Hi everyone (long post warning)
TL;DR For those not wanting details, I can’t seem to get past wedding day regrets and can’t get over grooms parents being jerks.
Let me start by saying my wedding day was great, I married my best friend, he is amazing and we were surrounded by so many people who have loved and supported our entire relationship. We had a few hiccups of course as all do, my dad showed his butt regarding pictures a bit.. my maid of honor forgot my husbands ring (which was actually pretty funny and a cute memory). Over all though, good day. With that said there were people there who have been less than supportive, primarily his parents. We’ve been together almost 7 years (5 years when he proposed). They have never really put forth the effort to get to know me, while every time we go to see them (we live only 30 minutes away) I try to be as helpful as I can, helping with dinner setting the table, cleaning up, and trying to get to know them, etc.
Now to set the scene:
the first time we saw his parents after getting engaged was his sisters birthday (a few days after he proposed) his mother told him not to bring up our engagement because it was his sisters day, I didn’t find out about her saying this until much later, but needless to say they didn’t bring up our engagement the whole dinner. No congratulations, no nothing and I was very so hurt by this. The whole year we were engaged was horrible. Every time I tried to include his mom, she would make up a reason to not join in but then would complain that she wasn’t being included.
Now let me say, we weren’t perfect, my husband didn’t tell his parents about our engagement in the best way and I didn’t ask his sister to be a bridesmaid because I am one of six. I have 4 brothers, (3 are step) and a step sister. If I couldn’t include everyone in the bridal party I wasn’t going to include anyone because I’m not going to favor his family over mine nor mine over his.
Then planning the rehearsal dinner happened and it was a nightmare. They didn’t want to included my step siblings because “they aren’t real family” I told them I wasn’t picky about food or location, I just didn’t want it at this one specific place..guess where it ended up being... I was in the car when his dad called and said my step family couldn’t come because they weren’t “real family”. The fact that they could even say this or feel this way was astounding because all they ever preach is how important family is. Mine may not look the same as a typical family but it is my family and it’s dope.
At the wedding they acted happy and whatnot and immediately following the wedding his parents are all nice and sweet and excited to see him and me which kind of through us both off considering now they had acted before.
But it has now been almost 4 months and i still have a difficult time being around them. I want a good relationship with them and any future children we may have but Im having a hard time getting over how they acted. I also have been having a hard time dealing with regrets, pictures with family I forgot to get, or didn’t due to miscommunication, concerned I didn’t greet guests enough and they feel slighted, worried I didn’t spend enough time with my grandparents, among other things so much sometimes I have trouble sleeping. I just want to be able to put all this behind me and move on with our lives.
Help?
