Pot Luck Reception

Potluck no. If you are asking Family to make something for you that's fine and you offset by having a few catered items but not your guest.

There are less expensive ways :

Do BBQ, Mexican, Italian food

Do stations- (have 2-4 tables set up with different foods) This way it's easier if you are asking family to help.e.g. Your mom and sister takes 1 table, Aunt and cousin helps supply for another table etc.

Taco bar- beef, chicken, veggie, with chips,dips etc.

Salad Bar- potato salad, macaroni salad, 1-2 type of lettuce (assorted fixings very inexpensive)

Sandwich bar- assorted sandwiches, wraps (tuna,chicken salad, deli meats, Pb&j if having kids etc.)

Burger bar

Hot dog station

Pasta Bar- 1-2 kinds of pasta with 1-2 types of sauces and maybe meatballs.

Look into your local restaurants for specials

I'm not sure where you live but pre-covid I went to a rehearsal dinner in Richmond Virginia where they got fried chicken from Krogers, fruit platters, cupcakes and sides as well from sams club, and it wasn't expensive. I was pleasantly surprised since I'm a NY'er and we don't have those stores I'm also an avid cook but the food tasted well. There are in expensive ideas but it takes some work.

Hope this helps! Good luck on your wedding and I wish you the best. fell free to PM me if you need anymore ideas

With everything going on, I wouldn’t be comfortable with this as a guest. Buffets or Family Style serving should be avoided right now.

I’ve attended a semi pot luck wedding and I left to get food after about an hr. All guests weren’t asked to bring something, but I guess some were. They literally had finger foods, beans and weenies, sandwiches made on white bread, chips and dip, fruit and veggie tray, and some chips and salsa for cocktail hr. All I ate was the fruit and veggies that came premade from the grocery store. This was all served at a meal time too so I was really hungry.
It was an extremely Informal wedding in a barn with a dirt floor and no indoor restroom.
I think the recipe card idea is so cute! That’s what my sister did for my shower. So maybe incorporate it there. Your reception is that thank you guests for attending and it’s your responsibility as host to serve food and drink. It could be snacks and cake at a nonmeal time or a full meal. But, you should be providing something. Also, you want to be as carefree as possible on your wedding day and worry g about food will not keep you carefree. I was so care and worry free on my wedding day I had NO idea what time is was all day long. I forgot my phone in the car which at first I was upset about, but I was able to be in the moment and have fun with my husband, friends and family while other people worried about my day going smoothly and staying on schedule. I just wanted to give my opinion as a guest at a potluck wedding. Potlucks have a place such as holiday meals, summer cookouts, or just social gatherings. To me a wedding is not such a place. And the end of the day you’ll do what you want and what you think is best though. If you are worried about reasonable catering, keep look and look at all different options. I live in a high cost of living area and we had carved turkey and pork roast with a mashed potato bar for less than $25 a person. Reasonable stuff is out there so don’t give up. Good luck!

If you do end up having a potluck reception, what would you be providing your guests? Would you be handling wedding cake and desserts or is that part of the potluck? Will you be providing an open bar? Or is it BYOB?


I’ve been to bridal shower potlucks where the bridal party each contributed a dish they bought from a restaurant or had catered. I’ve also been to Friendsgiving and Friendsmas potlucks, but not a wedding.
As someone who attends quite a bit of out-of-town weddings, I would find this a bit of an inconvenience as a guest. Even locally, I would find this inconvenient— my husband and I barely have time to cook for ourselves so to cook a dish for a potluck or have to pick one up before a wedding just isn’t ideal for us.

I am with everyone else, it doesn’t sit well for me to ask my guests to bring food. I would rather hold a short and casual reception between meal hours and do appetizers and snacks. Simple and cheaper catering would be another option like even sandwiches or something.

I think this is a know your crowd type of thing. If it’s small and intimate you can get away with it.


I went to a wedding reception a little over a year ago. They had a local pizza place cater it. Honestly it was probably some of the best food I had at a wedding reception.

I saw a bride here do a pizza bar for her wedding. I thought that was a great idea!

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I totally agree with Hannah, A recipe book is a great idea, but maybe more appropriate for a shower. You're totally right that potlucks are common and not at all a big deal, but they aren't that typical for weddings. You're generally using the reception as an opportunity to thank your guests for taking the time (and often the money, if they're traveling or taking time off work) to attend your wedding so a meal is expected when it might not be for a block party or reunion. I think a pitch in might work best another time, but I do think some of the comments are overly harsh and could have been phrased more sensitively.

Please don't do that. It's not appropriate. The point of the reception is to thank your guests for coming, which you do by providing them with appropriate food and drink. It's rude to ask them to supply their own thank you.

And yes, I have been to a pot luck wedding reception. It sucked.

View Quoted Comment Is a Wedding even about the couple, or is about the guest? Because what I’m getting from everyone is that it’s more for the guest to be honored than for the bride and groom to have what they want... 🤔

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You don't seem to understand what a reception is. It's not a party thrown in your honor, where you can demand the guests bring you things like handwritten recipe cards. You and your FI are the hosts, and you are receiving your guests (hence the name) and thanking them for taking the time and effort to attend your event (ceremony, usually) by providing them with food and drink appropriate to the time of day. If you can't afford to host a meal, do it at a non-meal time, like 2-5 pm or after 8 pm. But the people hosting the event are responsible for providing the refreshments, and it is incredibly inappropriate to foist that responsibility off on the very people being thanked (the guests).

People want to be included by being invited to your wedding, not by being asked to work it or spend money on food to prepare for other people. That's not how you include people in your wedding day.

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The ceremony is about the couple; the reception is to thank the guests for coming to the ceremony. Even at the ceremony, though, if you invite guests you need to keep their comfort in mind when planning. If you want to only think of yourself and your fiancé in your planning, elope. Once you invite guests you become a host and have responsibilities as a host to treat your guests well. (Note: 'well' doesn't have to mean expensive.)

I would not ask people to participate in a pot luck for a wedding. Find other places to cut costs, yours guests will be buying you gifts plus some of them will have participated in shower for you with gifts. I think it is to much to ask them to bring a dish to pass.

View Quoted Comment I don’t believe we’re having a shower, and I was going to ask that they bring a dish and recipe instead of a gift.

View Quoted Comment There should never be an assumption that gifts will be given. That being said, your guests will most likely do both negating the idea of food in lieu of gifts.
Everyone understands that you are decided; they are trying to help you see your guests POV and that of your future in law. Essential, your guests are being asked to pay for the privilege of attending your wedding.
Potluck is a non hosted fare that is a gathering of people for a general event such as the 4th of July; which everyone is celebrating already. A wedding is an event which asks people to take personal time to attend, unlike a holiday like Thanksgiving. There are many suggestions put forth for your event. Please consider them. We all wish you a wonderful day.

I’m not a fan of potlucks and never eat anything when they have them at work (I always purchase something from a store or a restaurant, simply to participate). So, if I knew that a wedding meal was going to be a potluck, I’d definitely eat ahead of time and not during the reception. Unfortunately, I can’t imagine eating food that various guests brought, who I don’t know.

Not a potluck but you could have a barbecue. I wouldn’t ask people to bring anything because they’ve already given gifts. But you could definitely provide the food that you prepared or have a family member cook for everyone.

Everyone is different and every circle of family and friends is different. I think the proper etiquette is not to do that, but again its your wedding. Maybe take a poll from a few of your guests to see what they say.

Even if your venue has a commercial kitchen, who will be responsible for keeping all the food at the correct temperatures? Someone, probably someone who is a VIP like one of the couple’s mothers or the couple themselves, is going to spend the whole reception in the kitchen making sure the hot dishes are hot enough and the cold dishes are cold enough. A commercial kitchen doesn’t magically do that by itself, it just makes it easier for whoever is doing it. The only way to make it work without either spending your whole reception in the kitchen yourself, or expecting one or more of your guests to do it, would be to hire several people (with the requisite food safety and handling certificates) to look after that for you. If you’re doing that, it might be OK although given the current situation I don’t think I’d be eating any food at an event not prepared by a professional, personally.

Also, some venues may not allow this any way as each individual is not covered by insurance like an actual caterer would be.
I know my venue required using a licensed caterer