Pot Luck Reception

Hello,
Adding my two cents. Do what works for you. I know people who have done a potluck reception and it was amazing. They actually had too much food.
If you know your crowd and are comfortable, do it!! We all have opinions and they are all different but at the end of the day you have to do what is in your budget and makes you happy. Don't go broke trying to please others. It is all about you!!

Providing all food and drinks is the responsibility of the hosts. It isn't the responsibility of the guests to work or pay for any part of someone else's wedding, which is essentially what you are asking them to do by asking them to pay for and make the food for a potluck. They will be involved in the wedding simply by attending, they don't need to be given a job to be involved.

Instead of a potluck; why not cater from a local restaurant. A simple and affordable meal. We are having a very small ceremony so we are just ordering a simple family style meal from a local restaurant. I’m sure some restaurants would have good deals.

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I agree, I feel this will add stress to your big day. Best to try to find someone affordable to cater your event.

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You literally asked for opinions AND said you were thinking of this to cut costs. To now come back and say it's not about money but about "including everyone in your day" is pretty disingenuous.

The perfect way to include everyone in your day is to invite them to your wedding and provide them with food and drink. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it should be something guests don't need to plan ahead for or worry about (and worries include those about food safety and the cleanliness of other guests' kitchens).

If this is truly a very common to "host" parties in your area then why are you asking random strangers on the internet for opinions?

I love potlucks. I used to organize one monthly.


There is a time, place, and social circle for potlucks. A wedding is not such a place. A global pandemic is not such a time.
You're asking guests to labor for your wedding. That's not appropriate. Even though you have a kitchen, who would keep the food warm? Self catering is a huge liability as it is, but the multiple touch points of a potluck buffet amplifies to food safety concerns.
I would do a microwedding at a public park, and have a restaurant meal as your reception if cost is a big factor.

I used to think a potluck picnic style wedding was a great idea - everyone would bring food and blankets and you'd stream music through some speakers and it would be inexpensive and a lot of fun. At the time I was in grad school for environment studies with a bunch of hippie types and we did potlucks all the time for everything - people even brought their own plates and utensils which made hosting and clean up really easy. My circle of people were very used to this idea.

However, realistically potlucks only work if all of your guests are local. People traveling from out of town generally don't have a kitchen to make food in and don't necessarily know where to shop to pick up a pre-prepared dish. They need to coordinate their flights, rental cars, accommodations, driving, packing, etc and shouldn't need to worry about bringing a dish on top of all that. Plus well done potlucks take planning to ensure there is an adequate variety of food, all dietary restrictions are met, and allergens are well labeled. There is also a largely increased risk with self-catered when it comes to possible food contamination, people getting sick (whether from hidden allergens, improperly prepared food, or unsanitary food preparation and serving situations), and particularly now with Covid-19, I think these risks are even less worth taking.

If you are having a really casual, small, intimate backyard wedding with predominantly super local guests and it is limited to close family and friends you know well, then I think a potluck could be really nice. However, I don't feel like a potluck is appropriate for most wedding situations. Unless your wedding crowd and atmosphere is intended to be like a backyard BBQ (or slightly upscale version of one), I would go with catering.

Many of your guests, especially older, will see it in bad form and not participate There's really no way to prepare and keep food safely warm or cold if people are in hotels. Many venues do not allow outside food for health/safety reasons. If you can't afford a full meal, either ask a restaurant to cater or have desserts only and skip alcohol.

I'm sorry people are so judgy...I get the same thing when I say we are self catering our 160 guest dinner.

I think depending on the size of the reception it could definitely work. I have been to several wedding that had a pot luck style reception for a small crowd...(I think there was at most 40 people at the ones I have been to.) I love the idea of the recipe book. This is one of those know your crowd situations.

One other thing...there tends to be a lot of one kind of thing and not much of others at potlucks. So maybe if you go that route just limit it to bring a side dish and you provide the meat or bring a dessert and you provide the meat and sides...

Good luck!

If you really want to go this route; then why not make 2/3 main dishes and ask a select few local/family guests to make specific side dishes? There won't be doubles and everyone knows what they are providing. You should also buy all of the ingredients and drop them off for each cook. This way you are not putting the cost on your guest. The costs will be minimized and the amount of food can be controlled.
It would also be nice to provide a small token of appreciation to those who are cooking; flowers, wine, olive oil...

Hey girl, I’m from the rural south and very familiar with potlucks. But not for a wedding, and I wouldn’t do it for my own.


However if that’s really what you want to do, I think there is a way you can achieve it without asking every guest to contribute. I agree with Samantha above, ask 2 to 3 close family members to cook, and not everyone that is supposed to be enjoying your wedding. Or you could ask certain people to bring specific things, because you know people will just pick up something from the store on the way to the wedding if they forget.
Sorry people are being rude to you on here, but that’s the Internet for you. I definitely wouldn’t do a potluck for a wedding, but that’s just me.

I agree with everyone's comments and concerns of health and safety of doing a potluck in this new COVID normal. I would also say that food is very important to guests and a very important part of the experience. I would suggest looking into unique catering ideas that won't break the bank like tacos, brunch, bbq are just a couple ideas. Maybe do your own alcohol and drinks instead to save cost there.

Hello. Make them rsvp the food they will bring. You write a list of food you want and ask everyone to tell you what they can and can not bring. Have enough time just in case that don’t goes as planned. I’m with your future mother in law I just don’t want to take that risk. While food is a big part of a union.

How about buffet?

Hi! We were hoping to save money with the catering as well, and opted for a food truck. The food is amazing (we go to the restaurant often), it will be fun, fresh, and we are confident people will love it. Total cost to feed 200 people was only about $1k.

I think a potluck would be extremely intimate for a smaller wedding. It would allow everyone to feel a part of your wedding and frankly I just think it’s a sweet idea! Don’t let anyone else weigh your decision. Ask a few of your guests how they feel and if everyone seems on board; I’d go for it!

No i have not ever heard of that. This is the first time of hearing something lime that but. I feel if you and your future husband are comfortable with it go for it best of luck and wishes to the both if you

Where I am from, potluck weddings are not a thing. Moreover, I'm from a hot spot for COVID, and I simply would not attend a wedding wherein non-licensed entities were preparing food.

Honestly, in terms of safety... this just won't work. Maybe in 2 years, maybe last year, but this year? It's just far, far, far too risky.

I'm sorry.

View Quoted Comment I don't think people are trying to be harsh.. in your original post you mentioned that you were trying to cut costs, not that potlucks were normal or you wanted to include everyone in your day. I think you can find other ways to include your guests in your day but I think you all could focus more on just enjoying the day and not have to worry about if guests will bring enough or eat. With covid , I think that may make people cautious. Just something to think about it. I do think the recipe idea is a good idea! This was used for my bridal shower. Maybe you can still have guests bring a recipe and maybe have some guests contribute to desserts vs having all guests contribute to dinner ☺️

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