Proposing. Just the two of us or with her family there?

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Your friends and family don’t get a say in this. If you want a private moment then stand your ground and do that. They can have a big production when one of them gets engaged.

View Quoted Comment She loves surprises. She won’t even see this coming! We both know that at some point, I’m going to propose. We know that we are going to be married. But, she has NO IDEA that I’m going to propose.
I’d actually like to have this happen in private, but I think that maybe she might like her parents to be there. I don’t know. My best friend said that watching his son propose to his girlfriend was one of the best moments of his entire life. He was witness to his son’s dreams come true. Sooooo. I’m torn.

View Quoted Comment You should focus on what she would like, for this, and what you think she’d like.

View Quoted Comment That sounds AMAZING. That’s what I’m looking for. I know that she will say yes. She is going to cry. I’m probably going to as well. I have to bring her home! I don’t know that I want to share this with anyone else.

View Quoted Comment I would tell her mom that you had something very special planned for her daughter, and that you appreciate the offer and will take her up on it next time guaranteed. Hopefully that should be fine. Boundaries are important anyway, so don't feel bad not doing everything they suggest. No one can live life that way. Especially when it comes to such a big life event like this.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I’m still thinking about a private moment. We already know where we will marry.

View Quoted Comment I think it’s just us.

View Quoted Comment Honestly I would pick somewhere romantic for the two of you!! And then do a surprise for her parents together?

From my experience, just the two of you, but everyone is different. My fiancée had dropped hints that having other people there would have been awkward.

If you want it to be a private moment then do it!! Dont feel pressured to do anything other than what you and she want to do.

My husband proposed while we were away on a trip. He did propose in front of a whole restaurant, but it was only the two of us on a trip. We text and let our families know.

View Quoted Comment If you want to do it alone then that’s what your should do. Don’t let anyone push you to do otherwise.

View Quoted Comment She is an only child. Her parents and I have a REALLY good relationship. We have maintained a long distance relationship. I’m giving her a really great ring and I am dying to give it to her. My best buddy said that watching his son propose to his girlfriend was one of the best moments of his life. Being present to see his son’s dreams come true. I’m thinking about this...

Wedding planning lesson number one: EVERYONE else will have an opinion on every choice you make. Don’t let that get in the way of your own!


It sounds like you want a private proposal and it sounds like that would be right for you guys. Forget everyone else’s opinions. Yours matters, hers matters, everything else is background noise

Agree this is 100% personal preference. It sounds like you suspect she'd prefer it to be a private moment and if she's close with her family, maybe have them nearby and ready to congratulate you right after vs. witness the moment itself. Does she have a really close friend she confides in who you could check with? She may have shared the kinds of proposals she loves vs. those that would mortify her - I had. My FH consulted my closest friend who knows my thoughts on pretty much every topic - she was able to tell him that his proposal plan was perfect for me when everyone else (his sisters, my mom) was telling him it might be a bad idea. But he and my best friend know me best, and they were right. :-)

FH wanted to propose on Christmas Eve at my aunts house in front of my whole family (4 aunts and uncles, 9 cousins (4 of them have SO's that would have been present) and my mom, dad and brother. I HATE being the center of attention so he opted against it, the only reason he thought it would be a good idea is because Christmas Eve at my aunts is my favorite night of the year.

Thankfully (or unthankfully) we got Covid two weeks before Christmas and our last day of quarantine fell on Christmas eve so that was canceled this year and he ended up doing it on Christmas Day in front of just my parents which was perfect for us.

I would say, I LOVE the engagement videos where the engagement is just the two people and then there's a surprise party waiting with all family and friends to celebrate (I lowkey wish my FH was a planner like this and had done something similar), so that could be a great compromise if you want the actual engagement to be just between the two of you but still celebrate with family immediately after!

View Quoted Comment I’m probably going to propose to her with her parents there. It’s important to me to make them understand that I am going to take care of her from here on out.

Like other people have said I think what you want and what you believe your SO would like is more important than anyone else's opinion. Since you truly imagine you proposing to her in a certain way and don't believe she would be completely against it, do what you want! A proposal should be important to both the person proposing and the person being proposed to. It seems like you've put a ton of thought into this and you and her both deserve this moment together.

My fiancé proposed at one of my favorite places with absolutely no one else around. His mom was pretty upset we didn't have anyone photograph or record the proposal but I had made it clear that it was important to me there was no one else around whenever it happened.

View Quoted Comment I have been sharing all of this with her bestie. They have been best friends for decades. I am a very private person, I don’t have any family left, everyone is gone. It’s just me. I don’t have kids. Everyone tells me to make it a family affair. She and I have been surviving a long distance relationship with 3 hour one way drives every single weekend since we met. Everyone tells me to share this. They do not understand what we have endured, what we have given up, just to see each other.

View Quoted Comment She has NO IDEA that this is coming. I went yard, I have gotten her an amazing ring. I am just dying to give it to her.