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Alyssa
Just Said Yes October 2023

Postpone/vent/advice

Alyssa, on January 19, 2022 at 1:41 PM Posted in Planning 0 6
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Hi everyone
I just wanted to sort of vent/get advice, I don't really have anyone to talk to about wedding stuff. To start off, I'm supposed to get married this October. It was going to be last October but we moved it out because of covid, I and my dad both have heart problems so I really just don't want to have to spend the wedding worrying about getting sick.
With how omicron is looking, I don't know if it'll be safe by October. I know if we're going to postpone again, we need to do it sooner rather than later for the venue and photographers and all. I sort of have three options:- I have the wedding this year and risk getting sick- I elope this year and risk regretting it- I have the wedding next year and it's normal but I have to deal with family conflictsIf we have a wedding, we aren't planning on more than 40 people either way. If we elope, I'm scared about my family getting upset and about looking back and wishing we had a wedding. Also, our videographer said they need at least 4 hours of footage to work with us and idk if we could get that eloping. If we have a wedding next year, to make a long story short my family was abusive growing up and most of them are not great or have issues going on that I would have to try to manage during the wedding, and I don't have any friends to come, so I don't know if having a wedding would remind me that I am alone. My fiance has lots of people who could come and they're good people, but I feel like it would be sort of sad knowing there's no one there for me. I don't know, we got engaged right before covid hit and then I didn't get to enjoy being engaged at all, and I haven't had anyone to celebrate anything with and I just don't know what to do.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on January 20, 2022 at 3:12 PM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I think, based from the information you’ve given, if I were in your shoes I would elope or have a destination microwedding with only parents and closest friends. It doesn’t sound as though you are enjoying the idea of having a full on wedding, with all the family drama and you not having many family members/friends to attend for you. If you were to elope or have a micro wedding, you can invite only those closest to you and avoid all the drama and feelings of aloneness. Plus, your money will go a lot further with only the two of you or a very small amount of guests. Also, keep in mind there is no guarantee your wedding will be “normal” next year even if you do postpone it. I am definitely living proof of that! We postponed our 2020 wedding to 2021, thinking for sure things would be back to normal. But obviously that wasn’t true. We have now postponed from 2021 to 2022, and who knows if we will even be able to carry on with our wedding as planned this year either.
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  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
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    I think it’s too soon to postpone an October wedding, especially since you already postponed once. 40 guests is a great amount of people for a Covid safe wedding. Maybe You could ask your guests to get tested before attending?
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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    Would requiring vaccinations for all guests and vendor staff make you feel any better? You could always require masks and testing as well if you want to continue on with the wedding. We will be requiring vaccination (at least) for our March 2023 wedding. Some family members of my husband are not vaxxed and dont plan on being but unless this is completely gone by the time we have our wedding they just have to make the choice of whether they care about their family enough to protect them or not

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Would it be possible to have your vendors put a soft hold on a backup date for you? It's too soon to know how October will be, so I would keep planning for your wedding this year, but this way, you'll have a backup option already in place if you decide to postpone later. Or, you could proceed with your wedding in October, and implement a few precautions: ask everyone to get tested beforehand, require masks, put hand sanitizer at every table, seat people only with their families and those who they regularly socialize with, limit your guest limit to 50% of venue capacity (though 40 people already seems to be a good limit for a wedding during COVID), etc.
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated October 2021
    Jessica ·
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    I don’t think we’re going to live in a post-Covid world, I think we’ll be living with Covid forever. I would base your decision on whether you want to have a wedding at all, less about Covid. We could easily be dealing with a new strain in 2023.


    My husband was in your shoes at our wedding. We had 63 guests and 6 were there for him. Luckily he loves my family and friends and was actually super excited for the wedding (having a larger celebration was important to me). I worried he would feel weird about it on the day, but he didn’t and I don’t think it “looked” weird at all. I would speak with your fiancé and see how he feels about eloping vs a reception and think about how you really feel about it before making any final decisions.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Kristen ·
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    What my husband and I are doing is a Zoom wedding (we only invited immediate family to attend in person…which ended up being about 25 with spouses and kids) and are doing an anniversary reception (in July this year, outdoors and then dinner in an open air barn). That way everyone could watch the ceremony if they wanted, and then can still celebrate with us (I chose the reception date based on historical trends from the 1918 flu pandemic…it took about 2.5-3 years for it to burn through the US after likely originating here, so summer/fall 2022 should see a drastic waning if it follows historical trends). I know loads of couples are doing an anniversary reception a year or more after when they got married.


    As for your concern about an awkward lopsided guest list, don’t sweat it. My best friend had far fewer guests than her husband (he is from a much larger family and had a massive group of friends), but we all still had a blast, and her husband’s friends and family made a point of mingling and getting to know everyone on the bride’s side. Have some ice breakers planned to get the conversation going between the groups, and you’ll be fine.
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