Plus one taken away

Oof. Thats a tough spot, I’m sorry. But personally, I’d be thinking of how I could tell the bride I’m backing out of the wedding, not the other way around. It’s not just that your partner isn’t invited, it’s how it was done and that bride doesn’t seem to be respectful of your relationship at all.

I would be telling the bride I will not be attending the wedding if my partner isn’t invited. How could you be expected to celebrate her relationship when she is disrespecting yours?

View Quoted Comment I agree with Andrea. I would tell the bride that unfortunately, you are no longer able to attend the wedding. If you partner hasn't done anything wrong, then there's no reason for the bride to uninvite her from the wedding. The bride doesn't sound like she's being a true friend to you. I recommend putting your relationship ahead of the friendship in this scenario.

In actuality, the bride is obligated to invite your partner, as you are a package deal. Couples get invited as a social unit. I agree with other posters that I would be telling the bride that if she cannot respect your relationship and your partner, then you cannot help her celebrate her relationship. It sounds like you are going above and beyond in trying to help the bride (staying all weekend at a wedding venue is not in the typical scope of MOH duties), and she is repaying you with being incredibly disrespectful.

It's you're choice but that is really awful of her to do that to your partner. And to put you in that position. To me, either all bridesmaids get a plus one (preferable) or none do. And anyone who is initially told they can have a plus one, gets to bring someone unless it's past the RSVP date. Or unless the plus one did something genuinely awful, but cultural differences don't count.

If your friend (the Bride) knows you are in a committed relationship with this woman and that you are serious about marrying her, then your friend's behavior is absolutely rude and ridiculous. It seems like you are taking on quite a bit of responsibility as your friend's maid of honor, yet she repays you by cussing out your girlfriend and uninviting her from the wedding? I don't have all the details to know if this is rooted in racism or what, but that simply is not acceptable no matter the reason. If I was in your shoes I would absolutely tell your friend that if she is not going to respect your relationship then you must recuse yourself of maid of honor duties and will not be attending the wedding.

Your "friend" (she isn't behaving like one at all) is acting like a child. Couples are social units, you should both be invited. A friend's husband is attending my wedding whom I have only met once in my life, and very briefly. But I care deeply about my friend, so how could I ask them to attend a celebration of my love without the person they love? The only time you might not invite a significant other is if the relationship is very new and if they are still in the early dating stage.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this stressful situation. It sounds like you need to have a very frank discussion with the bride about your friendship, and her treatment of both you and your girlfriend. Friends support one another when they find love. She is definitley not doing that.

She is not your friend if she disrespects the person you love. Your partner is watching how you'll protect and love her now and in the future. Don't put her trust in you in jeopardy for someone else's bigotry. Put your own family first always. Send your regrets and say goodbye to this "friend" who doesn't support you.

That is highly disrespectful towards you and your partner. A significant other is never a plus one because it’s a platonic free for all guest (often a random stranger the couple doesn’t know) who is not in a relationship with the invited guest. It’s disrespectful and rude because they are asking you to celebrate their relationship with their partner while saying that your relationship with your own partner is not valid. A guest’s relationship must be acknowledged if they have been together and consider themselves serious at 3 months or if they have lived together 10 years with zero intention to make it legal. That duration is counted at the time the wedding is first announced to be planned, not when invites are sent. So no, she actually is obligated to invite your partner by name. The length of your friendship is moot, and your relationship with your partner trumps that. Unless your significant other is toxic (abusive, racist, criminal, homophobic, a general danger to everyone around them), the bride “not liking” your partner is not a legitimate excuse to be rude. This bride is not your friend and has not shown any courtesy or respect towards you and your loved ones that she expects in return. Tell her immediately you will no longer be her maid of honor, nor will you be attending her wedding. Then let the friendship fade away.

The bride is actually obligated to invite your spouse to the wedding, and it's incredibly rude for her not to. Very disrespectful of your relationship.

I would drop out of the wedding and decline the invitation, personally.

Bride is being very rude and petty….but does your partner even want to go with you? If not, then I would consider staying as MoH. If your partner wants to go, I would ask the bride to reconsider. If she won’t allow your partner to attend, I would do as everyone else has suggested and decline the MoH role. I am sorry you have been forced into this situation.