Potluck reception

View Quoted Comment You may have eaten at his families homes with no issues but cooking for a few people is VASTLY different than cooking for a large wedding. Food safety issues become a concern on that scale.

The risk is is not the same. I know that a.) chefs at restaurants are trained to properly know how to maintain safe food temps/not cross contaminate allergens and b.) have liability insurance so the chances of my medical bills being properly covered if something were to go wrong are higher. At a potluck my only option is to sue friends or family for my medical bills if anything was to happen.

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I agree with this. 1, how would guests have any idea how many to cook for. 2, how would you handle food safety & keeping things warm/cold at food safe temperatures? 3, how do you handle food allergies? 4, what do out of town guests do since they won't have a kitchen? I would just do a cake and punch reception or cut your guest list.

In addition to the health risks posed by potlucks, it really isn't appropriate to ask your guests to pay for your wedding, which is what you would be doing by asking them to purchase and cook the food. The reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony and should be fully hosted by the couple. If you aren't able to pay for meals for everyone then you can have a cake and punch reception at a non meal time or you may need to cut your guest list to a number that you can afford to host properly.

I also think it's just really gross - I would not eat food from someone's kitchen that I didn't know extremely well. What if one Aunt is totally cool with potlucks but also has cats and lets them climb on the counter all the time? She may be fine with that, but even thinking about something like that makes me nauseous. This is not even touching the fact that it's super duper rude to ask your guests to finance your wedding - it's only cheaper for you because you're pushing costs onto them. it's totally fine to have a cake and punch reception, or have a brunch wedding and purchase egg casseroles from the grocery store. Or have a dry wedding. Or get some sandwich platters and veggies from somewhere. there are definitely very cost effective ways to host a large number of people cheaply.

The biggest issue that I see with a potluck reception is say you have 150 guests, and each guest brings something. That item that guest brings is not going to feed 150 people. Also, you run into the problem of too many guests bringing the same thing. Do you really need 50 helpings of potato salad, and only 2 helpings of chicken? Plus it can cause confusion upon arrival (assuming your ceremony and reception are at the same location), you will have guests wandering around wondering where to put their food, then wandering around to get to the ceremony. It also might be asking a bit much of your guests, you want them to give you a gift AND bring food? However, if you are dead set on potluck, i'd suggest an informal small back yard wedding. But if you want something more, you can go with some cheaper food options (italian, mexican, breakfast foods, etc.), have your reception during non-meal times and only serve appetizers, or shrink your guest list.

I would advise against this as well. I was a BM in a wedding that did this and it didn't end well by the end of the day. It was an uncoordinated mess! Three aunts brought 3 different pulled pork dishes, there was more macaroni salad then I ever thought possible and only 2 gallons of tea for 100 people.

Thank god there was cake lol.

I think it would be fun. If you are worried about people getting sick which can happen with food you make and catered food get some insurance it's pretty cheap ~$100 and covers a lot. It's your wedding. Granted if everyone you are inviting hated that sort of thing then that would be a different story and then you would need to decide what to do. You can let people know what you are doing, if they decide not to come great less people to cook for alternatively then you could potentially get it catered if you wanted because it would then be cheaper. I personally just wouldn't invite them. I hate rules and people dictating what I can and can't do based on some arbitrary notion of what is right and wrong. People didn't always cater it wasn't an option. Just because it's an option now doesn't mean it's necessarily the "right way". We want to have our favorite foods so we will have some stuff from restaurants and some stuff we make. I really like pumpkin lavender soup and have gotten good at making it so that will be made by me. I have already had others offer to make stuff I didn't need to ask. We are also getting insurance just in case. People will know what is made by us or friends and what is from a restaurant.

It's not the fanciest but I've been to weddings with cold cut trays from a grocery deli. They just need to be refrigerated until time to eat and it's definitely a budget friendly way to feed everyone. If you really want to have people pitch in (you can see from above most people are against it), assign specific people a certain item: Aunt Sue brings 1 bag of potato chips, Uncle Bob brings pre-packaged cookies, etc. and talk to them in person or on the phone to ask this request. You should still provide the main entree. Stick with things that are sealed or are made in a setting like a deli at the very least.

I LOVE the idea! And everyone who we are inviting would love this too. We are totally low key family people who grew up on "real food" home cooking. If your people are like us, we would love it. Just make sure you have the people bringing the food can cook. And have it all in buffer catering dishes (classier). My mom is catering our rehearsal dinner and I'm beyond excited!

We are getting bbq pork from a locker, potatoes salad and baked beans. We invited over 250 guest.

Could it be possible if just close family helps? Like mother father brother sisters etc. Kind of like a Pot luck but not so many different people.

View Quoted Comment I dunno. I personally thought the idea was fun when my FH first suggested it.
I thought it would be fun, give the reception a more intimate feeling, and a great way for the family to contribute and something that we could all have a hand in doing together. Saving money on food was just going to be the bonus, BUT i guess the only way to do any kind of food at a wedding is to spend upwards of thousands of dollars on catering. Because potlucks are "not human like" apparently.

Never mind that peoples familes and culture can be different. And sorry if my being snappy offends someone but this post wasnt asking whether or not i should do a potluck, it was asking for ideas from those who have done it, or liked the idea of it. Instead i get 30+ posts insulting me or our ideas because they think its low class or trashy because its not something they think is appropriate for a wedding.
Well my family isnt your family, and not all weddings have to be the same.

View Quoted Comment I don't think it's a bad idea honestly. I mentioned it for our wedding, but my father said he would pay for the meat. Which is pretty cheap. I have done cheap ideas of you change your mind. But go for it.. it's your day ❤

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your kindness. I apologize for being snappy. That post was written at 4am this morning and very clearly not thought out with how rude i was being.
The potluck idea is out but we are still thinking about catering it ourself somehow, we just havent decided on the how yet.

I have a lot of cheap ideas. If you would like to chat further.

If it’s a super small laidback wedding I wouldn’t mind! Key thing here is that the rest of the wedding would have to be equally casual: if I saw the bride had a $1000 dress or something at a potluck wedding I’d be pissed that she put herself above the guests comfort. Also, if I was an out of town guest it would be pretty inconvinient to cook a dish!

I have been to them; they sucked. They're also inappropriate for this kind of event. The point of a reception is to receive the guests you invited to your ceremony (hence the name) and thank them for attending and supporting you by providing them with food and drink appropriate to the time of day. The reception itself is a thank you for your guests, which is why you don't write thank you notes just for attendance at your wedding; thank you notes are for presents that guests choose to give you in celebration of your marriage. It is inappropriate and rude to have guests pay for their own thank you by providing the food; this is an event that should be hosted and paid for by the people getting married, with the financial help of anyone who offers (e.g. parents).

I went to a pot luck wedding last fall and I was not amused. I was under the impression it would be catered but then I found out we needed to bring something as the person who was going to make all of the food passed away. Either way it was still expensive to bring a dish to feed a crowd AND a gift. As well as we had to move our chairs and tables from the ceremony to the reception. Needless to say I will not be attending one of those again. OP I suggest you do an even lower key event if potluck is your style. Backyard BBQ kind of thing. As a guest it left a bad taste in my mouth from the whole experience.

View Quoted Comment At a potluck wedding you should have never even had to have brought a gift. Your dish should have been your gift sobit was rude of your host to expect both.
And you cant help that someone passed away so thats that on what happend with you as the potluck was probably the only thing that could have done on short notice.

I get that its not everyones style as when most people think weddings that think about super high class fancy weddings where people spend thousands and thousands of dollars.

BUT and this is something that no one seems to understand, not everyone is the same way. Not everyone shares the same views or has the same style. I dont need to have an "even lower key backyard event."

Because i know my family, i know our lifestyle and our personalities. I never asked what people thought about a potluck as i know the general consensus is NO.

I simply asked for those that DO like the idea and those that HAVE done it, what recipes and dishes would they suggest.

However it doesnt even matter now as my wedding has been postponed due to a recent job change.

I would not do this. Like someone else suggested, have the wedding at a non-meal time and just do cake and punch.