Please help :( future in laws taking $ I've saved for my wedding

My FH is still in school and I'm working so I can empathize a little bit. I've helped him out with money here and there when I need to, but 97% of the time, he has himself covered. You should not be relying on his parents to pay his part. He needs to have a conversation with them and get the money from them if that's what he needs to do but you shouldn't have to be dealing with any of that.

You gotta nip that in the butt right away. Do not allow them to invited extended family. Make it clear that you are on a budget!

I'm sorry but i think you might have to push the wedding. i make a lot more money than my FH and he doesn't pay rent, utilities or internet.. he can barely afford his student loans, i have my own but i help him pay his student loans too. unfortunately because he dropped out and has an associates degree is hard for him to find good paying job. he currently works with $14 an hour and i had him take another part time for $11.50, it's still not enough for him. he's trying his best to move up in the company by applying to other jobs and having leaders recommend him since he's a good worker. what he does do is he puts $40 into the wedding savings everytime he gets paid which i appreciate. i would too but i don't because feel like with me paying for food, gas, etc is enough. i put a roof over our heads, full plate on the table, and gas for us to move around. i never expected help from anyone, not even his dad who knows our struggles.

Who pays gets to make decisions. Flat out don’t invite their family and friends. A lot of people are saying to you, “it’s their money they can do what they want.” So can you.
I think your fh needs to stand up for himself and for you both. If they’re taking care of one son but not him, it’s not right.

I do agree that it's his responsibility to be covering his own expenses, especially if his parents are supposed to be covering for him and they're bailing. However, I think it's really annoying that people are telling you that it "isn't your business" what they spend their money on when they're telling you that they will give you money. That is so ridiculous!!! You never even asked them for the money, so when they promise you something so important, of course it's your business when they don't follow through!!! Ugh. Anyway, I know how difficult it must feel that you love him so much and want to keep living together despite all of this. I think that it's going to be hard to talk about it, but something really does need to change here. School can be hard but he needs to be able to support himself, because it's really not fair to do this to you. He should understand that.

View Quoted Comment I agree! I'm going through the same thing now! My son needs help with rent, all kind of bills. His brother is not getting married with a wedding bc they can't afford it. My youngest son's fiancé asked me to help pay for theirs. I said no, now I am banned from anything wedding except maybe getting to attend. I agreed to pay for their rehearsal dinner which is what the grooms family tends to do. She said they aren't having one so I agreed to pay for a bar for over 100 guests, which costs wayyyy more. But nothing I do is good enough. Also the entire wedding is HER family. There's only 3 people from our side invited. Her mom just inherited a lot of money. I live on disability. What should I do? I hurt bc I'm being excluded but thousands are being spent on the bar alone. Please help.

View Quoted Comment This post is from 2019. Since then, couples are waiting until they're older and more established before getting married and even more, they pay for their own weddings. You as MOG are under no obligation to pay for anything. Let them figure it out like adults.