pregnant bridesmaid drama

These are my thoughts? Maybe I am wrong

1. We are leaning to a childless destination wedding, so with a new baby that wouldn't work for them (which is completely fine because I do realize a child is more important than a wedding

2. it would be my worst nightmare to go to a wedding have to wear a dress that is to tight, and its hot and I am 7 months pregnant and just want to put sweat pants on and not be standing up in front of some ones family while i am sweating my baby bump off.

3. babies are expensive. destination weddings are expensive. I feel like the child should come before my wedding.

It is not in any way that i don't want them there, just that I don't want them to feel obligated to go because they said they would be in the bridal party. So I would still ask them to come and maybe not have a bridal party?

if you are/were pregnant would would want to be in the bridal party?

Also as a side note, I know that they will not be pregnant when the wedding is, but two plan on having babies back to back, which is great! I am happy.

I guess its more of a question with some unintentional hurt feelings.

If they are pregnant now, then the won't be pregnant in mid-July. Pregnancies are limited to 40 weeks

So I don't fully understand: You want to ask them, but you haven't. Now you are thinking that you are being rude by not asking them because you assume that it would be too much for them to juggle? If you haven't asked them, and you don't want to, then don't.

One of my BM's just had a baby last week, but she is still a BM. My wedding is only a few miles from her house though, not destination.

I was typing very slowly when you put up your clarification, so now I look like an idiot.

I still don't think I fully understand your dilema. I think you are overthinking things way too much.

Just ask them. I was 32 weeks pregnant at my bffs wedding I was her moh I just bought a maternity dress in the same color dress the other girls wore and her other moh was pregnant as well but only about 4 months

I'm not entirely sure what the dilemma is either. You mentioned this to your best friend and she disagreed with your thought process and it's making you second guess yourself?

If you're truly worried about their circumstances and nothing else (and would otherwise ask them to be in the wedding), then why not let them know all the details and let them make the choice themselves? If there are other reasons you don't want to ask them (including superficial...it's your day, your choice), then don't ask them.

Just talk to them...if you don't want kids at your wedding, that is your choice. If they are ok with it then cool ...if not I am sure they will understand Good luck.

I'd ask them. Don't make them feel left out. Let them make that decision themselves.... Just make it clear regardless of answer you won't be offended.

It may hurt their feelings if you don't ask and they think you're that close.

I agree, ask them and tell them you understand everything you've outlined so well-- that babies are expensive, traveling is expensive, etc. Whether they accept or decline to be in your BP they'll be delighted you asked and touched by your thoughtfulness about their pregnancies and babies. You sound like a good friend.

Same issue today. My MOH will be 8.5 months pregnant. I burst into tears when she told me.

I agree with the other posters about talking with them. One of my bridesmaids got pregnant after all my girls had been fitted in and ordered their dresses, so now we are in the process of exchanging them all because my previous color was discontinued. However, despite the minor setbacks, I couldn't imagine my wedding without all my girls in it.

You are (or should be) asking these women to be in your wedding because they are important to you. For me, the fact that one of my girls is pregnant doesn't diminish her importance to me and my want for her to be in the wedding.

Your wedding day is about you and your fiance, but it should also be about celebrating with the people you love. So what if you can't put them in a super-skinny dress, stilletto shoes, or they've got a baby belly? The presence of people you love, no matter what their size or condition, should be what's most important to you.

I understand where you are coming from due to the DW plans. I would talk to them and let them know how you feel about it and then leave it up to them but give them a deadline to let you know if they think they can be a part of your BP.