Please Help! Surprise Bridal Shower

I don't see anything wrong with it at all, especially in their circumstances! Everyone invited should know their situation and shouldn't be bothered by it one bit. People always bring gifts other than what is on the registry, so I wouldn't worry about it at all. If they don't need anything, they don't need it. Money and gift cards are always nice. In my opinion, if someone sees that on an invite and thinks it's rude, they don't have to participate in the shower or gift exchange.

I'm a big stickler on registering if you're going to have a shower. I'm going to assume that your son has never been to or planned a shower and didn't really understand why that's the case. BUT, since they are in the Air Force, I think this is 100% justified. I would add on the group "I know gift cards are not usually given at showers, but this is the reason..." I would hope everybody would have enough respect for what they do for a living to overlook it. Then, just fill the shower with little ice breaker games and visiting with each other. Don't make her open the gift cards and the amounts in front of everybody, that would make it awkward!

Another suggestion: Maybe ask them to make a small registry to REPLACE some stuff they already have? New bedding, new pots and pans, new bath towels. They won't add new stuff, they just throw out the old stuff as it's replaced.

Thank you so much! I feel so much better. This is not the first time planning a shower, but I never had the request for "No Gifts". I didn't think to much of it because of their jobs.

Thank you so much, Sarah! I love the suggestion!

Thank you, Amanda! I am feeling much better now. {sigh of relief}

I think there are always exceptions to every rule this is the exception. I wouldn't worry about it!

For some reason my sisters didn't know we were registered so they came up with a really cool idea I had X amount of guests and each guest counted as 1 month in the year everyone had to come up with a date idea for the month so we have dates for the next two years. For example we got two picnic dates a little basket with wine and goodies and a blanket. Another month was a gift card to Netflix and an ice cream shop. For our one year month we have a weekend getaway trip in Amish country at a beautiful inn. Maybe you could try this? All you would have to do is assign someone a month.

I wouldn't apologize. The people knowing your daughter should know why she would prefer gift cards. Plus it's her wedding, so who cares! No one should judge them for that, especially since the groom asked for them too. Even if you didn't ask, people probably would have brought gift card or money anyway. Make sure to have a cute outfit waiting for her in case she doesn't pack one since it's a surprise!

Wow! This is truly a great idea! But, unfortunately cards were sent out and received by guests to the shower. Thank you so much!!!

Cute Outfit is ready too! Idea of the groom! He is an amazing guy. She is so blessed to marry him. Thank you! All these responses are making me feel better about the gift cards request in the Registration part of the cards.

I agree that this is an exception to the rule and I truly wouldn't worry about it. Thank you to your daughter (and future son in law?) for their service.

The entire purpose of a shower is to shower the bride/couple with presents. Period. That's it. No gifts=no shower. No exceptions. You sent invites to the shower, and requested money instead of gifts--that's a big no-no but it's done. I'd try to "fix it" as much as possible by posting in your FB group and spreading the word that "We're planning to shower the couple with love and good wishes; gifts are not required! The couple has not registered, and has everything they need." I assume people will still bring gift cards, but you shouldn't make a show out of it at the shower--just have cards put in a box on a side table, and don't think twice about it, and don't have it opened at the shower. I'd also try to play up the "shower the couple with love and good wishes" aspect, and maybe have people (optionally, voluntarily) fill out some advice or wishes for the couple, anonymously if they prefer, and instead of opening presents the bride can read these off later in the party.

In case this ever comes up again (or for others maybe in the same situation), if you simply avoided the word "shower" (e.g. "Bridal Celebration", "Bridal Luncheon", etc.) and not listed requests for gift cards you could have had the exact same event you're planning, and just spread by word of mouth if people asked what they wanted "Oh, they can't have much stuff, and gifts are absolutely not necessary, but I'm sure they'd appreciate a gift card to Amazon if you want to get them something anyway".

Thank you so much for the suggestion, Mandy! I really appreciate your opinion. I like the verbiage suggestion for the posting on my FB Bridal Shower Group. I will use it for sure. The reason of the request of the GIFT CARDS under the "Registry" part of the invitation cards (BTW... They were already printed that way) was because they are in the military. They cannot call any place home yet. I know that after they get married at least for a year for sure they will stay at one place (same base), but after that they don't know yet. They are getting things as needed for their new apartment. This is why my future son-in-law suggested "gift cards". I thought it wasn't a big deal but, now that I have been reading more and more in these wedding websites I became concerned of the error. I get it now. Plus, I was clueless about etiquette here in the US because I am from El Salvador and etiquette over there is different from here even the name is not "Shower" It is called (translated to something similar) "Goodbye Singleness Party".... LOL. It sounds funny translated to English. I should have done more research before just accepting my son in laws request for the gift cards.... Oh well. Like you said, it is done now and I think you have given me something to explain to them through that FB Group.