Pot Luck Reception

I think if you ask them to bring it in lieu of a gift, then it might not be too bad, but a lot of people might still view it as tacky.

Not sure how I would feel as a guest, when you take the time and effort to go toa wedding, I guess I expect to be fed and watered

Personally, I think it's the tackiest thing you could possibly do for a actual wedding reception. However, many other people have done it.

Just think of a few things... Who is going to organize the food? Guests will arrive 20 minutes before the ceremony, with their food. Then, it sits during the 20 minute ceremony. Then, it sits while you are FH are doing pictures.

Basically, the food would be sitting about an hour and a half before anyone even touches it.

And you'd have to have the wedding at your home or a park. Almost no venue will allow you to do self-catering.

There is a different between cooking the main stuff, and a difference between asking every one to provide everything. We are providing all the main food and sides, but some guests are bringing other things like dips and chips, cookies, what have you!

If it is something that both families are used to and enjoy, then do it! You may have a few people find it being tacky, but as long as the majority of them enjoy it, oh well!

I wouldn't ask people out of town to bring stuff. I got ragged on for wanting to do it, for sanitary reasons. Anyone bringing any food that we know, knows how to prepare it safely and wash their hands! Most of them are cooks anyway and had offered to help out in the first place!

Also, our wedding is at my parents home, so nothing will just sit out! It will be stored properly.

Sorry I have to agree with everyone above. Megan is right on track with the questions about handling the food.

Have a wedding you can afford. If you cannot afford to feed everyone attending then cut down the guest list, not the food! This is the first time you are hosting an event as a couple and you need to be a HOST! I would not attend a pot luck wedding... and my FH is from Kentucky so I know about Southern weddings.

I was at a wedding last fall that did a pig roast. Several of us made sides for the reception and I got there early enough to make sure everything was either put in the fridge until the very last minute or kept hot in the crockpots. I also gave a nice gift. If people want to help out and bring something, there is nothing in the Etiquite books that say it's a no-no. (Even Colin Cowie posted somthing about it in one of his blogs recently) At best, if need be, hire a culinary arts student (or two) from your local community college to be in charge of making sure cold things stay cold and hot things stay hot. (have larger bowls filled with Ice to put the cold salads on) and make sure people bringing things will put them into smaller bowls vs. one large bowl so things can be kept refrigerated if need be and switched out as needed without putting fresh food in a bowl that may have become warm.

Another concern is how are you going to regulate who brings what? You might end up with 14 things of potato salad and nothing else.

Also there is a big sanitation concern. You don't know how other people cook their food. This might not be a big deal for a small party but when you're feeding a bunch of people at a wedding reception you don't want them to end up barfing.

Honestly I really hate the idea of a potluck. Your reception is supposed to be your gift to your guests for taking the time to attend your wedding, and I really think it should be hosted even if that means having an afternoon cake and punch reception or smaller wedding.

It's hard to say. Is money an issue? Do you know if your family members would be insulted if asked to provide food? Will it be in a place where the food can be reheated and kept at its proper temperature.

It's not unheard of, especially in this economy. A reception is pretty much a party, and some families insist on helping out in certain areas. You would know your family and your financial situation best.

Depending on where you live, you can find banquet halls that allow outside catering, but not many do. Search "Dante Club". I had mine at the one in, Fresno, CA. They had no problem with my outside caterer, and the price was very reasonable. Good luck!

You don't need to regulate anything if you provide the main stuff. Some people may like so and so's potato salad, but not the other one. If you end up with a ton of stuff leftover, send it home with your closer family or friends. I wouldn't ask anyone to make a huge vat of whatever they are making. Just enough for maybe 20-30 people. I know even that's a big amount, but not if your guest list is huge! Our is around 65 so far and only expecting 30-40ish. Mainly family as well. And most have already offered to help!

I have seen a few brides on here doing it, but have NEVER heard about it in real life. Personally, I would feel put out to feed someone elses guests. I can't imagine being asked to make a side dish for more than 8 people. Even if the guest list is only 50 ppl, that's a lot of baked ziti, potato salad or what have you. Plus you have no way to make sure your guests are eating quality food. Can't really do a tasting.

The article at this link is the best one I've seen on things to think about with respect to potluck weddings.

We did not have a potluck wedding. But we did have one guest (a professional chef) who asked if it would be ok to bring a cheese platter as his wedding gift to us, and we were happy with that.

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. Something to think about.

Don't get too worked up on tacky and not tacky. It has been brought up for us to have some events pot luck. It is a big part of culture in certain areas-mine included. And tacky really depends on the feel of the event. Although, we have decided against the pot luck, one of my very close friends did it for hers. Ladies from church were her biggest contributors and ended up very happy to be asked. They brought gifts as well. It was alot like a church dinner in the end. In the south a wedding is truely a community affair alot of the time. Hiring someone to organize everything is a great idea.

OH NOOOOO pls dont do that, thats the tackiest thing ever. On your menu have 1 entree, salad, a starch side, and a veggie side.. something affordable.. i can hear people saying "why are they getting married and asking us to bring a fav dish." trust me you dont need anything to upset you on your big day.

I personally don't do the whole pot luck thing. I am from the South and pot lucks are done a lot but I couldn't imagine having one at a wedding reception. Although some guests may offer to help out or cook food, they may not realize what they are getting themselves into. My church used to have pot lucks all of the time and all I can remember is my mom being overly frustrated that a dish didn't turn out well or that it would spill or spoil on the way over. Not to mention, people usually wear their best to a wedding and having to lug enough food to potentially feed 65 people could cause your guest to a lot of stress. Lets face it, stuff happens and what if someone dropped a whole pot of soup or pasta salad and it ruined their dress/outfit. Personally I would be super aggravated. I feel like the guest taking the time to come out and join you on your special day is enough to ask and that it is your responsibility as a couple to make them feel as comfortable and appreciated as possible.

I think potlucks are more suitable for family gatherings (i.e. holidays or cookouts) not a wedding reception. If your on a tight budget you can still bring provide all the food and do it in an affordable way.

I guess things vary by region and culture. I think pot lucks are great for any other occassion other than a gift giving occassion, especially a wedding.

Someone else posted that perhaps, in lieu of gifts, it wouldn't be as "iffy". I think that is really the only way I could think of doing it for a wedding.

I wouldn't call it tacky. However, I would never ask my guests to do that. For a shower? Maybe. But not a wedding reception! If you don't have the money for a full meal, think about doing heavy hor d'ourves or something similar. If you have to ask people to bring something, make it only close family. Not any other guests.

It's a wedding, not a family reunion.

It's your Wedding Woman Do what makes you happy. Who cares if it's out of the norm that's why it's your day you make it what you want. Don't be afraid to be different and if you're on a budget more power to YA!!!! Just make sure everyone who's bringing a dish can actually cook cause if I was to bring a dish everyone would need a restroom HAHAHAHA!!!!

Its only tacky if you make it tacky. We are doing a potluck reception and all of our guests are stoked about it. They are bringing their favorites dish or side, so they get to kind of show off their cooking or baking skills. We are providing nice buffet warmer trays. I have been keeping track of what the guests are bringing so we don't end up with 7 pasta salads, lol. I will make nice labels out of card stock to label all the food.

I think it depends on the formality of your wedding. Would I do it, noooo way. I want a formal elegant affair and a potluck with foil pans would clash with my vision. If you are having a laid back affair, I would say what the heck. Do whatever makes you happy. It's your wedding day and you should be able to celebrate any way you choose.