Problems with parents paying for the wedding

Our parents also paid for our wedding, so I can definitely relate! My parents and my husband's parents split all of the costs down the middle 50/50, so we had 2 sets of parents to deal with in terms of making decisions and compromises. In my family and social circle, it's very common for parents to pay for their children's weddings. I will admit that the planning experience wasn't the easiest process because we essentially had 6 people with a stake in the decision making. In the end, many compromises were made, and we didn't get our 'way' on everything, but we still had an amazing wedding. However, our situation was different from yours in that our wedding cost six figures, and we were not in a position to pay for a wedding of this caliber ourselves. So we did not have the leverage that you do have. But in any case, I think it's really nice that your parents want to pay for your wedding. I do think it's reasonable for your parents to be able to invite their friends, but completely unreasonable for them to decide who is in your bridal party. I think your best option would be to have an honest conversation with your parents to determine some mutual understanding of who should have a say in which decisions. For example, everything related to your bridal party (selection, attire, etc). should really be 100% your domain. But I see the overall guest list as an area where compromises can be made. Whatever you decide, you got this! Wishing you the best of luck

Elizabeth,
I'm so sorry you're going through this hun! It is so generous for them to pay for it, but seems like he's using money to get his way on how YOUR wedding should go? I would definitely draw up that contract, and just make sure they don't add or modify anything. Make sure to also come up with some type of consequence (I'm not sure if that would be the right term in this sense lol) if something in the contract has been breached.

Make sure to understand where each side is coming from. Seek other solutions such as compromises. Also make sure there are no strings attached by them doing certain things, or when they do pay for the whole wedding. Ask your parents questions such as, "By doing this, does this bring some type of importance to you?", "By doing this, are you only looking into it benefiting for you, and not for me and my FH?", 'What are your expectations within the future by going with decision?", etc.

Originally my mother was against me having a microwedding, and told me how I couldn't do that. So, I told her that whoever she wanted to invite she would then pay for. It's not because my FH and I did not have the money to do so, but we just wanted it to be more intimate. However, she heard my side of the story as to why I wanted a smaller wedding, and could tell how passionate I was about going forward with it. Found out that she wanted me to have a big wedding only just for show towards our other relatives. I feel like it's a cultural thing too. But she came to her senses and knew how toxic that was of her to think that way. I know certain family members are going to judge and be upset for not being chosen to attend, but at the end of the day it was not about them at all.

Good luck hun!!

I would write up a contract to get on the same page or pay for it