PSA: Serve Alcohol at Your Wedding

@Brittany I'm just salty about a friends wedding that I was a BM in. After all the money I spent on her wedding she had the nerve to tell us to bring our own beverages. Her whole wedding breached etiquette though so no surprise there.

Ah thank you Brittany! I cannot even comment on those threads because you get so many holier than thou posters who support ut. I get that its their wedding, but to have a dry wedding is OUTRAGEOUS. I seriously would probably not go if I was invited to one. Would they expect a vegetarian couple to not serve them meat? And don't try to give me a fancy coffee bar, that doesn't make up for no booze.

I can't love this thread more.

What really, really bothers me about the dry wedding threads is this smug-ish attitude that comes across, as in, 'people who drink for free will be vomiting in the ladies' room and bitch slapping each other but we don't drink so you won't drink and everyone will behave. "

Bad behaviour is not exclusively the expression of people drunk on free liquor. Good behaviour is not the end result of serving sweet tea and mocktails.

@olivebranch a lot of just wedding venues (NOT hotels and NOT country club, like all they do is weddings every weekend) include open bar in the pp price, so it's hard to tell. All inclusive venues I visited included the bar in the price, most of the time they allow the B&G to add alcohol if they want a wider selection or more expensive options. Like usually an open bar would include: a domestic beer (light and regular), a white wine, a red wine, rum to mix, a vodka to mix, a whiskey to mix. Usually there isn't tequila and other types of liquor.

@olivebranch-

We bought 20 cases of wine, 20 cases of beer and 20 bottles of champagne for 130 guests (I live in Alabama) and it came out to less that $1600. Bought the wine at World Market and the beer from a local grocery store that let us buy in bulk and gave us a discount for buying so much.

I literally made a point in my BAM to make sure one of my bullet points of advice was ALCOHOL IS YOUR FRIEND. Like seriously, just because you serve alcohol doesn't mean your guests are going to forget how to act like human beings. I've never been to a dry wedding and never want to.

FutureMrsC- I can use that salt for a margarita I'm having later ;-) That sounds like a terrible wedding you were in! I would hate that!

Also most religions don't ban drinking. I'm Presbyterian and if there isn't wine and beer at our potluck dinners someone is going to be pissed, and thats for a CHURCH function. Also my father The Rev. Dr. retired pastor has a glass of wine with dinner almost every night. Not having at least wine and beer at our wedding was never considered. The weddings I see where people become drunken messes are usually when shots/or hard alcohol is served OR the couple and their friends are barely legal OR the cocktail hour is too long with not enough food.

@Ashley don't get started on the vegetarians. One bride was doing ALL VEGAN catering at her wedding. That went over about as well as cash bars and honeyfunds.

Devil's advocate: as an addictions counselor, I think we need to give a pass to people in early recovery who may not be able to cope with being around that much alcohol. If the bride and groom are actively working to maintain sobriety, as a guest I would respect that. Alright go ahead and tear me to shreds, I can handle it

@JCloves OMG. I can't even handle that. I don't eat fish but that doesn't mean my guests can't. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

Haha when I hear people talk about vegan weddings I can't help but to think of my aunts wedding. According to my parents, my aunt and uncle decided on organic vegan German food for their wedding. My parents said that the food was so terrible that people left DURING DINNER to go get mcdonalds and that people were sneaking in fast food to the rest of the guests. This wedding took place almost 30 years ago and my parents (and other members of my family) still talk about how terrible the food was.

RingAroundTheRoushes- I think that is one of the few times that I would find it acceptable. But I think if would be better if the bride and groom (in your scenario) have an afternoon reception where alcohol would not be as expected.

RingAroundTheRoushes- if the bride or groom were recovering alcoholics that is one thing, but having a dry wedding because uncle bob is recovering, NOPE!

@FFW – This is exactly why I’m struggling! My venue is a hotel; open bar for cocktail hour is factored into the inclusive package. But for the reception dinner, it’s outside the package so I have to come up with something.

I’m hoping to stick with the basic beer/wine/liquor offer. But OMG I cannot get past paying $7 for a can of bud light. Highway robbery.

With any luck, my tactic of eliminating non-drinkers, and then looking at the heavy bud-light drinkers will help me get a better idea of what to spend. But it’s like….$200? $9000? I have no idea.

@ Lauren R. -- Unfortunately, I cannot bring in my own alcohol. I wish! That would have made this much cheaper.

I think being a recovering alcoholic as the bride and groom is a special circumstance.

I mean I'm gluten free but there will be gluten at my wedding hahahaha

Totally agree with you guys! There are definitely ways around it. As for me and my house, we shall serve the Booze

RingAroundtheRoushes YES. I love that.

I just pulled a local catering/bar menu for weddings in Chicago

Beer, wine, soda $11.95 pp,

open bar $16.95 pp

premium open bar $19.95 pp

So for 100 people, $1200 to $2000.

In the grand scheme of it all, it's not that much.