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Just Said Yes October 2020

Private Ceremony Dilemma

Sarah, on June 5, 2019 at 10:25 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 6

Hello All,

I would love some advice or opinions on a dilemma regarding our ceremony. We both want a small ceremony and a big reception. It will just be immediate family at the ceremony and everyone else (friends, extended family, co-workers) will go straight to the reception for cocktail hour. We will not be having a bridal party. On the big day i want a few close friends with me while i get ready and then they will stay for the ceremony since there already there. My close friends significant others are not invited to the ceremony and they are ok with this. I would like my fiance to do the same since its only fair and he shouldn't have to get ready by his self. However, he says he will not have any of his close friends there because there significant others will be upset since there not invited to the ceremony. I dont think this is fair. There significant others are friends of mine but there not my close friends. How can i explain this to there significant others without them being hurt? Does anyone have advice on how i can handle this situation?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on June 5, 2019 at 2:46 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    If you say there's not really space then they should be ok with it. with weddings, whether or not we can accommodate people is really due to space and budget and in your case you're just having a small intimate wedding where space is restricted

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You shouldn’t divide couples. Either the entire couple should be invited to the ceremony or none of it. You’re already treading a fine line here by having any friends at your “intimate” ceremony, I don’t see how politely inviting your friends significant others is going to change anything. I wouldn’t attend a wedding where my FW wasn’t welcome. Why would I come celebrate your relationship when you clearly don’t respect mine?
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  • Lizbeth
    Devoted May 2020
    Lizbeth ·
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    I'm doing this and in the invites I just put "come celebrate" instead of "come to the actual wedding" you know what I mean? There's like examples on the websters, anyway... But if I invite a wife to the ceremony I would invite the husband as well... It's only logical. It's kinda rude but I mean... I get it. It's a sticky situation and I might be a bit tipsy I'm sorry hope I'm making sence lol
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  • Madison
    Dedicated August 2020
    Madison ·
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    First, I personally would not attend a ceremony or reception where my FH was not invited. I’m assuming you’ve had this candid conversation with your friends. Why include some of these “close friends” and not their other half, especially those that are married? If they are that close to you, then their significant other should be just as important.

    Either way, it’s your day. If future hubby doesn’t want people with him to not split couples or upset people, then you should follow suit to avoid the awkwardness that will come from one of you inviting people to the ceremony and one of you not.

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I think it's weird to separate couple's, especially if they are married. I'd probably be offended if my husband was invited and I wasn't too, my husband probably wouldn't go to be honest.
    If your husband is uncomfortable uninviting people maybe you should respect that and account for a larger ceremony or have no friends at all.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I agree with PPs saying separating couples isn't a good idea. This can cause lots of hurt feelings and drama, even if you don't intend to!

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