Pre-Cana- marriage prep

We actually had a totally different experience. The parishes around us use a newer program where you meet with a designated couple within the parish for 5 sessions, and they go through the whole program. We were surprised, as we expected more of what you experienced, but our couple was very modern with what they taught us. There was no preaching, and they stressed that the church is more concerned that we were doing the right thing by getting prepared for marriage rather than that we are already "living in sin" lol. That made us feel good about the experience, and not preached at which unfortunately it seems like you had!!!

i think they are coming around a little bit....

Unfortunately I think it depends where you go for the prep. These particle couples say they do these sessions all the time for the church. So I have a feeling that particular parish will have that session run that way for as long as those couples are there. (Note parish BTW, mine doesn't offer it) Also, we didn't take the focus test, which I've heard so many of you ladies talk about.

I also agree that it depends on where you take the class. I was happy that our Pre-Cana course wasn't extremely "preachy". On the topic of sex, the couple running our course said it was a wonderful way to consummate your marriage vows and show your love for your spouse - but that it should be done only after you are married. I don't personally agree with the latter half of that statement, but they didn't condone my actions or make me feel like a horrible person because I didn't agree.

We also didn't take the FOCUS test - ours was called PMI (Pre Marriage Inventory?) Very similar to FOCUS it sounded like...

The Catholic church may be what you refer to as out of touch but it is part and parcel of the whole faith.

I am not saying I agree and I certainly don't tell anyone else what to do.

Sorry you had a negative experience and glad there are others on here with positive ones.

Don't let it deter you, though

That's actually interesting because it's pretty different from what I have been taught how the Church views sex within marriage. From what I understand, the Church sees sex as a way a couple strengthens their bond and an important part of marriage. Even if you're not trying to conceive, you just have to be open to the possibility. That's why natural family planning is okay but other forms of contraceptives are not.

At least that's how I understand it. I'm sorry you had a bad experience! I actually enjoyed ours. Sure there were a few eye rolls (especially during the gender roles discussion) and I muttered "yeah I'm gonna need a citation for that" more than once. But otherwise I thought it was helpful!

They did talk about that as well, how sex is a renewal of theatre age bows. That I was cool with. Then they went into the whole you should really only do it to have children, THEN turned around again and talked about natural family planning. I was miffed, as they were contradicting themselves. But as I said in my first post, I think tbe reason it was muddled at that point, was because I think the couple in charge of that Part of the day were giving us more of their own personal belief then that of the church. I honestly was ok with all of the other presenters and what they had to tell us, just not the two in charge of the sexuality seminar. And Lori H-they also talked about gender roles in mine. I forgot to mention that part. All the women were like "..."

And Tina - I'm not deterred. We will still marry in the church, and will still attend. Was just thrown.

Interesting! Our class is today, so I will have to see what they say about that.

Good for you Kris! Glad to hear it!

Trust me, I mutter to myself, and sometimes not just to myself, a LOT during mass

I was floored when I read the NFP PAMPHLET. It says in there they conforms offer NO protection against HIV and other STD's. It said the pill causes liver tumors, and that the IUD, if you use it you will never be fertile again. I almost said something out loud, but instead just whispered to the other couples at our table

I think the speakers in your seminar are really the ones who are out of touch. I went to Catholic schools growing up and even back then we were never taught that married couples should only make love if they intend to have a child. Like Lori said, that is why the Church is okay with (and actually promote) natural family planning methods.

That's what I was saying to FH Today. I think they couple was out of touch and shouldn't be teaching that course. I also don't remember ever being taught they sex within a marriage was just for children

I wish you had a better experience in your Pre-Cana , but I am glad to hear that it hasn't completely deterred you and your wedding plans.

oh... and that pamphlet was pretty extreme... wow!

:/ mine is in half a month ..sounds fun