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Kathrina
Just Said Yes February 2020

Planning for 2 Ceremonies

Kathrina , on September 26, 2018 at 11:11 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 6
My fiancé and I have always dreamed of having an outdoor wedding. We already booked our venue for our date (02/02/2020). The package we chose includes the outdoor ceremony that we want and the reception. However, both our families are Catholic and are asking us if we are going to do a church wedding. And I feel a little guilty because my fiancé and I are both Catholics and even though we don’t go to church every Sunday, we have a huge belief in God. I did the research and found out that there’s no way to have a priest perform a mass outside of church. So a friend made a suggestion of having a small intimate catholic wedding with just our immediate family a few days before our 02/20/2020 wedding. That way we can still have the outdoor wedding that we want and not feel guilty about not getting married in church. We thought it was a great idea. My fiancé and I were thinking of doing the small church wedding with our immediate family on 01/29/2020 (our bf/gf anniversary) which is only a few days before our outdoor wedding where we’re going to have maybe a friend perform the ceremony. Is this okay to do? Any thoughts?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Cassidy, on September 26, 2018 at 12:11 PM
  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
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    I would do whatever makes you happy it is your day not your families you have to do right by you. If you feel you want the religious wedding you two will need to decide soon to do your marriage counseling,
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    You can do this, but I just don’t understand the need for a second ceremony if you’re already married. The outdoor ceremony will just be you renewing the vows you said a few days prior.
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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
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    I've been to a wedding where they did this and some guests were like" um ok then why did we just have to sit through a whole ceremony if you guys already did this.."
    That being said, it is your day you can do whatever you want. Just be aware that when other guests find out they may feel left out or confused as to why you're having a second ceremony (vow renewal) or why they weren't invited to the actual one in the church.


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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    There was a girl on here a year ago that did this exact thing, and I thought it was perfect! She had a gorgeous black tie vow renewal and reception. With the second ceremony, please make sure people know that is not your actual ceremony. Since you will already be married, it is a vow renewal/celebration of marriage.

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  • starsinwaves
    VIP November 2018
    starsinwaves ·
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    I had friends who did something similar. They had a huge wedding on a Friday night, and did a small Catholic ceremony earlier in the day mainly because their grandparents wanted it. I'm not sure of the technicalities (which one is your legal ceremony), but I think this is one instance where it's OK to do it twice.

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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    Did you just do research or have you talked to a priest?
    if you haven't spoken to someone i suggest doing that first. A mass cannot be said outside of church but you can have a ceremony outside of a mass. You would need to get special permission to have it outside, but I know people who have done so. If they won't allow it, the priest can give you your options. Keep in mind there are things the church requires to have a catholic wedding, like classes.
    I wanted a cruise wedding and my priest was willing to marry us just us with a witness the morning we left, we had to be legally married before the ship left anyway. He also was willing to have a church ceremony for a couple marrying in Hawaii after them returned home but they brought him to Maui.
    I would have a small ceremony the morning of that way you don't have 2 days
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