PSA: Serve Alcohol at Your Wedding

Haha I just don't understand people! I'm offering my guests vegetarian, meat, and gluten free options. I'm not vegetarian or gluten free, but I know some of my guests are. I also know that my guests love to drink! Haha Think of your guests at your wedding!!

And for those who come on here and write that everyone told them they had a wonderful time at their (dry) wedding.... well that's the 2nd biggest lie people tell behind "What a beautiful baby!"

We decided to NOT have our reception at the church hall because they wouldnt allow us to drink, Not even a champagne toast. They actually said they make non-alcoholic champagne!!! I was thinking, REALLY what is the point of that?

If you dont choose to serve alcohol it doesnt mean people wont drink, it just means they have to bring their own and spike their own drinks. Which the WILL do. So you mine as well just serve it and let people have fun.

...and another alcohol thread is hidden because somebody didn't like the advice, the humor, the memes, or the truth. Is anyone else getting sick of investing their time in offering responses and advice only to see the OP eventually pick up her ball and go home?

ETA: I totally agree with you, Brittany. On top of that, I thank you for starting a thread that will not be deleted. Dry weddings are not events that anyone wants to spend five hours attending (I have no problem having a two hour lunch with a group of people without alcohol. However, if you want me to invest six hours plus travel time to attend a party, then serve cocktails or shorten the event). No, coffee bars -- no matter how much they look like real bars -- will not thrill your guests who'd like a drink. Soda, water, and gummy bears do not equal a cocktail hour. The couple who hosted that disaster should have been too humiliated to include the words, "cocktail hour" on their wedding invitations. How about the flashy venue -- the one the couple chose (but couldn't really afford)? It becomes far less impressive when a guest hears, "That'll be $8.95" as they reach out to grab their Strawberry Daiquiri or Margarita and simultaneously notice a tip jar sitting on the bar. Dry weddings are akin to sitting in a dance club drinking coffee and being urged to dance for four or five hours. One bride didn't see the point in paying for a DJ for her wedding because she'd been to too many weddings with a DJ and a mostly empty dance floor. She sees no point in paying a DJ when someone in her family is an expert in spotify (or whatever); plus her officiant, a total "friendor", is willing to make announcements. She's not serving cocktails either. Still, she's convinced she's the exception to the rule. Her dry wedding without a DJ is going to be a hit. Then there's the bride who's inviting 300 guests to her dry wedding and then telling a friend that she had no problem with him bringing a flask to her wedding....Geez, these people need advice. What's the point in erasing a thread that will help someone avoid a disaster at a wedding? Posters who've been to dry weddings described their experiences on the deleted thread, and those opinions went from "boring", "dull", "everyone was gone by 7:00 or 7:30", to "good food from the taco truck, and enjoyable for about two hours" (then they left). Why is that feedback so threatening? How about the bride whose reception is all about her and not the guests. She doesn't care if they come or don't come. Who the hell thinks that way? Then there was the bride who told everyone not to worry about the etiquette police because "they're not close to you". The etiquette police are your guests. What is up with this mentality?

Please, stop deleting threads.

Just as a side note, I think we should make a weddingwire etiquette book and explain why cash bars, dry weddings, honey funds, wedding funds, etc are NOT ok! And of course it will be filled with hedgehogs, sloths, cats, and an excessive amount of memes!

My wedding reception had 80 adults. People arrived at 1 pm and ceremony was at 1:30. Bar was open from 1 to 5 when wedding ended. Bill, including Tip, was 4 grand so that came out to just $50 per person. Which is 3-5 drinks depending on what people ordered. Nobody was out of control.

@ Futuremrsbatog- I had your meme as a sign at my wedding at the bar!

Double post

Brittany, I've written two Amazon best sellers (true crime), but what's been floating around in my head is a book about contemporary wedding etiquette. I've been to enough weddings (personal and professional) to know what works and what fails. If I compile that information with the stories from this site, I think I could write an excellent book on the subject. I'm totally serious (this was not the next idea on my agenda, but I'm seriously thinking about it).

Yes!

Centerpiece- as always, you wrote a beautiful post (which I did not notice before posting my last comment). I think it would be amazing for you to write and I would help in anyway I could! Also, what books have your written? I love true crime!

ETA: can we title the book: "What your guests really think about your cash bar. (And other etiquette breaches to avoid) "

Or if you don't like the response to the question you posed (where you asked for feedback!), the reasonable response is to clearly hide the thread and pretend like it never happened...

Oh course Minerva! What else would you do?!

I love how many alcohol-loving date twins I have in this thread.

Open bars for everyone.

You know ladies - I have been sick in bed for the last 3 days so I have some catching up to do. I don't remember the water/soda/gummy bear story so if anyone wants to indulge me, that would be awesome.

You know, if you invite me to your afternoon wedding and there is no alcohol I have no problem whatsoever. I also expect that puppy to be over before dinner. I have just never seen a dry reception turn into an awesome party with a packed dance floor and everyone having the time of their lives.

While I agree with Miss Manners that a dry wedding is NOT an etiquette faus pax, it certainly is one way to set up an early evening and people leaving pretty damn quick.

So - the gummy bear story and the one that was deleted?

Were these gummy bears soaked in vodka?

True story, even if you have a church wedding/reception, someone will bring alcohol.. don't believe me... I have proof.

I totally disagree-- the only legit reason for having a dry wedding is cause you want to. Hosts are not obliged to provide alcohol any more than they are obliged to provide a certain kind of music or meal.

Zoe?

You're wrong.

To throw gasoline on this fire: my family has never (nope not one single time) served alcohol at a wedding, party, or family dinner. We just don't do it. Yes, we drink, just not at those occasions. It's not something any of my guests would even expect. FH's family does not provide alcohol for parties and get togethers. If you want to drink, you bring your own. (I am by no means suggesting a BYOB wedding!) It doesn't mean any of our relatives are poor hosts, it's just not something we do. The phrase "properly host" has been used quite a lot and it just rubs me the wrong way. If it is something you and your guests just don't do, it doesn't make you a poor host if you forego it. And the (small) guest list is 99% of these same family members.