Polite way to say your baby is not welcome

I'm having an adult only wedding ( ceremony start time of 6:15 and the reception will end at 11) but with that said if somebody had a newborn I would be totally fine with it. As others have pointed out the bonding in those early weeks and months are so important and a baby will not disrupt your wedding. At the end of the day are you really going to remember a fussy baby or that fact that you got married to the person you chose.

Sounds like you've already told them it's kid free. You don't need to remind them.

Have a plan if they show up with a kid. Be ready to either accept that there will be a child at your wedding or be prepared to turn them away.

MNA, not like I'd want anyone being nasty to me to see one of the most intimate moments of my life. I also don't need to seek attention from an online community with a BAM post.

As a mother of two children this thread is sad. I can't expect someone with no children to relate to how I feel as a mother but to say that a newborn or a baby would "ruin" your wedding. You have lost your damn mind . The baby could give a rats ass about your wedding. That baby isn't hurting anyone period. I wish a bitch would tell me my baby " ruined" their wedding. I mean really and if the baby did cry so fucking what. So your going to be mad at a baby ?!

And to add: if the mother is breastfeeding she could pop out a boob so fast no one would even notice the baby getting upset but hey you might get offended by that to.

Parting from my baby for a few hours and parting from my baby for a few hours who I left with a stranger you picked out for me are two completely different things. I said before, I'm leaving my baby for a few hours to attend weddings this summer. The difference is I'm leaving her with my MIL who I trust. I also plan to pump so I have bottles for the baby in the fridge for while we're gone but not every mom plans to have the same feeding plan.

OG Alecia, looks like we're getting married 1 day apart. I hope everything goes well for you.

FutureMrsGonzalez, people don't get mad at crying screaming baby. They get mad at the parents who ignored their wishes to have a kid-free wedding and let their kid cry the whole damn time.

@OHP totally agree. Most parents would just be like aw bummer and decline if they're exclusively breastfeeding. None of my friends would "end the friendship" over it. That's totally ridiculous.

OG Kristen, we are only trying to be helpful. We don't know if they wish to have someone come with them to help with the baby and stay at the hotel, but the helpers would not be invited.

I'm also have an adults only wedding. As of right now I don't have anyone that will be in this situation, but that can obviously change in the next year. I can kind of see where op is coming from, but only in the aspect that I can't make an exception for one and tell everyone else why I made that exception. There will be a lot of kids in my family that won't be coming to my wedding, and my family is petty as fuck. They literally will not care if it's an infant, they'll want to know why their 8 year old couldn't come but that damn baby could. So that's why I kind of understand here. But, I also would completely understand if someone had to decline for this reason. If they're coming from oot with an infant, I'd be more than understanding if they didn't want to make that trek.

@MLC: Actually, I think you should reverse that statement. Why would anyone being treated nastily want to see your wedding? That's a much more accurate representation of this situation.

If you didn't need to seek attention, you wouldn't interject shit stirring behavior every chance you get.

Try again, perhaps being honest this time.

OHP, we are fine if people don't want to leave their kids/baby as they attend a wedding. FH and I, and my family strongly feel that weddings are not a place for kids and babies. When my parents got married kids were crying, when my friend got married in September the kids were rowdy and bad, etc etc. We just do not want them there.

This thread has taught me that my fears of disaster striking at my wedding (i.e., a fire breaking out, an earthquake, a violent thunderstorm, car accident to/from the venue, injuries/death somehow happening to myself, FH, or our guests) are irrational compared to the tears of children.

MNA, I think you should take a piece of that shit stirring since you keep provoking me no matter what I post whether its a post of my own or someone else.

I've been trying to stay away from this since your last charming thread is the reason I got my first warning but oh well.

There is no polite way to tell a mother that her newborn needs to travel with her and then stay with a random ass stranger because your happiness is more important than the comfortability of your loved one that is a new mom. I work with infants for a living and they do not like change. It throws off their eating and sleeping schedules. Infants (which are babies that are 12 months and younger) need their mothers or someone that they are very familiar with.

@OHP: If someone is so important to you that you're inviting them to your wedding, it should generally be assumed that for one, you actually want them there, and for two, you know if they have or will have a small infant and whether or not they are breastfeeding.

While it is one thing to leave a formula fed 3-month old at home with a sitter and go to a wedding, that is something a breastfeeding mother cannot do.

The cries of a breastfed baby stimulate milk production, which can take 6-8 months to fully establish. The act of nursing also encourages milk production. Babies that age NEED to be fed ON DEMAND, not just for the baby's growth and comfort, but to maintain the mother's milk supply. If a mother is used to feeding every 1.5-2 hours, and they are expected to go 4-6 hours without feeding for your wedding, not only are they going to end up engorged and in a lot of pain, but their body will dramatically cut production, which may not be able to be recovered. It is literally telling the mother to choose between being able to feed her child, and attending your wedding, and that you feel your wedding is more important than her feeding her child, when you don't offer that exception.

What SOME posters don't get here is that it is EXTREMELY common for women who are breastfeeding to end up no longer ABLE to breastfeed when they return to work too early, before milk supply is well established. Pumping does not maintain the milk supply as well as nursing, and it frequently will diminish and dry up a month or two after the woman returns to work. This can be particularly detrimental to a baby who refuses to take a bottle, and can lead to a whole host of other issues.

It is rude af to put a nursing mother in the position to have to choose between being able to feed her child, and your party, and yes, if someone told me that I needed to choose between my child and their party, I would absolutely sever that relationship. Someone who is okay with doing that to my child so I can be at their wedding, is not someone I need or want in my life.

There really is just no polite way to say "your baby is not welcome." Imagine if somebody said that to you? You've explained it's a child free wedding, if you need to remind them say "I understand you'll have a 5 month old by October, but we're not able to accommodate any children. We understand if you're unable to come." I still personally think it's incredibly rude and HATE the "it's our day attitude," but that is your "nicest" (read: least rude, but still rude) option in a nutshell.

I think it's not so much about the fact that kids aren't invited, it's that you won't allow a newborn or an infant. At 8mo, I could totally leave my daughter with my mom for a wedding, no problem. But a newborn, no way. If you're a good friend of mine, I absolutely want to be at your wedding but if you say "no sorry, you're welcome to come but keep that crying baby of yours at home", then that's where I have an issue.

I completely understand not wanting to allow some kids but then allow others, but I feel like newborns/infants/those still exclusively breastfeeding, should receive an exception.

Also, I would never leave my kid with a stranger. Idc how reputable they are. I don't know them and you're suggesting I leave the most precious and important thing in the world to me with a stranger. No fucking way

OP, Do you want these people at your wedding? If not, that's okay. But it sounds like you're using the infant as an excuse to keep them from coming!

@MLC: Provoke you? No, you just don't like it when people point out the poor logic of your statements, you behave poorly, and then lash out at people because you are just SURE you know it all.

You can keep the whole shit stirrer, you've got it totally covered.