pot luck wedding

Were I come from people would be more than happy to do potluck. They would be thrilled to rally together for a struggling couple wanting to get married. They'd rather potluck than have the couple go to the JP.

Reality is, do whats best in your circle of life. If its something your family is in to, then do it. Just like the cash bar thing, its totally normal where I come from while for others its 'tacky', oh how I hate that word... I wouldn't finch for potluck or a cash bar. Im also a person that would be happy do make a dish and include a recipe for the new couple.

On topic OP, you have some good wording to work with. Run with it if its good in your circle. Good luck!

Diane: please dont make this a personal war against me for sharing my opinion, which is what we all do on WW. Is this your thread? NO? Oh ok, then stop speaking for the OP. If she has any offense to what I, or anyone else, has said, she can flag away. It is really not your place to continue bitching about comments just because they dont agree with your opinion. This is a public forum, I am free to express my opinions, I am free to give OP an alternative. If YOU dont like it, you can stop reading my comments. Again, if OP has an issue with anything I'm saying, she can address me, you are not her mommy, stop speaking for her.

My alternative may not be what she originally asked, but I've seen alot of ladies get advice/alternatives different to their original ideas, & they love it/hate it, or atleast consider it. I was just trying to find a different way to save her money - since when is that offensive/wrong?

Maybe on the invite you can say "we invite you to bring your dancing moves and dish to help us celebrate our wedded bliss! The newlyweds are asking that instead of a household gift you bring your favorite homemade dish to share as we celebrate as a family united in love" or something like that. Idk I just made it up lol but my friend got married a couple months ago and she asked to people to bring a dish instead of gifts. I brought some hot wing dip and still gave them 50 bucks and a card. If I'm close to you I'm more happy that your happy. Plus I can make dip in like 10 minutes lol

I think our weddings are quiet similar I cannot afford catering. However I don't think I would put it on the invitation and maybe just spread it by the word of mouth. My grandma and some other ladys are helping with ours. We are just doing ham, shredded chicken, and bbq sandwiches premade and wrapped in plastic wrap in our wedding colors, followed by macaroni & potato salad. Salad fruit veggie and meat trays. We decided to stay away from hot food because personally we don't want to stress about warm food and keeping it warm with little ones running around. I would just see if you could gather a close nit of family that are willing to help I would hate to rely on other people to bring the food because anything can happen, they could not come, how many outlets will you have available, and multiple dishes.

Best of luck!!

My ceremony and reception are both at our church same room. So for ours to do the potluck I would be stressed because I would be worried if all of food made it.

Wow Nafina You, just Dont Get It. It's Ok... Maybe If You Stop And Actually Think For A Second You Will See That I Was Not Giving My Opinion And That I Was Stating A Fact.

And if you stop to think about it, stating your fact is pointless b/c regardless we are free to express our opinions. Someone saying they want to do a cash bar, might not be looking for advice, but we give it anyway, saying that in general cash bar is rude. Do you jump down their throats too? Do you jump down anyone's throats for going against your stated facts? Holy cow get off you high horse....

*throws hands up* whatever, this is ridiculous to argue with someone who's not even the OP of this thread.... And this is why I left WW for a bit, too many people cant handle that the big bad world has people in it with different opinions & on a public forum it is freedom of expression. I didnt know that WW was becoming a space where you arent allowed to comment on OP's thread unless it's to say "oh yes that's a fabulous idea, here's the answer that you want to hear!"

Please, please PLEASE don't do this. If you can't afford catering, have a "cake and punch" reception--classy and timeless, AND nobody has to bring a dish to pass. I mean, think about it. Don't you remember how much you (or your mom) always b**ch and moan about a potluck, the morning of, because you forgot about it the night before? Don't let that be your wedding. I assure you, having a cake and punch instead of a potluck will be less stress all-around. It will make your wedding more enjoyable for your guests, and, therefore, for you.

Edit: I just saw all the drama on this thread. Please keep my comment, and me, out of it.

I love ALL of you, here on WW. <3

That's what it is Nafina. "Yes, I love a bouquet made out of coffee filters dyed with jello."

Potluck. Unsafe, bad and rude. I'm out.

That's what it is Nafina. "Yes, I love a bouquet made out of coffee filters dyed with jello."

Potluck. Unsafe, bad and rude. I'm out.

Etiquette wise it is a bad idea but if your concern isn't etiquette & if you are just having close family then you are the best judge of what is commonly acceptable within your family. If you guys do potluck for everything & the fam loves cooking & sharing then I don't see the problem. (For example, my e-party my mom did all the food & hired 2 ladies to help serve etc, but i had a couple aunts who insisted on bringing food even though they were told not to--its the nature of some families to share food in this way).....but If its completely out if the blue & never been done before then I'd re-think it. I like the wording Mrs. M used first all the way at the top of the comments & place it on an insert if u go for the pot luck. If u re-consider look into a catering order from a local place near u to deliver. FH &I have a pizza place & just did an order yesterday for 3 trays of cheesesteaks, 2 huge full salad trays, 3 chicken & eggplant parm trays, a chicken wrap tray & a chicken & steak quesadilla tray for like $400 (and we arent in a cheap area) so I'd say it's def doable wherever u are.

What's interesting when we talk about the safety but when you have events in your own home how "safe" is your food? Do you follow the guidelines? Have you been to a potluck before? Did you choose not to eat? I get the safety thing BUT at the same time I think of every potluck in my life I have been to and no one got sick (not saying they can't don't get me wrong). I think it depends greatly on the amount of people one has coming (which wasn't said in this thread I believe).

@Nafia it's not that people can't handle the big bad world it's just how people say it. When something is tactfully said if you noticed it gets less of a response when it comes across as rude, crass, judgmental, or mean-spirited than expect people to say something. Just because you have the freedom of expression doesn't mean it should always be used.

OP I think you have been given some great ideas on how to go about this. Best of luck to you.

We did a potluck wedding with 200+ people and it could not have been more beautiful. Anyone who is coming to your wedding loves you and wants to help. If someone is put off by this idea, they probably are not people you want in your life. Here is how we worded ours on the website (after writing on invitations that it was a potluck):

Please remember to bring your favorite dish for the potluck, along with the recipe written on the card sent in the invitations, and your name and relation to the bride and/or groom on the back of the card. If everyone brings one dish there will be plenty for everyone!

For those of you who are coming in from out of town, please just bring the card and not the actual dish, as Paul and Alicia just want you to come and enjoy the fun!

The theme of the wedding is all about community and the potluck will be the best part of everyone coming together for a night of celebration.

This is a photo from our wedding.

We are probably having a BBQ/Pot Luck dinner. Renting a space at a local lake. We are on a tight budget. We have less than 50 guests written down. We are only inviting our close friends and family. I live in a small community anyways. I truly believe that it'd be fun to see what everyone brings. We are doing BBQ as well in case there is not enough for everyone.

Alicia that looks amazing I love when families come together it seems less and less often these days

Since she's inviting just family to this, I don't see what all the drama is over. If she can't depend on her own family to celebrate their wedding, who can she depend on? I'm sure most of her family would rather have a pot luck than nothing and support the new couple.

Elizabeth, I think that it should probably be something spread by mouth. Maybe have both your mothers spread among the families. Otherwise, guests might feel obligated to bring something if there's a piece of paper. But, Alicia's wording is very elegant.

Holy Poop! This is still going?

Right OTW

P.S. I like your filtering ahaha "poop"

I thought she just asked about how to word it. Now, she has all of these replies calling her rude and tacky lol.

Right it got crazy!!