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Beginner November 2019

Pregnancy Planning

Samantha, on February 24, 2021 at 9:13 AM

Posted in Married Life 32

My husband and I got married a little over a year ago and have been together for about 7.5 years. We've talked about children for years, and finally feel like we're in a position to take out birth control! We are 23 and 24, and keep hearing things such as: "You should travel more together",...

My husband and I got married a little over a year ago and have been together for about 7.5 years. We've talked about children for years, and finally feel like we're in a position to take out birth control! Smiley laugh We are 23 and 24, and keep hearing things such as: "You should travel more together", "You're too young", "Take some time to just be married". While I understand the concerns, we both grew up in military families and have a wide concept of travel. We are both in jobs in our degree fields where I feel stable enough to take maternity leave in 9 months. We've lived together for 5 years, and have taken vacations together. Do you have any advice on beginning this journey of family planning?

32 Comments

  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    It can take a while to conceive, and it typically gets more difficult as you get older. While I was no where ready to have a kid at 24, if you and your partner are committed to one another and supporting your children, and you are financially and emotionally ready, you can start young!

    I'm 35 and my husband and I are out of time, but if we could wait longer I think we would because of how the pandemic is impacting pregnancy and parenting. In addition to the obvious unknown health risks of Covid and the Covid vaccine during pregnancy, there are a lot of other factors at play. In many areas, partners are not allowed to go to prenatal appointments with their pregnant wives/girlfriends, so the woman ends up having the burden of relaying info to her partner and not having her partner there with her during appointments that are sometimes routine, sometimes exciting, and sometimes terrifying. Do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time and not have your husband there with you? Can you imagine being told you lost the baby, and being alone when that happens? I'm dreading those things. For my pregnant friends, most of them say the partner is allowed at the birth with them, but nothing else. In addition to that, there are the lamaze/childbirthing classes that may or may not be offered due to the pandemic, and your husband may not be able to go with you, or they may be online and you won't get to meet other expecting moms for support. You may not be able to safely have a baby shower, and when the baby is born it might not be as simple as having a relative or friend watch your baby when you need a break. Getting your kid it daycare is likely going to be even tougher than it was before. Becoming a first time mom is scary enough; with the pandemic it has become extremely isolating and all of the supports you would normally have might not be as accessible. I feel like if I was only 24 and had plenty of childbearing time ahead of me, I would likely wait to start trying at least until closer to the end of the year, when most are vaccinated and we start to reach herd immunity and there is a little more leniency with having a more normal pregnancy with ample access to support services. Even if you delay by just a year or two, you are young enough that you should still have plenty of time to figure out your fertility and have a big family if that is what you want.

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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    I Couldn't agree more with Caytlyn.
    I'm not sure why they even think that You're too young. Unless they show you a law that stating there is an age requirement/restriction.
    You and you man know your couple better than anyone else do. No one else knows when you guys are ready for this.
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    Do what makes you happy

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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    This, but I would remove "at times".
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  • A
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Alina ·
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    Hey Veronica, thanks for your post. I also was just diagnosed with PCOS and my (soon-to-be) husband and I wanted to start trying to get pregnant after our wedding next month. What medicine did you take to get pregnant? I would really appreciate to hear more about your (success) story.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Well I didn't have a period for about 8 months after coming off birth control so I had to take progesterone to induce my period. I was on that for about two months before it started coming on its own. They had me start taking Letrozole while on the progesterone and I continued to take it after I stopped the progesterone. I took the Letrozole for a total of five months when I found out I was pregnant. If I hadn't gotten pregnant after taking it for six months then my husband and I would have had to go to a fertility specialist. We conceived our daughter five days after our one year wedding anniversary. I am due May 1st, but wouldn't be surprised if she comes early since she is measuring two weeks ahead. I will tell you that Letrozole can cause multiples which I honestly was hoping for as I always wanted twins, but it didn't happen in my case. There is always that chance though by taking an ovulation medicine like Letrozole.
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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh God! I hate that part:"How do your parents feel about you not giving them grandkids? Isn't that really selfish of you?" My fiancee and I are in a pretty similar boat: she is 25, I'm 24 (let's be clear,I'm a man😄), we DO want (at least) one kid but ... we want to enjoy 5-6 years childless of married life before she gets pregnant. We are both "already ready" but we will wait untill she turns 30-31, I turn 29-30 . Both sets of parents keep sticking their nose in OUR business : " you should try as soon as the day after the wedding" or my parents: "before your future wife turns 28" (I'm not sure why this number is set in their mind 🤔) , even though they know we don't care about they want us to do. So I definitely know where you're coming from.Plus: when my parents got married, my mom was pregnant with me (2,5 months): it was regarded as a sin by most people back then, including their (pretty traditional) parents ; but they still think they have business telling us when we should have our 1st kid ...
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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh God! I hate that part:"How do your parents feel about you not giving them grandkids? Isn't that really selfish of you?"
    My fiancee and I are in a pretty similar boat: she is 25, I'm 24 (let's be clear,I'm a man😄), we DO want (at least) one kid but ... we want to enjoy 5-6 years childless of married life before she gets pregnant. We are both "already ready" but we will wait untill she turns 30-31, I turn 29-30 . Both sets of parents keep sticking their nose in OUR business : " you should try as soon as the day after the wedding" or my parents: "before your future wife turns 28" (I'm not sure why this number is set in their mind 🤔) , even though they know we don't care about they want us to do. So, I definitely know where you're coming from.
    Plus: my mother was pregnant with me when my parents got married, it was regarded as a sin by most people back then, including their (pretty traditional) parents ; but they still think they have business telling us when we should have our 1st kid ...
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  • F
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Sorry but I' m still shocked by "How do your parents feel about you not giving them grandkids? Isn't that really selfish of you?"
    If I'm allowed to give an unsolicited advice 😇 I would reply " My parents know our position on this but would assume we would "give" them one (or more) grandkids to please them or because couples are 'expected' to make one?
    Wouldn't that be selfish of them ?"
    I know myself pretty much 🙂, I would be "naughty" if someone (not rude/impolite/disrespectful) but definitely "naughty", they would IMMEDIATELY stop bothering me or my fiancee on this.


    no matter who the person is, including my parents,grandma ...
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  • M
    Expert April 2021
    Melody ·
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    Oi, yeah, I get it. I usually just stare at them like they've suddenly sprouted about 3 extra heads until they either get so uncomfortable that they try to leave or backpedal or they realize that they were being super rude with that question. Whatever works, right? haha

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  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
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    Firstly sometimes it can take a while to conceive they say to try not and stress but that's hard. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT. Seriously while pregnant I sort of hated it but once my baby was here I sort of missed being pregnant.

    Secondly don't listen to others, they are not you. Our favorite thing we did was not tell people the name we chose and it drove everyone NUTS! Hahaha highly recommend. They are going to just judge the name before the baby is here anyways, if you wait it's less likely to criticize when there is an adorable face behind it.

    Also take a good prenatal vitamin, find a good doctor, and know your plans will change. It's the first part of parenthood and it starts early. Especially now, I don't know what a delivery 9 months from now looks like with Covid restrictions or hopefully they will be lax. I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant and the only thing we can really plan for is hoping when the time comes our son is able to come up to the hospital to visit.

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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    Ugh, definitely ignore what everyone has to say! Only you two truly know when the timing is perfect. We have had people ask us when the heck we were going to start having kids and that was obnoxious, too! We are now 32 and 33, graduated with our doctorates, traveled all over the world, own a beautiful house and new cars, and have no debt - after our wedding in Sept - we got pregnant the next day and it has been the most perfect blessing and timing for us! If you know you know ♥️ Just let people say what they want and move on or reply with it’s all about perfect timing for us and we feel it is now! As far as covid, husband was not allowed at the first ultrasound, but he was on FaceTime! Literally nothing else has been affected, thankfully and we are entering third trimester! Best wishes!!!
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