Preacher/Dad/Officiant

It's your wedding. My dad is a pastor, but we have so many friends that are pastors too that I choice one of the closest ones to our family to officiant mine. But I don't think that would be weird. Several people actually asked me if my dad would do mine!

Why did he have to jump back and forth? After he gave her away he should've stayed at the alter as the preacher. If my dad was a preacher I would love for him to marry us. I think that would be so special.

If my dad were a preacher, I'd probably be asking him his thoughts on the matter rather than WW. Personally, I'd want my dad to be able to enjoy the day, not feel like he's working. But I can also see how it would be special for everyone involved. Ask him how he feels.

I don't know why he would be "jumping back and forth" after giving her away. I don't really see a reason why he would do anything other than preach after giving her away.

Anyway, FH's dad is preacher and is doing our ceremony. That was the very first thing we decided about the wedding, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

FH's dad is also a preacher and is doing our wedding. FH of course first made sure he was okay with it and I think we are all really excited and know it will make the ceremony more special.

Saving $200 is nice but having your father marry you is a special memory. It's not like he's going to be occupied for the whole event.

My dads a pastor but I'm letting him sit this one out and letting him just be a dad on my day. He officiated my brothers wedding but there's not much to do when your the father of the groom so it was his way of giving my brother away.

Maybe you could have one of the ministers at his church do the ceremony? That way it's still someone close to you and someone you trust, but your dad can still soak in the day as the FOB and not the officiant.

My father is a pastor and he will be marrying us. At first I didn't want him to bc I wanted him to only play the "father role" on my wedding, but he was really hurt, so I changed my mind bc I realized how special of a moment it will be for him. Thankfully FH's father is also a pastor, so he's going to be standing up there as my dad walks me down the aisle and will be the one to say "who gives this woman away" and then my dad will give me away, shake my FH's father's hand and then step up to the alter. We figured it was a nice way to include both our fathers without having any weird transitions.

Just about every father has the opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle. But there are very few that are able to say they married their daughter. It's a very special moment for a father and once I made the decision to have my dad do our ceremony he was SO happy!

We went to a wedding where the father of the groom was a pastor. It was honestly really special. The ceremony was actually really personalized and intimate, which is not very common of the church weddings I've been to.

But I think this is a family choice. If you and your father are okay with it, great! If either of you would prefer he sits and enjoys the ceremony without leading it, then that's great too!

Hi Ashley!! Have you asked your dad what he wants to do? Both of my parents are pastors and they both put their foot down immediately when I got engaged and said they would absolutely not do the ceremony Sounds harsh - but their perspective was that they didn't want to work on my wedding day, and that they wanted to just be the "mother of the bride" and "father of the bride".

Since your dad is a pastor, do you have any other close family friends who are also pastors? We have several on our guest list and I asked one of them to officiate the wedding!

My friends dad is a Pastor. He did the ceremony and her mom walked her down the aisle.

After walking the bride down the aisle, Dad takes a few steps forward and turns around. I don't see the big deal as long as the bride and Dad agree on him performing the ceremony.

Thanks everyone! My dad was like "I love you baby girl but I want to watch you get married to a good man from a seating position and watch the love of God unfold." know he had to give a pastor/dad answer = lol. My Uncle is a pastor as well (which totally slipped my mind since he retired) but he said I'll do it!!! So, we are all happy in the furtureperkins household!!!

I find it pretty amazing that people who will drop 200 bucks on a candy buffet with little contemplation will consider this a perfectly rational way to make a decision as important as this. That's not the way you choose; you did the right thing, Ashley. You asked him what he wanted and he told you.

Here is another thought, not necessarily for you but for anyone who has a pastor in the family.

A church pastor is not necessarily the best person to do a wedding. Writing and performing a wedding is a very specific skill set. In a way, it's like asking your cousin because, hey, he can get legal. That's not what it's about.

My officiant Michael did a legal wedding last weekend for a couple whose best friend is going to marry them in a couple of months at their family ceremony. He wasn't even back in the office before they texted me to see if he was free for their wedding.

I"m glad this worked out for you and your dad can enjoy the day as a dad.

Thank you! I felt it important to ask him instead of assuming that he would. I feel better. Whew! My Uncle does weddings as a profession on his off days. Shame I forgot all about that but it definitely worked out!

The father/pastor wants to maintain manipulation over his daughter. a lot of these part time pastors who don’t preach professionally want to do this to their daughters. It is a not so subtle way of maintaining judgement over the relationship and a narcissistic way of controlling the daughter. The word of God cant come down and fall directly on to the husband and wife. What the father/pastor says is the upmost importance and source of guidance ... this is not a healthy thing for the marriage and it will continue to be a problem guaranteed. It’s narcissism and a need to control and dominate your daughters. I commend the fathers / pastors who refused. That takes a big man. The fathers and pastors who want to take center stage is the sign of a little man, and it will certainly lead to big problems down the road of love and marriage. Separating from the father and mother and creating a new SEPARATE family is the essence of what marriage is really about. This is not a good way to start and I don’t advise it... speaking from experience