Potluck?

I just read that you said your budget is 5k is that just for the food? If so I have a great caterer for you and they can do it for much less than that. And the food is awesome. Send me a message if you want the info

Yes. I get it. You all think it's tacky and I'm terrible for asking. I already feel like a crap person, so could we just drop it now? I would delete this post if I could

You're not "a terrible person" and no one on this thread has said you are. People are just trying to help you get up to speed on some of the realities of planning a wedding -- many of us have had questions and needed help to figure out options and how things might work. Unfortunately, in many cases, hosting guests for a wedding is very expensive. One of the reasons is, for health and safety reasons, almost all venues require the use of a licensed caterer and bartending service. I just did a quick Google search for the venue you mentioned and found an estimate on Wedding Spot for "the very starting price" of a wedding at this venue of almost $6400 for 100 guests (with no alcohol). Typically, the rule of thumb is that the venue, food and beverage costs make-up about half the total wedding budget. Based on that, it's probably important for you to know early on, that the anticipated total cost of a wedding at this location is probably in the ballpark of $12,000. That's just important information to have before you sign contacts and finalize plans. (When daughter first got engaged, we figured $20,000 would be a good budget for 100 guests -- we live in a high cost of living area. We were WRONG.... The average budget calculators all estimated closer to $32,000. Guess what? At the end of an 18-month planning process, the actual total was almost exactly $32,000 [not including things like rings, honeymoon, wedding party gifts, etc.].) I think almost every participant on this forum has experienced "sticker shock" when it comes to planning a wedding. Don't take it personally when people share their thoughts/experiences/opinions. Honestly, most are trying to be helpful. You and FH may need to rethink your plans & desires, in light of the realities of your budget. You might decide to push out your date so you can save more or have a much smaller wedding with a cake & punch reception, or possibly even elope. There is NOTHING wrong with any of those options. It's really about what works best for you. The outcome is the same -- you'll be happily married. Good luck!

We were originally doing a potluck and actually had a spreadsheet of what everyone was bringing and it was helpful but it was too stressful since most of our guests were traveling from out of state. We ended up doing a food truck for around 500 for 70 people. Some people didn’t get the memo and still brought food which ended up being great since some people had really complex allergies and ended up finding solutions in what other people brought. No one got sick, all the food was either kept warm some way or just a cold dish like salad. Whatever makes you comfortable. I’m sorry all these comments have made you feel down. Wedding planning can do that to do. Just take some time and think about what makes you comfortable and happy and then talk to your Fiancé. Best of luck girly!

View Quoted Comment Thank you 😊

I'm one of the odd ones here but I think it depends on your guest's proximity to the venue. Like maybe those 10-15 minutes away could bring something and then have someone stay with the food the whole time to maintain temperature somehow. I've been to weddings where the meat was catered but the side dishes were brought by family and that turned out well.

I’m doing something like a potluck! I’m having a Laotian wedding and unfortunately there’s hardly any restaurants near me that serve our cuisine so my immediate family will bringing food. I also have some family bringing appetizers as well. However, we will be catering some of our dinner through a food chain. That might be something worth exploring (I.e. chipotle, carabbas, etc)...it’s pretty reasonable! Thankfully, our venue is BYO drinks and food so we’ll saving a lot of money that way. They also have refrigerators and a food warmer so which is great! Good luck honey, do what’s best for you. I can understand why some people are reluctant about potluck weddings. But I’ve been to plenty of potluck weddings and I’ve never had a problem.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, hun. I've talked to a lot of friends and they did potlucks for theirs. I guess this is just a higher end site. Good luck with your wedding!

Speaking on a personal opinion, I don't think it's a good idea, however this is your wedding and whatever you do that makes your life simpler that is fine. My cousin did a potluck wedding and it did not go well and my cousin didn't even get a chance to eat her own food at her own wedding because the food was gone within 10 minutes! She had a count of 300 people and only about 10 people brought something, so if you are to do a potluck wedding be VERY specific of how you want this to be organized. I would definitely double check with your venue to see if this is okay with them, a potluck could be a good idea if everything goes smoothly and is organized accordingly. Good luck!