Pre-/post- wedding parties

I have attended each of these events throughout my life. I had actually forgotten about the “gift opening” tradition the day after the wedding. Do people still do that?? I remember it being common when I was a small child, but haven’t seen or heard of it being done for a loooooong time. Another pre-wedding event I commonly go to are engagement parties. Instead of (or in addition to) bridal showers/lingerie showers, I’ve seen a lot of couples opting to do couples showers recently. The same with Bachelor/bachelorette parties - I’ve seen a lot of couples choosing to combine them. I’ve also been invited to and have hosted bridal spa days. Sometimes these are the week of the wedding (bride and WP get manicures, pedicures, facials, etc. in preparation for the wedding), and sometimes they are done months out simply as a fun “relax and rewind” for the bride and a WP (usually mimosas and massages). I have also attended bridesmaid sleepovers when the couple chooses to not spend the evening before together, and “kidnapping” parties - where a group of the grooms friends “steals” the bride and a group of the brides friends “steal” the groom and take them bar hopping. The goal of the evening is to find the other group! The only catch is that the groups cannot communicate with one another, and at least one member of the group has to have one drink at every bar are you go into.
As far as post-wedding events, most weddings I have attended within the past 5+ years have all had after parties once the reception has ended. Lots of brunches the following day. I think all of the destination weddings I have attended have had welcome dinners and thank you brunches. My circle of friends has made a tradition of hosting Welcome Home brunches or parties shortly after the couple returns home from their honeymoon.

Oops, I realized I only answered the question from the guest perspective. For our wedding, I will not be having a bridal shower. FH and I have lived together for over a year and already have everything we need, so I didn’t see a point in having a gathering that was meant to “shower” me with gifts we don’t want/need. My parents intended to host an engagement party for us, but Covid hit shortly after we announced our engagement, so that was canceled for everyone’s safety. Our WPs combined forces and planned a bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas for us, and my bridesmaids have already indicated they wish to do a kidnap party as well. We will be hosting a rehearsal dinner for immediate family and WP the evening before the wedding, an after party once the reception has ended, and a thank you brunch the following day.

As a guest, I’ve attended a bridal shower, rehearsal dinner and a portion of a bachelorette party (I was under age).

For our wedding, we might do a joint bacherlor/bachelorette party (super simple, just a few drinks with friends) or nothing and a rehearsal/welcome dinner.

As a bride, I had none of these events, by design.

As a guest:

*Bridal shower - I've been to one (once was enough to know these are not for me).

*Lingerie Shower and Bridesmaid luncheon - never been invited to either (not a thing where I have lived, I don't think).

*Bachelorette party - I've been to one for each of the two weddings I was in the wedding party for (I've never been invited to one where I wasn't in the wedding party; I would attend a local one but wouldn't travel for it).

*Rehearsal dinner - many.

*Welcome party - several.

*Day after brunch - a few.

*Gift opening - never (also not a thing where I live, as far as I know).

View Quoted Comment That kidnapping party sounds fun! There's so many bars in my city though we might never find each other lol.

As a guest, I've been to bridal showers, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, day after brunch, engagement party, couple's shower. I had a great experience at all of these, and enjoyed them! I was invited to a lingerie shower, but I didn't attend.

As a bride, I'll have a bridal shower (MOH has mentioned possibly hosting one) and bachelorette party.

As a couple, we'll have 2 couple's showers, rehearsal dinner, and morning after brunch (we'll be eating before we leave, and will have a note in our welcome bags that our guests are welcome to come hang out with us before we leave!)

View Quoted Comment Same here! We are in Chicago. We usually limit it to a certain radius (ie, pick landmarks that we have to stay between)

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea! Louisville isn't nearly as big but you could definitely get lost in all the bars.

Bridal shower - If I've attended, I was very young and don't remember lol. My mom is hosting one in my hometown and my MOH is hosting another in my current town.

Bachelorette party - Been to a couple, all low-key and in-town. Going to the beach for a long weekend with my WP and friends for mine!

Rehearsal dinner - Been to a couple and FH's family will be hosting one - we live in MD, so I requested a crab feast! FFIL frequently goes crabbing, so it's not an out of the ordinary party for them to host.

Welcome party - Only if you count a rehearsal dinner that out of town guests were invited to attend. Otherwise not a thing in my social circle and will be skipping.

Day after brunch - My dad's side usually does something together (whether it's the day before, of, or after) since we're spread across the country. My parents will host a day after brunch for the out of town guests.

Lingerie shower, bridesmaid luncheon, gift opening - None are a thing in my social circle and will be skipping.

I’ve only been to a bridal shower. I’ll be having a bridal shower and maybe rehearsal maybe. I only have one a MOH and she’s out of state so if we do “bachelorette” it’ll be close to the wedding. Unless we can do something a few months before.

Bridal showers, wedding rehearsals/dinners, bachelorette days i've done those! i had all those too for mine

As a bride:

I am doing everything in my power to avoid doing any of this. I have actively been trying to keep the women in my family from throwing me a shower, much to their dismay. My man of honor is mad I don't want a bachelorette party (for who? I have like 3 friends and he's the only person in my wedding party) but I said I'd let him take me to a spa and he calmed down

As a Guest:

I've been to both bridal and wedding showers - they were fine. Games are fun. Lingerie has always been a thing to give at bridal showers.

I was in my aunt and my mom's wedding so I'm SURE I went to some rehearsal dinners but I honestly can't remember. For my FH's cousin's rehearsal, we all got pizza and drank after and that was pretty fun.

Bachelorette party - had to plan one, hated it. Had to attend one in Vegas...also hated it. BUT I was in the middle of a depressive episode, unmedicated, and I also wasn't very close with the bride at the time so I was an anxiety ridden wet blanket most of the weekend(it was my FH's cousin who he is very close with and she invited me to try and include me in the festivities). That being said, I think had it happened a couple years later I would have had fun and BEEN way more fun.

Since dating my FH, I've been to a lot of "day after brunches" but in Mexican tradition they call them "recalentadas" which literally translates to "reheated" - traditionally where you "reheat" the leftovers from the party the day before. Other food is offered now, obviously, and it's usually when gifts are opened. Again, the first few years we were dating, I hated attending these because I really just wanted to go home but I kind of expect them now and am more comfortable around his family so it's not so bad. This is also something I'm not looking forward to, but I know I'll probably end up having to do and it will also be fine.