Planning your own Bachelorette party...thoughts

Usually a bachelorette is similar to a shower in that if someone is available to plan it for you it's something you forgo. You can plan a bridal luncheon which is most often a thank you from the bride to her attendants and adapt to your liking.

You can do whatever you want, girlfriend. No one can tell you what’s forbidden during wedding planning, it’s 2021 and all norms are kind of out the window at this point.
If this were one of my friends, I would LOVE to have a girls day and get to celebrate my friend if I wasn’t able to shower and celebrate her during a normal engagement. I say do it!! Come up with some kind of fun game plan and run it by your friends and see if they’d be up for it and go for it! That sounds like a blast if you aren’t about to do a traditional bachelorette!

It doesn’t have to be a “party” just a night with your best friends to celebrate your marriage. That’s what my husband and I did and honestly we ended up planning most of it because we knew what we wanted. My friends and I went to a spa and my husband and his friends went to a football game. We met up after and went to dinner/a bar. It was less of a party and more of a get together with all our friends. It’s total BS that you cant plan it yourself, if people dont want to go they dont have to! I personally think its way more rude to expect your bridal party to travel for a bachelorette party, whether its planned by the bride or not and yet that seems to be the norm

You know your friends and if they would be into something like this. If you're paying for everything, I don't see a problem. Like you said, it would be like any other party someone plans for themselves. Just don't expect anyone to do any type of surprises or pay for anything for you like bridesmaids sometimes do at bachelorette parties.

Another option may be to not call it a bachelorette party? Just tell your friends you want to have a girls night to celebrate before you get married like you would for a birthday celebration.

I also don’t think you need to pay for this for them, personally. If you asked your friends if they wanted to have a girls day since you weren’t doing a bachelorette, I think that would be similar to asking aside from getting married. You don’t have to plan some extraordinary trip and day and pamper a group of your friends. I really think you could just ask if they wanted to go to a spa or something fun, my friends would jump at that and not expect me to pay - they’d probably just be ecstatic to go!

Since you're covering the costs, I don't see any problem with this. Doesn't sound tacky to me, I'd go for it!

Everyone has opinions about everything. So don’t get overly caught up in that part. My suggestion would be to send an invite to join you for a spa day. Personally, I would cover some portion of it myself, since I’m inviting them to an event where money needs to be spent to attend.

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I agree with this!! I think a fun spa day would be an awesome way to celebrate with the ladies before your big day!

I think bachelorette party is okay because it isn't a gift-giving occasion. Throwing yourself a shower is a definite no, of course.

I'm usually a stickler, but I have thrown myself a birthday party before. It was at a bar, I covered drinks for the night, and nobody brought gifts because it was clear it was just a fun night out.