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Savvy June 2021

Planning own bridal shower

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Lan, on September 25, 2020 at 1:06 AM

I’m getting married on June 12, 2021. My maid of honor is my cousin and doesn’t live in the same state I live in. I decided to do research on what venue I would like my bridal shower to be located at since things are getting booked. I noticed she’s doesn’t really ask me questions on what I like or what I envision my bridal shower to look like. Although I talk to her about the wedding and things I’m planning she’s not so much engaged on what I say. I notice she usually changes the subject or don’t talk about things with me pertaining to the wedding even though I bring things up. Long story short I decided to book the venue as to where I want my bridal shower to be at. Yesterday I booked a planner to decorate my own shower. Do brides even plan their own bridal shower? Is that even ok to do if I want my vision and theme a certain way? I just feel like if I wait for my cousin who is my maid of honor she won’t get anything done.

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23 Comments

Expert August 2021
Molly · on September 25, 2020 at 11:14 PM
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To be honest, I agree with other pp. It's 2020 and I think there is no problem with the bride helping plan the bridal shower. I do agree that's a bit early to book something, especially with Covid.

Of course, I can't say that because I'd be a hypocrite. My mom said she was going to throw me a bridal shower at her house because she wanted to host it at her new house (which is a beautiful house on a lake). My MOH also said that she was already planning on bachelorette (because she's just like me and is a major planner) and was thinking of a weekend getaway. So I talked to my mom and she loved the idea of my bachelorette being as a slumber party (and bonfire) after my bridal shower. My MOH will be fully in charge of my bachelorette however, I will be helping my mom co-host my shower. She said she'd love my help with things because I'm more of a detailed oriented person.

Every person is different and while yes the idea of hosting your own shower seems "rude" that doesn't mean it is. There are so many wedding (And everyday life) etiquette rules that we just don't follow anymore. Times change, etiquette changes.

I'm sorry some people are a bit blunt. I knew when I read your title what many of the comments would be. I would have a conversation with your MOH and your mom. February is early to have a shower but, I don't necessarily think it's wrong to co-host your bridal shower.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on September 26, 2020 at 7:21 AM
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Yes definitely! People are so stuck on tradition and etiquette but people can do what they want for their events. It’s 2020 many things have changed. I hope you and your future wife have an amazing shower!!!
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Dedicated January 2021
Yvonne · on September 28, 2020 at 2:34 PM
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Do brides even plan their own bridal shower? Is that even ok to do if I want my vision and theme a certain way? I just feel like if I wait for my cousin who is my maid of honor she won’t get anything done. --> Haha very similar story for me! MOH does live in state but is in grad school so she's super busy. If you have the time and are okay with it, you can plan the bridal shower granted you communicate with the MOH first about it and ask her for her input if you ever need it. Just have some fun and delegate tasks if needed to other bridesmaids. For me, I just told them who I would want to invite, and what kind of theme I wanted and suggested a date. I'll be honest, all the stuff about tradition/etiquette fly over my head - like who decided the rules and who's going to enforce them? Do what works for YOU.
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