Planning a "Pop-up" Wedding w/o a Date? (Military)

We do elopements all the time. People call us, get a license and we meet them and their small group of people in one of our park locations for the ceremony.

Keep it small and you'll be fine.

Celia- I definitely wouldn't be worried about planning if we were thinking about an elopement or a very small ceremony, but I think we'd prefer to have a more "normal"-sized wedding with all our family & friends (100+ guests). Of course, this is more challenging, hence my post looking forward to hearing from some ideas/advice!

I just planned a party for 100 people with three weeks' notice. It was in the upstairs room of a restaurant/bar. If you have an officiant who is flexible, it can be done. Don't worry about a lot of decorations, and get those things that are not time dependent (your dress, etc.) done ahead of time. Of course, some of your guests may not be able to be there with only last-minute notice, but that's pretty much unavoidable in your circumstances.

You may still miss out on some things. Most professional photographers, for example, will be booked by the time you're ready to set a date. You may just have a dinner party (with perhaps some background music from an iPod), rather than music and dancing, because a DJ may be hard to arrange last minute. But you can always check around for someone who has had a last-minute cancellation. And ultimately, what is important is getting married, not the details of one day. My parents have precisely one black and white photo of their wedding, and they are still married, over 60 years later.

Also, if you have the wedding on a Friday or Sunday you may find more vendors and venues have more availability last minute than would on a Saturday.

Also consider good event venues whose primary function is not events.... Art galleries, libraries, rec center of a church, a local theater with a seasonal schedule if you're looking for a space in their off season, a rooftop garden.

If you set up a wedding website with the date TBD and a dedicated email address specifically for the wedding and then add the date and details as you learn them.

Etsy sells print your own invitations so if you bought nice card stock or even had Kinkos print out the invitation on card stock and mailed it straight away but asked for RSVPs to be sent to the dedicated email address so that it doesn't get lost in the mix with all your normal emails.

Also, instead of Save the Dates (b/c you don't know the date), you could send out engagement announcements, explaining that you will be married at some point this year once FHs schedule is known and have an engagement party now and a bridal party soon thereafter as a way of keeping your loved ones included in the process so that the impromptu wedding is on everyone's radar so when you learn your FHs schedule and book the wedding it won't seem so abrupt.

Dress and bridesmaids dresses can be bought in advance. Non floral or floral light decor elements can be purchased off Etsy, rather than a florist and flower petals or a couple buds can be added in as accents at the last minute by a day of coordinator, which I think would be a helpful addition to your pop up wedding.... If concerned about booking one in your time frame, ask around your extended network for someone who is organized for a living, an executive assistant, stage manager, interior designer, etc.

I can see where short notice to so many guests could lead to a lot of declines. would you be ok with that?

Why not just wait til he is at his permanent duty station and start planning then?

Thank you for so many helpful ideas!

Jeleebeenz- there are a number of reasons for not waiting to plan until then, both personal preferences and practical necessities that dictate the timeline. Ultimately, having a certain kind of wedding isn't worth significantly delaying our marriage & getting to be in the same place again- the military doesn't exactly make it easy for your non-spouse to come with you overseas. I would much rather get married sooner and just find creative ways to make it special!

Hi Emma. I'm a future army wife so I know how hard deployments can be. I would suggest keeping it simple and if you do schedule a date at a venue make sure you have a clause that you can cancel or reschedule if he gets deployed. Good luck

I like second Brides ideas. If you can't get a photographer, having a plugged in wedding with people taking pictures if they feel like it could be a great idea. Ive seen some wonderful pictures on here that guest took. You could have bridal portraits taken before hand and maybe even some portrait pictures taken after the wedding with your group if you need to. About a year ago I got a Facebook invite to a wedding and I believe it was with maybe a days notice. Lots of people came, and the wedding was beautiful. I think if you keep it small, keep an open mind, And Explore some non-traditional options it could be an amazing day.

Coming from a bride who is engaged to a marine and has two brothers who are active duty I would say just wait till he is at his long term duty station then start to set a date because then he can take leave and it will make things much easier. I planned my wedding around my brother's duty stations

For something like this it would be hard to have all of your guests able to attend and pull together all of the vendors. Maybe you should do the cake and punch reception if you cant get a caterer? Do something other than flowers for bouquets and center pieces? Try for during the week or a friday or sunday.

If worst comes to worst and you just cant make it work maybe consider a small wedding now and a vow renewal in a couple years + when your schedules allow it.

Hi! I'm a Military FH too and this is our exact predicament right now! Did you end up continuing with the pop up wedding? Did it go well? I would love ideas and feedback if you have any!