PSA: Serve Alcohol at Your Wedding

@Ashley that list wasn't what *I* consider etiquette. That was what IS proper etiquette. Again, people don't get to decide what is or isn't proper etiquette. Read @Stephanie or @Rebecca's posts if you need further clarification.

Elizabeth -- what I think I expressed was that you judged her motive for passing on what you think is false information. You said that she is doing that "with the intention of making others feel guilty for not doing what you want them to do". How could you possibly know that? Do you know what's in her brain? Based on her countless real life interchanges with couples and guests, she expressing what she believes is true. To say that she is intentionally trying to make others feel guilty because they won't do what she wants them to do is going too far. I can't speak for Celia, but I doubt she's that emotionally invested in a stranger's wedding.

ETA: At this point, I feel like I'm the recipient of a condescending lecture, and the lecture is not going to end until the posting stops. So, I'm going to do my part and say adios.

"Rules of etiquette are universal"

Actually they're not.

@The Centerpiece Flowers I would assume that someone as knowledgeable as she is knows that hosting a dry wedding is not against etiquette. Yes, I did editorialize on her motives and you're right, I did go too far. I will apologize to @Celia for that. I still maintain that what she posted was factually inaccurate, but I was wrong to editorialize her motives for doing so.

"Again, people don't get to decide what is or isn't proper etiquette."

That's where it comes from. People. It's not like one day Moses walked to the top of a mountain and found a tablet inscribed with a list of wedding etiquette rules. These were developed over time by people.

Centerpiece is right on. Celia gives great advice based on the 1000s of weddings she's catered or been officiate at. I have never seen her bully anyone, in fact she usually makes it clear, do what you want but know that people will talk about this or that behind your back.

Shes not going to the damn wedding why the hell would she actually care so much to do that.

Elizabeth, I have the rare, cool opportunity to be at hundreds of weddings a year for people I don't know. Except for the couple. I get to be a fly on the wall. It's interesting, really.

And Centerpiece is right. I don't really care what anyone does, because I know that everyone who does something weird can find a reason that it's just fine.

I need a glass of wine. A giant one. Anyone else? I'll buy.

@Celia I apologize for posting about your motives. That part of my post was wrong.

It's okay Elizabeth. I have skin like a grapefruit. oh wait...that didn't come out right....

;-)

Celia, are you willing to spring for an Absolut, neat? if so, I'm there. If not, we'll just have a drink and consider it a cash bar. You know what...forget it. My treat. I'll buy your wine, lol.

When I host a dinner party, I take great care in making sure I have drinks and food my guests will enjoy. I do not have the mentality that "well, they're getting a free meal so they should just be thankful and eat/drink whatever I give them!" I have a friend who really enjoys gin cocktails, so I always have a bottle on hand. Most of my friends are red wine drinkers, so that is what I serve. I'll make a couple gluten-free dishes for my friend with Celiac's. This is called hosting. Call it good etiquette, call it "making people comfortable and happy", it doesn't really matter. Fans of dry weddings who say guests should just be happy and supportive and not care that there isn't alcohol, what do you do when you invite guests over for dinner at your house? Do you completely ignore your guests' preferences and do everything your way? A wedding reception is just the larger version of hosting dinner for your friends and family. Most of your guests like a glass of wine or cocktail in situations where there are a lot of people, dinner, and dancing. Make them comfortable and happy with proper hosting.

If you hate dry wedding so much, don't go.

If you are more excited to celebrate the way YOU want to than to celebrate THEIR wedding the way THEY want to, get over YOURSELF and stay home.

Seriously? You're bumping a really old thread with a really unpopular opinion?

I knew this thread didn't get bumped because someone had something intelligent to contribute.

Sometimes I get the feeling there are some unfortunate souls on here that have never been to a properly hosted wedding. Sad. Just feed your guests juice and crackers, no one will talk about it. Its YOUR day. Just make your guests stand for two hours, its YOUR day. Who cares if your guests enjoy themselves? Just cut all of the amenities they will enjoy/need so that you can justify inviting 200 of your oh-so-imoptant friends and family, of which none can be excluded, right?

Way to stir up drama Aubrey- Why bring up a thread from 2 weeks ago?

Seriously Aubrey? A wedding reception is a THANK YOU to your guests for attending...their comfort and enjoyment should be your highest priority.

I need more coffee today, or in the spirit of this thread, wine.

Oh, this gets to be absurd after a while. Now, not only is it all about the couple, now it's all about the couple telling their guests how to celebrate (i.e.: You will celebrate our way!). Sure, everyone who doesn't think lemonade and sweet tea are the stuff of adult celebrations -- stay home (even if they're willing to come for a few hours and bring you a gift)! Then people who feel the way Aubrey One Star feels can come back after her wedding and complain that people didn't show up because her lovely "Get over yourselves and stay home" comment made it's way through the grapevine and the guests took her command seriously. Or, perhaps she can come back and complain that too many guests left early.

Have your party, invite whomever you want, and serve what you want; but in no universe is it proper to tell people that if they don't celebrate your way, they should stay home.

This again?