Prenup? Any experience?

Following! I don't think it's a bad omen, it's good to protect yourself, but I have no experience with this so I am looking forward to see what others have to say.

I think it depends on the couple, honestly. My ex-husband and I would not have benefitted from a prenup. Perhaps talk to a lawyer and ask for professional advice.

We didn't do one, but neither of us have any assets at all anyway. In your case, it might be worth it to protect your son, if that's a thing they put in them.

As for the student loan debt, I'm of the opinion that when you are married you share all debt and assets. I have quite a bit of student loans and we are going to work to pay them off together.

To me I kind of think its a bad omen. Yes you never know what might happen but its almost saying "this may not last forever." I get protecting yourself if you have A LOT of money. I'm talking you need to be a celebrity money or if you own your own business before the relationship started. Other than that I think its completely unnecessary.

Also if he has student loans, which happened before you I think in court you wouldn't have to pay them unless you cosigned.

FH used to jokingly say he wanted a prenump, I guess to protect his run down ATV or his 15 year old rusty truck? lol. But seeing as we have equal amounts of nothing, we are not doing one. I wouldn't have a problem with it if I were marrying a wealthy man, but unless you have something to protect or protect yourself from I don't think they are necessary. I am not sure how all that would work with a child in the picture, but if it makes you feel more at ease and the other party agrees to it, I don't see a problem with it. If you want one and he refuses, you need to evaluate how important it is for you to have one.

As long as your prenup doesn't state that the marriage is over if you gain 15 pounds.

^^^ @lucy I just lol

We are not getting one, but I have asked FH if he wants one. I do not, for a second, think it's any way looking down on the relationship. Things happens and you want to make sure both of you will be okay if something does happen. Usually, when emotions are high, people do mean things. I think they are important for someone who has a lot of wealth, someone who has children, or someone who has family money. A friend of ours just got into his 30s and he is single. He has over $1 million in his retirement accounts, has other investment accounts and has his own $200k home. I think he should definitely get one. But with us, we didn't do it because I don't have any money and he had some but not a lot. And it's draining now because of the wedding. But I still kept making sure that he was comfortable not having one.

I think it can be important to protect certain assets, like you thinking about your son's future and any trustfund or savings you have for him. FH and I have no significant assets separate from our home together, so a pre-nup doesn't make sense in our situation.

I agree with Melissa. Unless you have a lot of money or property, I don't think it's necessary. Unless you both agree to it and insist on getting a prenup.

I work for a Family Law attorney and the one pre-nup we did was a disaster. FW wanted the pre-nup and the guy (our client) said "sure it wont matter anyway, we wont need it". Once we received the pre-nup, the drama started. He was shocked how much she divided from him. Just one example was his business's profit was half hers but her business profit was all hers. It made him realize that if it came down to divorce, she would solely benefit from it. He was so infuriated he was one phone call away from calling off the marriage. After a month of drama, he signed it and they got married. **facepalm**

If my marriage started out like that, I would run for the hills if I were that guy.

IMO- Tread lightly my friend.

I don't think it's a bad omen.

I don't think it's a bad omen; it's being realistic. People can change over the course of a lifetime.

Most of the couples that I know of who had one (and it's a very, very small number) did so because there was family property involved (real estate, businesses, etc), and in the two cases I can remember the party who would benefit from the family assets initiated the pre nup.

FH and I do not have enough assets to require a pre nup. We have our house but it is in both our names so one of us would have to buy the other out or it would be sold. If either of us had a ton of money or a business we would most likely have done one just to be safe.

Smart whether you have assets now or not, especially if there are children involved. I know a case where a woman lost nearly everything to the man's children by a former marriage--because he had taken the time to cement his assets for them alone. She was in her late 60's when he died--and she lost the house, the money, the lifestyle--and the children had no incentive to make sure she was going to be taken care of down the road. She walked away with very little. Lesson learned.

DH and I discussed having one. We ultimately decided it wasn't worth it. Hiring a lawyer or even doing it through LegalZoom would have cost more than it would have been worth to us. Neither of us came into our marriage with significant assets, and we've put each other through school, so as far as marital property, I think we should split it if anything ever happened, and we live in a community property state, so that's what would happen.

I think they definitely make sense if one person has significant assets or if one of you owns a business with a partner or have family assets or children from previous relationships. Just wasn't worth it in our case.

I don't think its a bad omen. Congratulations on being in a couple where only one of you has student loan debt lol.

My older sister had one in her first marriage, and it ended up being null and void - she signed it she was pregnant and therefore under duress. I guess in Oregon, being asked to sign something you are unsure about while 7 months pregnant is not legally binding. So be careful and make sure both parties know what it's all about. We have a prenup of sorts - unless we have children together, I cannot inherit any interest in his grandparents land...his parents own it now, it's quite valuable and it's been in the family forever. I don't want it, it's not mine. But his ex-wife tried to get it (or some of her perceived value of it) in their divorce, so I get where they're coming from.

You have a son from another relationship? I would think you were naïve to NOT get a prenup.

Years ago I would have had many negative things to say about a prenup. And if FH approached me with it now I probably still wouldn't like it. But here is the reality...anything is possible with anyone.

The following is not necessarily true:

You may think you know your SO better than you know yourself.

You may think your SO is incapable of certain behavior.

You may think it could never happen to you.

Pick up a newspaper or turn on the news, and....

That perfect marriage has a second family two towns over! Or that spouse that couldn't hurt a fly is giving Hannibal Lecter a run for his money!

Now, I'm exaggerating with a little humor thrown in....but it's true, unexpected crap happens. Your SO can shock the hell out of you.

So now I figure prenups can't be all that bad....just in case