Planning a wedding the same time as a friend..bad idea.

That sucks, I'm sorry your friend is treating your weddings like a competition. I haven't been in that exact situation, but I've had friends in the past like that. People who can never just be happy for you, but have to make everything about them, or otherwise rain on your parade. The best advice I can tell you is to just stop talking wedding with her. Anytime she talks about hers, just nod and smile and change the subject as fast as you can. If she asks how your wedding planning is going, keep it vague and general, don't give her any details, and change the subject. You can't control her behavior, only your reaction to it. Try not to let it get to you...good luck!

I went through the same thing! My family friend (who is almost 7 years older), was always trying to one-up me. I have been engaged since December 2012, so I have had a ton of time to plan. I told her my ideas.. and she said that she would NEVER do anything like that..etc. Well, low and behold, she got married a few months ago, and copied most of my ideas.. down to the first dance song! I was LIVID. My FH just thought of it as "hey! now we get to do the fun planning over again."

Just go with the flow. Breathe, and realize why you are having this wedding in the first place-- to be married to the one you love!

Yes, similar situation. My advice - be very hush hush about all of your ideas, especially if hers is before yours.

Just try to focus on your wedding and planning, and just try to be the better person by not indulging in the competition

Ugh that sucks. I only have one decent friend that is also planning her wedding now but she's very low key. The only thing I don't like is she chose to get married on the same day as my 1-year anniversary...which happens to be a Monday. So it's not like some special holiday or because it lands on a Saturday or something. So I am kinda pissed about that.

One of my BM was recently engaged she is planning her wedding for next year, my budget is bigger than she has allocated for herself, lately everytime I say what I'm not having she says oh my wedding will or I can't see myself not doing that. My venue was really pricey and she made a comment about' knowing how to shop and that she can get everything that I want but am cutting. I've learned to ignore her and stop discussing wedding details with her besides her dress and shoes etc.) planning my wedding I know that the things she wants like,a destination wedding dress venue for $100ppl will be hard with 10k)I can not stand a one upper they are miserable ppl who attempt to make you and your feats seem invaluable. Don't allow anyone to take up space in your life with negativity wedding planning is stressful enough.

Wow! So sorry you have to go through that!! =( I have completely the opposite problem cause my friend doesn't even wanna talk about her wedding at all. Maybe for the better from the sound of it! I hope you guys can work it out!! Praying for you!!

Comparison is the theft of joy. Hopefully you can keep your focus on the amazing things you're doing and dodge most of her one upping. It sucks to lose support you were so excited to have!

Sounds like it is just a shitty friend.

Our wedding date was quickly surrounded in other weddings. I have only really talked wedding with one of the other brides, and I have no worries over her stealing ideas. I have found it really nice to have someone that understands the stress but also shares in the excitement. I felt a little lonely in the wedding world before she got engaged.

I haven't been through this, but I would definitely stop sharing wedding plans with her.

I feel your pain 100%!! have a friend and we had both been dating our FH's around the same time (i was dating FH a few months longer) well she got engaged first (1st 1up) but basically only bcs she gave an ultimatum. She also gave very specifics about her ring (which she got what she asked for). When I got engaged... her very 1st ? was "how big is your ring?" uhh excuse me?! i will say i was happy to tell her tho bcs it was over double hers. We could have had a much larger budget but FH and I have chosen to keep it fairly small and have it in the south where I'm from. She told me she would be lucky if hers was under 70K- thats great for you! I've just learned to keep quiet and say that i'm so happy for her. dress issues are a whole other ball game with her. Im thankful we are planning in different states so i hope the 1ups stop soon. I am getting married first so i'm sure if they come whatever we do WILL be out done but at least we will have $ left in our bank accounts Just try to breathe and stay calm and quiet. I've learned that less is better in many situations and simply saying that you haven't finalized certain things.

This isn't personally happening to me, but I have heard of this happening to other people. Just stay quiet about your ideas. And if she is still super nosy, tell her you are having a camo wedding with blaze orange ties.

That does suck! And my situation is kinda different .... There are 3 of us in the family engaged right now and my budget is the biggest that I found out. Which is quite sad because mine is only $7,000. My cousin even suggested having her reception with mine! I thought that was insane. And then I heard my aunt saying I was bragging about my wedding and I'm serious not. My advice would be just to ignore her don't let it bother you.

I've experience this but w/ a group of more than 6.... about 2 are really bad. After I brought my dress in January I stopped sharing details & try to avoid them. We aren't friends so its not hard to avoid.

I had a "friend" like this during the planning of my first wedding. I wasn't as into it as I should have been, but she made me feel like I had to do things a certian way or it wouldn't be right. It actually ruined our friendship. Sorry you have to go through this.

I'm not having that issue, but I feel like my cousin might feel that way about me come time for my wedding. My cousin got married on New Year's and I liked her photobooth idea (but I had panned to have one anyway) and I like some stuff she did and I've been bouncing ideas off her, I just hope she doesn't think I copied her when/if(she lives out of state now) she comes to my wedding!

ETA: I'd just not discuss planning with her anymore, and if you do, make it the little details and nothing big

I had asked my FH's best friend that is a girl to be a bridesmaid. a few months before the wedding she dropped out and then shortly after got engaged herself. Now I have to watch what I pin on Pinterest, what I post on Instagram or talk about in general because she's using my ideas little by little and yet my wedding is before hers!! Sometimes i feel like girls show their true colors during big events like this

Oh my goodness that is THE WORST! My sister and I got engaged the same weekend and we're both MOH ' in each other's weddings this Fall. At first I was worried that we would have a problem but it's actually been really fun planning together. It helps that our weddings are complete opposites in ever way. That sucks though that your friend is taking the fun out of it for you!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! You should definitely stop sharing with her like others have mentioned. I've been fortunate enough not to have this happen, although I was nervous it might. My godsis, my best friend and I all got engaged last summer. BFF isn't gonna get married til 2017 when she finishes Vet school, but Godsis is getting married in July so we've been planning at the same time and we actually like having each other to bounce ideas off of, someone that gets the wedding planning madness.

Oh yes, I have an ex best friend, whom we are now civil toward each other. The main reason we had stopped talking in the first place is because she always tried to upstage me and I'm talking about the dumbest things. Well, she finally got engaged about 1 month ago and set her date for Aug. 15th. She also asked my MOH (cousin) to be her MOH when she has 2 other friends that she's known wayyyy longer. So, it's very strange how she picked my MOH as well. My MOH doesn't even consider her all that close, so she is thinking about dropping out because my ex best friend keeps asking her to throw her a shower and she isn't financially able to right now. So, yeah I was pretty irritated at first, but now I'm whatever about the whole thing. I stopped sharing info with my MOH, I have my sister my other MOH (well, actually my cousin is my matron, since she is married.) to share stuff with and she's been amazing.

That stinks that your friend is acting that way. As others have said, just share the big details or stuff that definitely won't change (like the dress). My cousin is getting married a few weeks before me and we were talking wedding not too long ago and found out that we have total opposite planning and wedding styles! I was worried that our weddings might be too similar too close together, but we have such different styles and ideas that none of it will feel repeated 3 weeks later. Its nice to have someone there to bounce ideas off of and understand the wedding world without having that element of competition. Will any luck your friend will realize that you will have totally different weddings no matter what, stop one- upping you, and enjoy the planning process and excitement together.