Planning while grieving

I m am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what a difficult and confusing time this must be for your family. Your feelings are all very valid.

I lost a very dear family member this spring. Experiencing life's saddest moments at the same time as the most joyful has been incredibly hard. It shatters me knowing he won't be at the wedding but I know how incredibly happy he was for us and I know he ll be in my heart that whole day. In weird way it has been a bit of a blessing because there is something happy to look forward to in the middle of all the sadness. Grief is a weird thing and it will sneak up on you when you least expect, for me it tends to come in waves. The best advice I can give you is to feel all the emotions. It is ok to feel sad but remember it is also ok to feel happy and don't feel guilty for that. Your brother loved you and wants you to live your life and be as happy as you can be. Having some joy during a difficult time doesn't diminish your loss in anyway but hopefully being in a room full of love will help heal your heart a little bit. If you decide its too much and you need to postpone thats ok too. Do what is best for you and your partner.

Engaging with positive experiences and emotions is central to the process of adapting to loss. However, it can certainly be challenging. It is also important to remember everyone grieves differently and there is truly no right or wrong way to grieve. By communicating your feelings with your partner, family and friends, they can understand that people grieve at different paces and in different ways. Through communication and openness, you can feel more understood by your support system in your grief and be empathetic towards the feelings of those around you. I definitely recommend doing one thing solely for yourself each day and allowing yourself to feel happy or good in that moment. It also helps me to write at the end of the day, write down all your feelings and just it get it out.

This might sound silly but when I was kid my mom would tell me to look for cardinals when someone passes, she said a cardinal represented a lost love visiting you. The day after he died I went for a walk and a beautiful cardinal flew down and just sat in front of me. It was the sweetest moment. I can't currently look at pics of him without falling apart so instead of a memorial table there will little cardinal lantern at the wedding in memory of him and all those that can't be there on that day.

Be extra kind to yourself right now. My apologies for this being so long winded, if you need to talk or vent these boards are great for that. Sending you the biggest of hugs

Oh I'm so sorry. That's an awful loss. Rosebud has given very good advice. My very best to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss 😢

I get married in 1 month and I lost my dad suddenly 2 months ago. Its hard, I definitely took time from thinking about my wedding to mourn my dad, we had already pushed our date back for 2 years and I almost wanted to again this year. But slowly I was able to get back into the planning and feel excited. I still can't let myself think about how he won't physically be there or I'll go into a dark place. My mom got my sisters and I teddy bears made out of his old Army shirts and I plan to bring the bear to the wedding in honor of him. I know he will be there in spirit and be happy for marrying an amazing man who will take care of me (his daughter) and our kids (his grandchildren).

I have months in between the loss and the wedding. I can't imagine 18 days. Give yourself time to grieve, slowly you will feel excited about the wedding again and you can bounce back into the finishing touches. I know people will say "He would be so happy for you" and they are correct. But YOU will feel that yourself as it gets closer. Lean on your spouse, talk with your family, stay connected. My mom is also taking it hard as she was the one who found my dad that morning. But she is actually looking forward to my wedding, I think its helping her have something to look forward to. So even though your parents are also grieving and hurting, like I said, talk with them, you'll be surprised, maybe they are still excited and looking forward to your big day and that will help your mindset with that.

I hope this all made sense. Again, I'm so sorry you lost your brother. 🌟

I had a very close friend unexpectedly pass away about a month ago. He was writing a song he was going to perform at our wedding. We've known each other since we were 5 and we are turning 46 this year. He was so happy for us. I'm still in the opening stages of grief over it. I still reach for my phone to text him. It's raw and stupid and it will be well past my wedding date in 2 months.

On top of that, my younger brother just had to have two stents put into his arteries and he is walking me down the aisle. I'm just feeling very overwhelmed by the intensity of all of this grief and worry. Plus my mother passed 3 years ago and my father has dementia.

It is totally normal to be sad that these people we love who should be there, won't be. It can be hard to indulge in the joy when the grief feels crushing. But when you are feeling happy about it, don't feel guilty because you know they wouldn't want to ruin this experience for you. They'd want you to be happy. But it's ok to not be too. Grief is a harsh mistress and it will overwhelm you at the dumbest moments. Just try to carry the good times in your heart and remember that they loved you.