Pros & Cons

View Quoted Comment My sister tried it and it was very painful for her. She also had such severe issues with it that she was told that she will need a hysterectomy. I know that's a severe case and extremely rare but it's a little too close to home for me.

For me it was more so making it OFFICIAL OFFICIAL. Obviously we were already committed to each other but idk it seemed like a huge step to actually legally get married and I love it.


I love the fact that I can say my husband now & that our household has the same last name ❤️

View Quoted Comment Ok no worries. Sorry to hear that. I dont use any hormonal contraception now.

View Quoted Comment Okay thanks for sharing. I don't plan on changing my last name and I always disagreed with that American tradition.

View Quoted Comment I'm sure it would work great for 99% of women. She has several issues that prevent her from using a lot of things. It wouldn't be as convenient for me but others do great with it.

View Quoted Comment That was never a question for me!

A huge part is the "security" factor. I knew he wasn't going anywhere, but I had been in the hospital once, and he couldn't make decisions for me. We ended up having a legal document for him to do just that... but now he doesn't need one. (Otherwise, that fell to my mother. We all know how well that goes.)

My parents divorced when I was 16, so I've felt kind of at odds and ends about family ever since. Never really was able to create steady traditions - my dad and stepmom moved across the country when I was in my 20s, so to be able to say, "he's my family" about DH... means a whole lot.

Also, it's just a deeper level of relationship.

It's REALLY fun to say, "husband."

View Quoted Comment

I had the patch for nearly 15 years, and it was great.

Word of warning, though: it really is dependent on your weight. I struggled with being underweight for years (hypoglycemia + anxiety + abusive relationship = NOT GREAT, BOB), and if I got too low, the patch would just make me so sick. I've heard that it isn't useful over a certain weight, as well.

On the other hand, it's a handy visual reminder that, "nope, no baby!"

View Quoted Comment Yes that's the best way to put it. I couldn't think of the words but that's exactly how I feel. Great minds think alike.

View Quoted Comment That's a personal decision and many women don't. It's odd changing my name at 38 but I have always wanted to take my husband's last name. I am traditional in that aspect.

View Quoted Comment Gotcha. Okay, thanks for sharing Kristen!

View Quoted Comment Yes, getting married at 17 like both my mom in FMIL did is very different compared to getting married in one's 30s. Yes, it's a personal choice but I wish the American culture or status quo didn't have women changing their name.

View Quoted Comment Are you not from the US? I ask because I know some other countries don't. I wouldn't think of it as an American culture thing because I have friends from various countries and some change it and some don't. I think it's more like others said it's having a one name house hold. I think it's just more tradition vs modern times. It's OK to not change your name but to me that's just a value I wanted since I was a kid.

View Quoted Comment Correct, I'm not from the US. I've lived in five different countries and have traveled to over 50. I can assure you, two thirds of tge world do not follow that practice of women changing their last names after marriage. Even in countries where Americans believe women have horrible lives such as Saudi Arabia and Iran, the women there do not change their last names.

View Quoted Comment Fair point. And it's okay that feel it's outdated but I think for many women they just like the idea of taking their husband's last name. My husband could careless but for me personally it was important to take his last name not because of an American tradition. I am American but I have traveled and some American customs I definitely do not agree with as well as other countries. I feel there are various reasons to why a person may or may not take their spouse's name down to feminist reasons or for some of my friends not feeling a loss of identity. Even for me.its a little odd changing my name because I have identified with it for so long but I also want my husband's last name. I am making my maiden name one of my middle names. I think the reasons vary for women.

We've been together for 8 years, so I think a lot of things will be similar but a lot will also be different.

I'm looking forward to:

- Budgeting being easier because we'll have combined accounts (it takes us a while now to completely figure out our budget when we have to look at two accounts)

- Getting to celebrate wedding anniversaries and each year feeling like more of an accomplishment

- Eventually going off birth control. I probably won't go off it right away, and I don't have problems/side effects with it anyway, but it will be nice to feel more comfortable with an unplanned pregnancy. We've been dating since I was 16, so there have been many years spent being super super cautious about pregnancy prevention haha.

- Honestly, people taking us more seriously. I feel like we've talked to so many people over the years who hear "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and think we're not very committed. They're always surprised when we say that, yes we've been together for years, and yes we do plan to get married. I think just having that title of being married makes people less skeptical. I know that shouldn't matter, but it's an annoyance we won't have to deal with.

- Health insurance! I someday want to be a full time freelancer, so I won't have my own health insurance, and would like to be able to go on my husband's work plan.

- Many, many more years of fun. He's really my best friend and I get so excited thinking that we could have 70+ more years together. I already feel like that's not enough time to fit in everything we want to do together.

Things I'm not really looking forward to:

- The wedding being over haha. We don't want to start having kids for several more years, so I feel like I'll feel a little bummed once that big milestone of the wedding has come and gone. It's something I've looked forward to for most of my life, and I've already gotten the college degrees that I'm planning to get, so there's not really another big ceremony to look forward to until we have kids.

- People asking when we're going to have kids. Sooo many people have asked us when we'll get married for, like, the last five years. Considering we're waiting until our late 20s or early 30s to have kids, I'm not looking forward to several more years of those questions.