Postponed..again

Here I am postponing my wedding for a 3rd time, and feeling really discouraged and less excited about the whole thing. We got engaged summer of 2019, planned and have paid for a wedding that was supposed to be August of 2020, postponed to October of 2020 in hopes that things would be open by then (a little naive on our part looking back) and then again for June 2021, and have recently had our flights canceled. Our wedding is overseas where I was born and raised so getting there requires borders being open which won’t be happening by June, we are postponing again for August 2021 in hopes things are a little more stable with vaccines rolling out and airlines hiring again. For those wondering and before anyone suggests it, we’ve been told multiple times we can’t get a refund on the fully paid for wedding which is why we haven’t just canceled, we can’t afford another wedding here or anywhere else since everything’s paid for. I’m at the point where I’m just disappointed and not even excited anymore, my wedding dress feels like it’s mocking me in my closet at this point. We’ve also had a lot of negativity by family choosing to have the wedding overseas, even by my family because it’s not what *they* want but we are also paying for the wedding on our own, so I think between all the postponement and negativity I’m just down in the dumps about it all. By the chance we don’t get married where everything’s been planned and paid for by August we’ll just say forget it, and let go of all that money and just sign papers in a court house which isn’t ideal, especially when you’ve planned, paid for and gotten the image in your head of how your dream wedding would be. Anyone else going through something similar(which I’m assuming a lot of Covid brides are.. ) ? What a bad couple years to try and get married.