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Madison
Dedicated October 2021

Post Wedding Brunch

Madison, on July 9, 2021 at 7:19 PM Posted in Parties and Events 2 20

So I'm planning on doing a very informal non-hosted post wedding brunch. Basically a "the newlyweds are going to go here for brunch at this time, join us if you'd like to!" kind of situation. I want people to know it's an open invitation, but also that it's not a hosted event and they'd have to pay for themselves. How do I tell people about this? Do I put it on our website? And if so, how do I word it? I don't want to come off as rude or anything.

20 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on July 12, 2021 at 12:33 PM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Since no one is hosting, I would just keep the "invitations" to word of mouth. Once you put it in writing on your website, it looks like an official wedding weekend event and then people will assume that it's hosted (unless you explicitly say that everyone pays for themselves, and it sounds like you don't want to do that).

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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    I agree with PP, generally you would host a post-wedding brunch or any wedding related events. If this is skme to do casually with friends, I agree with word of mouth.
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  • S
    Expert November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I would definitely spread the word via word of mouth and not put it on your website, because then there won't be any confusion about the hosting part

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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    Yeah I feel weird explicitly saying that everyone has to pay for themselves. I don’t want it to come off as rude, but I definitely see how if I put it on the website it could seem as though it’s a hosted event. Thank you!
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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    I’d love to be able to host a post wedding brunch, but we don’t have enough room left in our budget. I definitely want it very casual with friends, but I just worry if people aren’t told and would have liked to come, they’ll be bummed.
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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    Yeah I definitely see how posting it on our website could cause confusion about the hosting part. I just want people to know they’re definitely invited to join us, but it’s a casual and non-hosted thing. I think word of mouth is probably best. Thanks!
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  • Lauren
    Expert July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    Oof this is a difficult situation. Even by word of mouth I feel like it’s an awkward invite. Anytime you invite people to any type of event for your wedding, it should not cost the guest anything. If one of my friends mentioned to me “hey come to brunch tomorrow so we can see you before you go!” I’d assume it was covered.


    Maybe you could just mention to people “if you are looking for somewhere to eat in the morning we recommend ______. We are going to get some food there too” that’s all I got. Good luck!
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I think word of mouth is best here, especially since the number of people who show could be super variable and wherever you go might not be able to accomodate everyone. If you put something on your wedding website, not only might guests assume its hosted/paid for but they may also assume it's a guaranteed spot, which I cannot imagine being the case unless you have a very small wedding guest list and are eating at a huge brunch spot!

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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    I know, it’s such a weird situation. I wish We could afford to host it for everyone, but it’s just not feasible for us. I do like the wording you suggested though! It seems very casual but still nice and inviting!
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    Kari made a good point about space/seating. I think you may be better off just opting out of this - it sounds pretty burdensome for guests.
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  • Melanie
    Savvy April 2020
    Melanie ·
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    Is this the day after the wedding or immediately after to replace a reception?
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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    Word of mouth is definitely best, but make sure you have other people help spread the word. My sister relied on her now husband spreading the word and half the people she wanted there didn't ever hear about it, including most of my family.

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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    Hi! It’s the day after the wedding. Basically I know that future husband and I are gonna be going to brunch somewhere the morning after the wedding, so I just thought it’d be nice to extend an invitation to anyone who wanted to join us.
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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    Yeah, I definitely want people to come if they want to/can afford to but I also don’t want people to feel like they have to come. Basically I know that future husband and I and some friends/family will be getting brunch somewhere so I figured it would be nice to extend the invitation. I don’t want people feeling bummed like we purposely didn’t invite them, but I also don’t want people to feel like it’s a mandatory wedding event. If that makes sense
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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    After reading everyone's responses, I think word of mouth is probably best to avoid any confusion. Our wedding is in NYC so I know there are tons of pretty large brunch spots, but you make a good point about a guaranteed spot! I don't want people to feel like they have to come, I just don't want anyone feeling left out if they wanted to come but weren't aware of it. I do know that a decent portion of our guest list probably won't even want to come (due to a variety of different reasons) but I still thought it's nice to at least extend the invitation.

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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    I definitely do not want this to be burdensome for guests! Which is why I don't want to make it seem like it's a "wedding event", and keep it very informal and casual. I just don't want people who would have liked to come, but didn't get told about it, to feel left out. Regardless of if we extend the invite to guests or not, I know future husband and I will be getting brunch somewhere which is why I just thought it would be nice to mention "hey we are going to get brunch here if anyone would like to join"

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  • C
    Savvy September 2021
    C ·
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    We're doing the same, but need to invite folks ahead of time since we are doing a destination wedding.

    We're inviting folks to join us if they are still in town and have put on the invite that it'll be "bring your own". Since our brunch location is also known for hiking, we're also encouraging guests to bring a pair of hiking shoes if they want to get out and enjoy a bit of nature as well.

    Hopefully yours works out exactly as you want!

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  • Madison
    Dedicated October 2021
    Madison ·
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    Mine is technically a destination wedding too! It’s a 4hr drive for about 70% of our guest list and a 5 hr flight for 30%. So I know some people will want to get on the road early and head home and some will have flights to catch. But if people want to stay an extra hour for brunch before driving home or if they’re planning to be in town until Sunday night or Monday, I’d like to at least offer them the option of joining us! I just don’t want to sound rude or make anyone feel obligated to come.


    Your brunch destination sounds fun! I hope your wedding goes amazing!
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I agree that word of mouth would work best in your situation

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Could you possibly host a day-after meal you can afford like dim sum? Chinese dim sum platters come out quickly, served family style, and restaurants can seat large groups without reservations fairly often. This can allow variability in guest count, food tastes, and may be more affordable and less daunting to a guest who has a hangover than a $16 french toast (Queens pricing). It's also more casual. Perhaps you can gauge interest from friends.

    In your original scenario, I agree with others that word of mouth is best: "hey, we may meet up at (restaurant) for brunch. Let (friend) know if you're able". Then let your friend provide the details about how to Venmo (or other cost splitting). Best wishes.

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