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Dedicated June 2015

Planning a wedding the same time as a friend..bad idea.

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Danielle, on March 24, 2015 at 10:18 PM

Posted in Planning 25

I thought this would be so much fun! Boy was I wrong. She is turning everything into a competition. Her and her fh are much more wealthy than my fh and I and she is not hesitating to throw everything she has planned so far in our face. She's copying off ideas and of course "one upping" everything...

Has anyone else ever had this issue before? It's taking away from my entire wedding planning experience, and I hate it.

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25 Comments

VIP June 2015
JHazel · on March 25, 2015 at 7:29 AM
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That's no fun. I would recommend avoiding talking about your wedding plans with her if you want to maintain your friendship. If she asks questions just give vague answers and change the subject to something else that you have in common.
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Super May 2015
BringOnMay! · on March 25, 2015 at 7:40 AM
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We have good friends getting married 6 months after us with the same theme. They managed to get their e-pix taken before us and took every idea we had. Some were unknowingly, others not so much. Now I've just tried to not discuss any details with them. Try not to talk wedding!
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Master May 2015
Jess · on March 25, 2015 at 7:41 AM
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That sucks. I've been in a kinda similar situation... one of my BMs is in three weddings this year. One of them is going to be a very creative, unique wedding in NYC. About this time last year, she started saying how excited she was for this other wedding, how awesome it was going to be, etc. She sent me the website of the venue and a sketch of the brides dress and raved about how cool they were. At the same time, she was putting down things that I was doing for my wedding; she even said she didn't feel like buying a dress and new shoes for mine while in the next sentence talking about what she's wearing for the other wedding! It got really ugly for awhile. I don't live in NYC... the only options I have are reception halls and "normal" wedding stuff. I don't have the time and motivation to put the work into sourcing anything unique. I actually stopped talking to her, first about wedding things, then everything in general, for quite some time. Things are better now, but it definitely took a toll on us for a long time.

For sure, put wedding talk to the side with her. Either talk about other topics, or be scarce until your weddings are both over.
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Master January 2015
Janeen · on March 25, 2015 at 8:01 AM
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Are you sure you guys are friends?

She sounds really insecure and not supportive.
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Master October 2015
Pancakes · on March 25, 2015 at 8:34 AM
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Are you sure she is not just talking about her wedding and you are misconstruing it as bragging and one-upping? We have two sets of friends getting married after us (2 and 3 weeks after) and one set we are very close with. It's been fantastic planning together. They have a larger budget than we have and she talks about the wedding but in no way do I take it as bragging or one-upping. It's really nice having someone to talk about wedding stuff since most people would get bored hearing about someone else's wedding. And we've grown closer during the planning. I am really happy that we can do this together.
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