Pre-wedding activities.

If you do this, you should definitely pay for everything. This event would be entirely optional.

If everyone lives in the same area and you invite them out for drinks or happy hour afterwork - you do not need to pay for everything. It's completely optional for them to attend and very casual. If you invite them out for lunch, dinner or some kind of activity then you should definitely host/ pay.

We're doing this before our DW. We're just having everyone over for a bonfire/BBQ but we're providing everything. I'm sure someone will bring a dessert or something too just because that's who they are lol

Definitely pay for it on their behalf, since would be considered an extra expense that they definitely wouldn't have known about ahead of time

View Quoted Comment Most of them already know we're planning to do something and it'll be at least a year from now before we do it because my fiancé is deployed.

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That's fine. It's still a courtesy. Whenever I've been asked to be in a wedding, I expect to pay for my dress and shoes, and potentially hair and makeup if those are options that are offered (though if the bride has required these things, she's paid for us to have them done). Obviously spending money on showers/gifts/bachelorette are a given.. events beyond that? It just starts to snowball. To be mindful of that for your BP, it's just nice to go ahead and foot the bill for them.

I’m having a DW(Bahamas) so the day before the wedding we are going to grill out on the beach then have a friendly scavenger hunt competition between my bridesmaids & I against FH & his groomsmen lol fun and cost efficient.

View Quoted Comment We're considering going to an Escape Room.😊

Yes, you should pay.

If you invited me out for food/drinks etc. I would never expect you to pay for it. I'm not sure why everyone expects you to. If you plan a week or weeks in advance I think everyone would be perfectly fine paying for their own food and drinks.

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We're planning a welcome BBQ and providing everything for our guests!

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FUN! I love those, although they do bring out my competitive side! LOL

I think it all depends on how you describe it - if you just say "would everyone want to get together for drinks/dinner on ____ before the wedding to spend some time together?" I think it would be more of a casual hangout and there's no reason you should have to pay just because it's in the same week as another party you're paying for. Unless it would involve everyone flying in early or something, then I'd probably want to pay.

Anyway, if you pose it as a "wedding event/party" and especially if you put it on the itinerary/send invites for it, then you should pay.

View Quoted Comment None of us have ever done one so it'll definitely be interesting.