Pre-wedding Parties

I had two bridal showers, with a separate guest list for each shower and no guest overlap. This was because my hometown (where most of my relatives are) is on the other side of the country from where I currently live. My 'hometown' shower was hosted by my MOH and our closest family friends, and my local shower was hosted by close family friends/relatives of my husband. I did not have a bachelorette party, since my bridesmaids all lived in different states and it was too difficult to coordinate. We called our rehearsal dinner a "welcome party" because we invited all out of town guests. We used a caterer for heavy app stations and hired a couple of bartenders to serve wine, beer, and champagne. My husband and I hosted and paid for this ourselves. Finally, we had a farewell brunch the morning after our wedding for out of town guests, but it was mostly for people who stayed in our hotel block. It was held in the restaurant in the same hotel as our block, and my parents hosted and paid for this.

View Quoted Comment Oh, I see - thanks for the info!


I agree, I've seen a lot of etiquette debates on these forums! I appreciate your comments, it's always nice to have a reminder of what the right thing to do is. That sounds like you planned some really fun events for your daughter, and that the bridal luncheon/wedding week was a success! Glad to hear that she had events that were special and meaningful!

I wasn't interested in any pre-wedding parties so I didn't have any. I felt so strongly about this that I purposely made my planning period very short so that no one would have time to throw me a party.

View Quoted Comment Well I was told very early on into joining this website that bridal shower would be tacky and rude since I am eloping with only a few people you know? I also learned that you don't host your own showers I did not know that. So I did mention to my maid of honor that I would love to do something like a bridal shower but it's bad for me to host it and she said "I'll host it for you" but it was still the gifts part so I figured a way around it. Hopefully to not offend people the idea was to have a bridal brunch which is basically just a party. The theme we are doing is Breakfast at Tiffany's because I saw that and I just loved the idea and I used to love that movie. We are even doing party favors for the guests so really my girls just have to show up, eat some food, have some drinks and they get a gift to go because I can't that fully agree with the mindset that if a person chooses not to have a big wedding then they can't have any type of pre-wedding events so I'm thinking this is kind of my loophole. I do not doubt that people may still find what I'm doing rude and tacky but you know my friends are the kind of friends that regardless of how I'm getting married they just want to celebrate my upcoming day and that's what I value and that's how I see things is like I'm going to celebrate someone even if I'm not invited to the wedding. Now I would never have a wedding and then invite someone that I wasn't planning on inviting to the wedding to the brunch you know? So really I just see it as a good time to get together and just hang out.

I’m hosting a bridesmaids brunch for my girls this weekend! One of my bridesmaids lives out of state, so I’m flying her up so she can get acquainted with the other bridesmaid and my MOH. We’re doing brunch at my place and then a wine tasting at a local winery. We’ll probably do the bridal shower and bachelorette party next year (not getting married until October 2021), but I thought this would be a fun way for everyone to bond before those.

We had a wedding shower (co-ed), and we each had a bachelor/ette party, as well as a rehearsal dinner.

Two members of our BP also took us to a special pre-wedding baseball game, as DH's favorite player was retiring.

We had a short engagement, and didn't see the need for the other things.

I had an engagement party thrown by my mom and plan to have a stock the bar couples shower thrown by our friends, bachelorette weekend thrown by my bridesmaids, bridal shower thrown by my aunts, bridal luncheon the day before our wedding thrown by me/my mom for my bridesmaids, rehearsal dinner with bridal party & extended family thrown by my fiancé’s parents, and a welcome event after the rehearsal dinner that will be at a casual bar on the waterway where out of town guests can come have a drink with us (there may be a small tab but plan on it just being cash bar)

View Quoted Comment No kidding!! It seems like there's a party for everything. I'm good with any excuse to celebrate though 😂 I love that you're going to Harry Potter World, such a fun way to celebrate!! The farewell/thank you brunch is a really cool idea as well, especially for a destination wedding.

View Quoted Comment That's cool that you had two bridal showers! Definitely makes it easier instead of trying to get guests from one area to all travel (or not have them attend due to distance). The farewell brunch is also a great idea, especially since it was located at the hotel!

View Quoted Comment That makes sense! Glad to hear that your wishes were respected!

View Quoted Comment I love the Breakfast At Tiffany's theme!! And I agree with you - I don't see any reason why you can't have pre-wedding events just because you're not having a large wedding. The more I hear about bridal luncheons/brunch, the more I love the idea (especially the "no gifts" part, I just want to celebrate with people)! I hope you have a great time at your bridal brunch!

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Thank you. I will post pictures. I know it won't be everyone I invited but it is okay. I am very happy my MOH who barely planned her own wedding was willing to do this. I am so lucky she's my best friend.

View Quoted Comment That sounds so fun! Great way for your bridesmaids to all meet each other. Have a great time!!

View Quoted Comment The baseball game sounds like it was a special day for sure! Very cool!


I agree with you - I don't really see a need for a billion and one pre-wedding events for myself either, though I love hearing about how everyone celebrates so differently. I hadn't heard of many of these events before - not sure if they're new trends or just uncommon.

View Quoted Comment Sounds like you have some fun events coming up! The Stock The Bar shower sounds interesting, I haven't heard of that before! Is that where everyone brings a bottle of alcohol instead of a gift?

View Quoted Comment Some things are cultural or regional.


The baseball game was great. Our friends felt badly because our team lost... but we're used to that.

View Quoted Comment Yep exactly!

Outside of Law and Order set in NYC, I have never heard of engagement parties. Bridal luncheons are a yesteryear type thing. Never heard or attended a welcome dinner.


While I haven't decided on bridesmaids yet, the ones I intend to ask are scattered around the country so a shower would likely be held locally by some social group who wants to have one. Not planning to have a bachelorette.