'm surprised people are so quick to judge this instead of offer the advice she requested. It's a fairly common practice.

Lots of people do B lists. most people understand that it's not really personal. just about everyone has max (or Min) for one reason or another, so only so many people that can be invited.

I'm even going to have to have a B list of sorts though I originally never imagined it would be needed. I can only have 90 people in our venue.

guests that I thought would automatically be a no, are making plans to come when I told them they would be getting invites.

I'm happy, and still imagine we will probably have between 10-30 actually attending guests but since I now realize you just never know who may RSVP yes or no, I now have a A and B guest list as well!

just do your best, those that care about you should understand.