Polite way to say your baby is not welcome

@MLC: Actually, you said it yourself. If having a baby cry at your wedding would have you running for a vasectomy, that's telling you everything you need to know.

You gave the "low blow" yourself.

Also, expecting people to leave their babies, infants still breastfeeding, and making ignorant comments about such, IS making comments about parenting.

Also, why is it you decided to single out MY post to respond to, when multiple others said the same thing, well before I did?

Oh, and I didn't get into your uterus, you stuck it in everyone's face along with your FH's nuts when you made the vasectomy comment.

Again though, kittens are pretty independent at 5 months, so you should have no issues.

Honestly I don't think it's rude to not make exception for newborns. It's one of my worst nightmares for a baby to start crying during our ceremony. Just say you can't make the exception and be understanding if they can't make it.

We are doing the same thing.

OG Alecia, thank you for your comments. I have to say I have always loved your icon photo, and I'm a fan of Scarlett. I don't think it would cause disruption. His cousin is also someone who didn't even have enough food for his guests. Half of them including FH and his family didn't even eat. They still feel resentment. We don't owe him anything.

One of your worst nightmares is for a baby to cry during your ceremony? Seriously?

Wow so lurking really does help!

Also, why is that your worst nightmare MCTB? It's a baby, they cry, they sleep, they poop, they puke then they grow up. It's not a world ender or moment ruined if a baby cries.

I feel really sorry for you if your worst nightmare is a baby crying during your ceremony.

This post makes my blood boil. I have an 8mo old and if I had a "friend" or family member tell me that my breastfeeding infant wasn't allowed, not only would I not be attending your wedding, but our relationship would be over. You're essentially telling people to choose between their kids and your "special day"...and you'll lose. You say that if they don't want to be your friend anymore because you want to have the day you always dreamed of, then you're not really giving them any other option. I have 2 friends that are going to have babies by my wedding in November and while it's a child free wedding (besides our own), those kids that are dependent, ie nursing, are absolutely invited. They're just going to sleep anyway. And if they cry, who the fuck cares? It's a baby. It's life. Once you invite people, the day isn't just about you anymore.

I think it's selfish af.

Sass, I don't use derogatory words because while I don't like decisions others make, I don't call them names, but on the contrary I have been called them. I don't like to call women names even if I do not agree with them.

Jesus Christ, MNA, as I said that comment was a joke at my attempt for humor on this post. Good God.

Bahahha I think another user would disagree. But you won't bait me into a strike by repeating it. You have been the most judgmental user on this entire site and your disdain for friends and family ceases to surprise me now.

I don't want to see a bam from you. I want a "here's how many friends we have left" update.

OG Alecia, I feel since it's FH's cousin he needs to be the one to say it. I don't want his FMIL involved with our decision making but I'm happy our parents stand by our wishes.

OGA- I think once the baby is no longer solely dependent on mom. When they start eating outside foods or when they are mobile would be my guess.

Don't apologize OG Alecia. It's been nice commenting with you. It's not the first time someone was glad a question I asked was asked, but happy it wasn't them who asked. But I agree with you completely. Parents are not entitled to things just because became parents and had kids and a baby.

OG I would say a 8 months to a year? Not sure if there is a set age, but to me that seems fair. By that point bonding is secure, parents have worked through latching issues, their milk cycle is established. The babies are likely on other food sources.

Yep. Really. I know it's an unpopular opinion but I just don't like kids or babies. Luckily no one I know has a newborn or will have one. Like I said I absolutely wouldn't care if someone declined, but to say you would end the friendship is really extreme.

Funny, Sass. I even commented on your BAM thread how beautiful you looked, but okay whatever. Don't be happy for me because I'm getting married even if you dislike me.

OGA I'm not a mom yet, but am expecting so can only go off of what I think I'll feel right now. I can't see myself being comfortable leaving the baby overnight for probably 4-6 months due to both breastfeeding and just being a new mom who doesn't want to leave the baby for an extended period if time. If the guests are local and could find a trustworthy sitter, I'd say 2-3 months. We're leaving our daughter with my MIL for both weddings we're attending this summer. She'll be 2 months and 4 months at the times of the weddings. I wouldn't want to leave her with anyone but my MIL though.

@OGA: I would say at the point where being away from baby isn't going to destroy milk supply, where baby is starting to take fewer feedings anyway, maybe 12 months or so?

A breastfed baby should be getting ALL of their actual nutrition from breast milk until 12 months. Table food before that point is considered supplemental, but should never replace feedings. Babies also go through multiple growth spurts through that time and will start cluster feeding, where they actually shouldn't be away from mom because they need the extra nutrition.

By a year, milk supply is generally steady, baby isn't getting all of their nutrition strictly from mom, and they should be able to be supplemented with cow's milk and table food while mom is away. Before then? Yeah, pumped milk can work, but a lot of babies won't take bottles if they're breastfed, and it is generally discouraged to provide it in a sippy cup, because that's usually a better way to offer drinks like water, without the baby thinking that they no longer have to do the work of nursing (which is more effort than drinking from a sippy cup).

I agree with you MrsCoakley. That's how FH feels. He is more adamant than me about keeping the wedding kid and baby free. And that's a stupid reason to end a relationship over. Just because we gave notice way in advance that you would have to part from your baby/kid for a few hours? Guess they wouldn't be people we wish to associate with anymore either then.

This really isn't an entitlement issue.

This baby will be about 5 months old at the time of your wedding. It's a necessity to eat to sustain life. I don't think anyone's looking for special treatment

@MLC: Sure it was. Most people don't consider vasectomies humorous, but then, most people also have more regard for their guests in general than you do, so there's that as well.

I agree with @Sass on the "BAM."