Looking for kind words or advice!
I'm 99% sure the proposal is happening on Saturday - we do have a date and venue booked already, very much on the same page. Mildly untraditional 😂.
That being said, I'm all of a sudden SO anxious about the proposal, but only because I'm terrified of what I will look like in photos/videos. In my late 20s I gained a significant amount of weight on a medication and have never been able to lose it, nor have I fully accepted my new body.
I absolutely hate pictures and videos of myself. Seeing them gives me the ickiest gut feeling of shame, and I'm working with my therapist on this. I'm so afraid that the anxiety about this will ruin my entire vibe for the beautiful weekend we have planned, and ultimately ruin my face when he is on his knee 🥲 I do have a significant amount of trauma from past relationships regarding proposals already, so adding this to it is just making me almost dread the proposal itself. I feel awful that I'm feeling this way and think I'm spiraling.
This man is incredible and makes me feel supported and beautiful, no matter the number on the scale. I'm so excited to be his fiancé and wife. I just know when I look at pictures of the proposal (or engagement photos and wedding photos for that matter) I'm going to be filled with this awful, shameful feeling. Also terrified of wedding dress shopping, but that is an anxiety for a different day. Anyone else go through this?
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