pot luck wedding

I personally know of no free ceremony places unless it's at someone's house, or a church you are a member of. Most that are free you still have to rent chairs and such which makes it not so free.

There is no free space unless you have 15 people standing in a public park without tables and chairs.

I personally wouldn't do a pot luck.....but if your family is game for it ride on!

I am not sure how I would word that. I guess as earlier said "pot luck dinner and dancing to follow ceremony."

You can invite your guests to share in your wedding with the potluck. something....not sure how it would look on an invite though

I think it's a cute idea, you need some kind of poem.

Screw everyone who says it's tacky, in my region people would love this.

Diane, and I'm only assuming here, but perhaps the reason noone is truly answering her question (howbto word the invitation) is because, no matter how you word it, its rude. Atleast in most of our eyes, even if you're broke & on extremely tight budget that backyard bbq is what you're doing, asking your guests to bring you food AND a dish that you can keep, there's no nice way to say iit. I mean, either the guest is having to give up one of their own dishes, or buy a new one, when they maybe had someother gift in mind. And having to buy food to make a dish. Are you expecting them to make it that day? The night before? That's stressful for guests, esp anyone traveling. What happens if on their way the food spills in the car?

Wow, I remember why the negativity stopped me from posting stuff. Don't let a lot of divas get you down and steer you away from doing what ever is comfortable with your friends and family.

I'm assuming that the people involved will understand the small budget and love to contribute. The others who would turn their nose up at a family style celebration for the beginning of a family I would just cross off my list and move on.

So many people are so busy trying to show that their standards are higher that they forget to be welcoming and helpful instead.

Here is a link to a couple wording poems that are cute.

http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/potluck-invitation-wording

And if you scroll down this page here, you can see a guide and examples from others that have done this.

http://2000dollarwedding.com/2009/04/case-for-potluck-wedding.html

Bless you both and best wishes! <3

I say f everyone and do what makes you happy. I don't think its rude at all and obviously only you know your guests.

Sorry, but I am so sick of the whole "don't do this, its rude" BS. If its something you don't think people would gawk at, go for it.

I started planning my wedding with everyone else in mind rather then myself, and am now learning how miserable it made me. People don't care about your wedding as much as you. Don't even waste your time worrying over the little things.

If YOU think you're guests would go for it, then word it however you think sounds good. If people get offended then maybe they aren't the best people to be around anyways.

OffBeat Bride has addressed this, and I think this sums it up pretty well-

"The issue isn't "is a potluck wedding tacky?" and more "Are you and your fiance's families comfortable enough with the idea to participate fully?" Only you two know your families well enough to know if this is the case. Here are a few questions for you and your fiance to ask yourselves:

Did you grow up with family/community potlucks?

Do your family members have their signature hot dishes and potato salads and special pies that they love to trot out for community events?

Are they foodies who like to cook and bake and share with each other … or do they mostly eat out?

Will you guests be traveling far, and will they have access to a kitchen to cook the day before your wedding? (This one is super important!)"

http://offbeatbride.com/2009/06/potluck-wedding-tacky

http://www.inspiredbride.net/2013/02/19/how-to-plan-a-potluck-wedding/

Go Google "Potluck wedding" and you'll find lots of examples, articles, tip, tricks, and blogs/forums talking about it.

Considering everyone here is saying it's rude- apparently lots and lots of couples have done it, and their friends and family didn't disown them.

Nafina, it doesn't matter what we think it's what she wants to do so why not just answer the damn question?

Instead...everyone gave their opinion when it wasn't wanted. I'm not supporting pot luck weddings I'm just saying if that's what she has decided than so be it and help with what she asked.

I think theme weddings are stupid but I don't dig all up in brides asses when they want a freakin star wars cake!

Really, food spilling in someones car is a reason not to have a potluck. People shove McDonalds in their pie hole all day while driving I highly doubt a dish is gonna spill.

Elizabeth, it might be most considerate to talk to your family and friends beforehand to ask this favor of them. Not just include it on the invite, and hope that people participate. I suggest this not to minimize any "rudeness" but because most groups of people need some type of direction when doing almost anything.

Maybe a food theme to jostle peoples ideas. A break down of how many entrees, sides, appetizers, salads, desserts, and drinks, so you don't end up with 2 main dishes, 16 sides and 20 desserts.

Do you have a friend or family member than would be willing to manage this for you, or help with managing it? Keep and track lists of who says they're bringing what. Assist you with managing set-up, clean-up, serving utensils, plates/utensils/cups, etc..

Um I'd be pretty pissed if I had to take time out of my busy schedule to make a bride food, only for it to spill in my car. I'd be pissed I have to take time out of my schedule to make a bride food period.

My point was, most of us dont see how it can be worded nicely. Because any way you said it, essentially you're telling guests : buy and bake food for my wedding, oh and give me your baking dish. That's exactly what it is. Cute poems, nice formal wording, that's what I as an outside person hear. Now if her family finds this perfectly acceptable, then I guess it's fine. But she asked for nice wording right? IMO there is NO nice wording... but whatever, just beating the dead cat I suppose...

Here's an alternative: if you cant afford catering, what about pick-up? I'm doing party pick up from a caterer. I pay for the food, they make it, I pick it up & set it up at my venue. It's cheaper than catering, but nicer than making your guests cook for you

Frankly, if you can't afford to feed your guests you either need to push back the date and save more money or have the weddin youcan properly host now. Have a cake and punch reception between 2 and 5. Have a cookout of burgers and hot dogs. But don't ask your guests to provide their own food.

In regards to a pp- just because most people are too polite to say when they're offended doesn't mean they weren't.

Hmm... Maybe you can get married a few days before and have this be a celebratory party, instead of a reception. That way people won't be expecting anything formal at all. Then your invitations can say something like, "We're married! Come help us celebrate potluck style! Bring your favorite dish, and let's party the day away!" Okay, you don't really have to say "let's party the day away" after, but I couldn't figure out what else to say, haha.

Do you really need to keep all of the dishes? That is a TON of dishes. Besides, I can't figure out how to respectfully ask to keep the dishes after people have already prepared the food (be it family or not). Anyone who wants to bring a gift will. If anyone asks about a registry, maybe suggest gift cards. That way you can have more than just a bunch of mix matched casserole bowls.

I want to say I didn't give a suggestion because honestly I didn't have one, I don't even know how to word my own invite let alone someone else. I personally don't find it tacky, I find it to be a joining of family ya know WAY back in the day and in many cultures the party after a wedding was in celebration of the bride and groom. Some one along the way turned it into a thank you, which I understand as well. But in many cultures and traditions it's not uncommon at all for family to bring food, it's considered a blessing. So until you are apart of that type of tradition it's not fair for anyone to snub their noses at it. If you would be offended then I guess you shouldn't go. I think sometimes people miss the whole point of marriage and inviting family it's all about unity! Sometimes people get so stuck on what they think is rude they forget that others just may not. God forbid anyone do something different than the norm.

Also it wasn't a requirement to begin with so I think people are taking this all a bit far IMO your opinions I am sure noted some find it rude that's okay it's your opinion others may not and that's okay too it's their opinion but that's not exactly what she was asking for.

If someone sent me an invitation to a potluck, provide the dish, I would go to the store, buy a dish and prepare some food. Go to the wedding have a great time and come home. Enough said. I would probably even get them a card with some cash in it. (even though she said it is replacing the gift).

It will probably turn out to be a fantastic time with some great food variety. I say go for it, if that is what you want to do.

@TooManyMistys....I just read your post....You hit that dead on!! You go girl.

I don't know how to word it because I suck at things like that. I just wanted to say that I think a potluck is just fine since it's your family. I think it would be fun! A few members of my FH's family brought up the idea for us when my budget was half the size it is now.

Nafina, you know what...you wouldn't have to take a second out of your busy schedule because all you would need to do is decline the invitation. Your car stays clean and you can stick to your to-do list for the day.

The OP wasn't looking for an alternative she was looking for advice on how to word her invitation. Again, not what you guys thought of a pot luck wedding.

I can't believe how many of you voiced your opinions when they weren't even asked for.