Processional with Divorced Parents?

FH's are divorced. And while they are speaking now, because of the wedding, they usually don't. I guess it's a little different because they're not my parents. But FH will walk his mother down and his father will walk with his new girlfriend. However, his father did say that he would request his girlfriend be seated if FH wanted to escort his parents together. They are sitting in the same row but we are putting family members in between them just in case.

I think you should still do a seating of the parents. Especially if it will mean a lot to FMIL. You can either have your dad walk you down, have your mom escorted by a GM, and have FMIL escort his mother/parents in. OR have your dad walk down solo (can shake hands on the way down the aisle, say hello, etc), have your mom escorted in, have FMIL escort his parents in.

My parents have been divorced for over 30 years. My mom raised me and my brothers. I'm fine with my dad, but we don't have that "father daughter" relationship that creates Hallmark cards.

At first I was just going to have him walk me, then I thought about my mom and dad walking me together. Mom wanted none of that (30 years of bad blood takes a while to go away...)

I wanted to include my brothers somehow because we've been through everything together. Mom's idea was to have them walk me down the isle. I LOVE that idea. So that's what we are doing. My parents will walk down the isle with their partners.

When it all came down to it, I had to choose what felt right for me.

Oh and they aren't "giving me away".... just walking me down the aisle and then standing on my side.

@NancyCtoA it sounds like we have very similar situations!! my mom isn't as jaded about it all, but my dad wants nothing to do with her. I've also considered having my brother walk me down the aisle, but neither of my parents are remarried/dating so there's still the problem of figuring that all out. Here's one option we've come up with so far:

1. My brother escorts my mom (seated with groom's family)

2. FH with his parents

3. Me with my dad (or alone, and then maybe my sister escorts my dad before I enter but that seems weird?? lol)

I don't think the choice of having your dad walk with you down the aisle should have anything to do with your mom (unless he was abusive or something like that). If you have a cordial/good relationship with him and you want to give him a "dad" moment, then walk with him.

Have you thought about how you're seating them at the ceremony? One of my friends had a situation similar to yours. Her dad got to walk her down the aisle, but her mom got the front row aisle seat. Her dad sat in the second row aisle seat (they indicated that neither wanted to sit in the same row as the other)

I had both of my parents walk me down the aisle. They have been divorced for 20 years as well, although they are totally cordial.

I couldn't imagine having done it any other way.

@MrsSki My mom will be seated with the groom's side in the front row, and then my dad will be seated on the opposite side with my sister and her kids.

@Anne @Carrie you're both lucky to have divorced parents that are willing to do that! I can't remember the last time I was in a room with both of them and so that idea gives me more anxiety than figuring out an alternative.

I'm having neither of my parents walk me down the aisle. I'm having my grandmother walk me down since she is the one who raised me since I was 10 months old.

@SuperStuelke That's a great idea! I wish my grandparents were still around.

@ShellyZ I think it's fine if your brother escorts your mom and then walk back around to walk you down the aisle. Your dad doesn't "need" to be escorted. But it could go....

* Your mom, escorted by your brother.

* Your dad, escorted by you sister.

This might help:

http://www.noahsweddings.com/wedding-processional-order/

My parents are divorced and I'm having them both walk me down the aisle. FH's parents will walk him down as well, I think it's a great way to honor them. I'm not really close with my dad, but honestly I figured I was more okay with having him and my mom both than dealing with him being upset about it. For seating, I'm having my mom in the front row and my dad and his wife (not part of the processional) in the second, with my siblings and grandparents split between the two rows.

@carrie I hear you! lol I WISH I wanted them to walk me down the aisle but even the idea of it gives me major anxiety.

My mom passed away 9 years ago and I didn't meet my dad until I was 18 ( I'm 30 now). He wasn't ever really in my life. We get along great but just aren't super involved in each other's lives. We typically check in with each other every 3-6 months. So my dad isn't even getting an invite. I'm having my step dad and my godmother walk me down the aisle and my step dads new wife is my MOH (I've known her since I was 12 and she was good friends with my mom) so I'll be seating my step dad and godmother together since my stepdads wife will be standing next to me. Funny how life never seems to work out the way it gets planned. We're a "just roll with it" kind of family.

I feel like it's only one day that is completely dedicated to you and your FH and everyone that cares should just kinda suck it up and get along because they love you. Good luck.

ETA: words

Yes @Carrie. EXACTLY!

If you are feeling anxious over it, then do whatever takes away the anxiety. For me, once I made my choice it felt like a weight was lifted.

@NancyCtoA That's great advice. Can I just disinvite my family real quick then?

So for now, I'm thinking:

1. FH's two sisters with their grandpa (he'll be seated groom's side front row. Our wedding day is also his birthday!)

2. My sister, her kids and my dad (bride's side)

3. My brother and mother (groom's side to avoid tension with my dad)

4. FH and his parents

5. Flower girl

6. Me!

I don't have divorced parents as they never married and my dads in prison lol but I believe that they are adults and should be able to put their differences aside for the ten minutes it could take to be near each other to do this for YOU. It's not hard to stand next to someone and say nothing. Maybe you can sit and talk with you mom and see if she could be civil during this time and then go to your dad saying the situation and that your mother has agreed to be civil. I'm sure he would be grown enough to put anything aside.